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    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Default INFJ - unhealthy traits

    I've seen the term 'martyr complex' used to describe unhealthy INFJs. Could anyone describe this in detail? What are some other unhealthy traits to look out for with INFJs?

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    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    I've seen the term 'martyr complex' used to describe unhealthy INFJs. Could anyone describe this in detail? What are some other unhealthy traits to look out for with INFJs?
    they don't have good boundaries.

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    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    OK, it's a start.

    C'mon people, I know you're viewing the thread . . . I hold no ill intent.

    Not trying to make this a "Hate on INFJs" thread, just trying to draw some sort of line between healthy and unhealthy. It's a useful activity for everyone involved.


    Or maybe I'm not being specific enough?

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    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    An unhealthy INFJ doesn't have to go into martyr mode. Instead they can be very critical, temperamental, bossy, judgmental, dismissive, and uncaring. Quick to anger and when angered, may go on a rampage. Then cools off. Unhealthy INFJ is quite a sight to see.

    I mean, not saying that like I've experienced it or anything...

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    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    they don't have good boundaries.
    In what respect? I'd agree that they can probe into things which seem to be not their business, but I might have a different tolerance for that sort of thing than others.

    When does that cross the line into unhealthy?

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    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    they don't have good boundaries.
    This too. Although the boundary between INFJ and everyone else is pretty fuzzy in general.

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    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    An unhealthy INFJ doesn't have to go into martyr mode. Instead they can be very critical, temperamental, bossy, judgmental, dismissive, and uncaring. Quick to anger and when angered, may go on a rampage. Then cools off. Unhealthy INFJ is quite a sight to see.

    I mean, not saying that like I've experienced it or anything...
    Thanks for the response.

    Well, that just sounds like an INFJ under stress, which is also useful to know. That doesn't sound that bad, everyone gets stressed sometimes and then cools off. I wouldn't call that unhealthy.

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    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    Well, that just sounds like an INFJ under stress, which is also useful to know. That doesn't sound that bad, everyone gets stressed sometimes and then cools off. I wouldn't call that unhealthy.
    Even if it's an everyday thing?

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    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    A question: I've noticed that when an INFJ gets into 'bossy mode' they might create a list of things that NEED to be done. After they cool off, it's hard to tell whether they really care about having those things done. I can't tell if they are just being nice/feel ashamed that they got angry so they act like those things aren't important or if those things really just aren't important.

    Any advice?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bamboo View Post
    In what respect? I'd agree that they can probe into things which seem to be not their business, but I might have a different tolerance for that sort of thing than others.

    When does that cross the line into unhealthy?
    I assumed that the poster meant that INFJs can have a really hard time saying "No" to people - this is part of the martyr complex. They don't set boundaries for themselves regarding how much they can really handle, and they'll take on the world's problems as if they are the only ones that can help.

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