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  1. #41
    Senior Mugwump Apollanaut's Avatar
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    I thought we were perfect!
    INFJ 9w1 sx/sp/so

    "A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." - Gandalf The Grey

    And if I only could,
    I'd make a deal with God,
    And I'd get him to swap our places,
    Be running up that road,
    Be running up that hill,
    With no problems.

    - Kate Bush

  2. #42
    Senior Member MrME's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IDK123 View Post
    Perfectionist to a fault
    Highly critical
    Overly sensitive
    "woe is me" syndrome
    intense mental/emotional breakdowns
    Paranoia
    Pessimism
    bull-headedness-won't listen to reason
    Clingy
    extra moody
    a doormat-too submissive
    dogmatic
    delusional
    I wonder if maturity has a tendency to beat many of the more extreme negative traits out of the INFJ. Reality demands a certain level of objective thinking, and with a strengthened Ti, the INFJ seems better able to get a reign on their emotions.
    INFJ
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  3. #43
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrME View Post
    I wonder if maturity has a tendency to beat many of the more extreme negative traits out of the INFJ. Reality demands a certain level of objective thinking, and with a strengthened Ti, the INFJ seems better able to get a reign on their emotions.
    What a great thought. I've been trying to watch out for some of those pitfalls in myself by using Ti to check myself. Along w/ maturity, there probably needs to be a certain level of self-awareness for any INFJ to improve.

  4. #44
    Senior Member paisley1's Avatar
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    I agree with that, we need to be tested, and pushed to define and refine our character. I can't stress how much we need to push our Ti button to make life and relationships work for us. It's almost mandatory for self awareness. Any unhealthy type is bad and unhealthy INFJ's are quite self destructive. Again, Ti is the key to success for the INFJ in my mind. Work on that, and you'll find inner balance.
    "Truth stands true, independent of whether you agree with it or not."

    "Don't let what matters least, matter most."

    Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
    Intuitive (N) 62.5% Sensing (S) 37.5%
    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 51.52% Perceiving (P) 48.48%
    8w9 EIE

  5. #45
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    *Skips a a couple pages of posts*

    I can agree with having a hard time say No to people, but its more that I try to find a way back into my own mind and ignore the world and problems until someone kicks me into gear again. Another thing is that I can spout off a lot of stupid sarcasm and vulgar crudities (Jokes are a form of coping/venting for me)

    I don't quite understand what is meant by 'boundaries' between people and the INFJ, though. I might be seeing it at a different angle.
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

  6. #46
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    There are boundaries??

    The thing about having to SAY everything is so distasteful to me, I can't even express it. It seems to me so often that people would be better off not to talk so much. Also the accusation (I feel it that way -- an accusation rather than a statement) that we have all these secrets. Some things are private, that's all. As in none of your business. Why is that such a foreign concept? Which things are none of your business? The things I won't talk about. Why? Because I don't want to! This strikes other people as bull-headed but it seems to me an inalienable right of the individual to define what matters and what does not for himself, and to define what is shared and what is not, and for other people to ... like it or lump it. :-D

    I think we do get overextended and feel martyred -- people tend to tell us their problems, and there's a quest to understand the other person and to feel what they feel just to experience it, to have the commonality, provide the empathy -- and by doing that, to be able to see a way out or a solution -- and instead people get hooked on that level of attention, which they hardly get anywhere else, and just want to milk it instead of making progress. Also we're good at this, so if there is no gratification anywhere else, we'll set up shop as armchair psychologists, and then we get in over our heads.

    It does also seem that we're very bad at getting our message across when we do ask for something. I've seen more than one INFJ say that they've spoken their wishes and it goes unheard. Since it takes so much to actually speak it, when it is ignored, it's a big deal.

    We are very strong-willed, and people almost never pick up on that.

    If we let ourselves get to the point of Teh Shadow ... well, that's very bad indeed. It takes so much to get there that there's almost no coming back from it.

  7. #47
    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
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    When I'm stressed out I do become really critical and self deprecating to the point where I annoy myself. There's an NT side (maybe ST) that readily shows when I'm down (quick gratification, greed, uncaring, etc). I am also guilty of saying yes just because I don't want to let the other person down, but then I kick myself for not saying no.

  8. #48
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    I wonder if saying no is as difficult for other types. It's excruciating, isn't it?

    You know what's funny, though -- sometimes when you say no, the other person says, "Oh, ok."

    I love it when that happens.

  9. #49
    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
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    It really is hard because in my head I know that I can't please everyone, you know? Yeah, when they go "oh" and the priceless look on their face is like "Well, you've said yes every other time, why not now?".

  10. #50
    Glycerine
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    I have read that ISFJs also have that problem.

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