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  1. #11
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Breaking up with someone over a disagreement in moral crusades is the NFJest thing I've ever heard.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  2. #12
    Senior Member paisley1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyz22 View Post
    i dated an infj about a year ago - the relationship did not end well. i was 18, he was 20. we broke up one night over an argument about the death penalty (specifically for a pedophile) - i was against it for several reasons (i was a "feeler" back then) and related it in terms of empathy - mainly because i did not believe in condemning another human being to death because of a condition which she or he may be helpless over. there were better alternatives. (fi?) he was appalled by my argument and asked me why i could defend such twisted individuals who violated society and impinged on the innocence of children (fe?)- he took it as a sign that my soul was somehow corrupt and i had no sense of moral boundary. he broke up with me that night.

    i was really hurt and bewildered that night, but have since moved on quite happily in my life. he did a few really hurtful things to me after our break up and now i have walled myself completely off from him. i see him now as a selfish pig who is only concerned with preserving the purposed "sanctity" of his own soul. he has no concern over matters or people that don't directly benefit him and he is defensive and deludes himself that everything he does for others is altruistic and a reflection of the sensitive perceptiveness of his intentions.

    as a result, i get a negative gut reaction when i think of infj's-but it's something i want to overcome because it's silly to attribute the same characteristics to everyone of a general personality type.

    infj's, let me know what you think.
    Good Lord, you've just described me. When it comes right down to it, if you're looking for "pig-headedness" the INFJ tree, is the right place to bark. I can see where you were coming from, but if you're argument was stupid and pig-headed, that is enough to set off an INFJ and makes it easy to cut ties with someone physically, but usually nothing is enough for them to cut ties, emotionally, like cascademn said. If anything, we'll forever want to change you and check up on you, to see if you've made any "progress".

    I love heated debate, but I never take it so personally, however if you're point is logically fallacious and completely retarded as though you were supporting pedophilia, I would forever see you as an idiot. However, in that specific case about breaking up over capital punishment, as an INFJ male, I see both sides of the coin. Death works, but death is too good for the pedophile, as they need to suffer for a while with the reality of (apart from it's immorality) it's destructive psychological, physiological, and sociological affect on the victims and society. I see nothing wrong with castration for repeat offenders, but what's needed overall is longer and stricter jail sentences and more rehab for those predators. At least you're in the right ball park.

    I broke up with a GREAT girl, because it would never last with our opposing worldviews. I hung on as long as I could but it just fizzled into the ether. I can love the person, but I will never love a diametric worldview. As the worldview and the person are one and the same in our eyes, the part we want to love and invest in, we can not. We're left with loving everything else, but what's important to us. We can't give you our full love and devotion. It's not so much you, but it hacks off this vital part of our own ability to love you, creating an inability in us. Removes our power to love!! LOL! (That's a great line, I'm going to use that, and quote myself, hahaha)

    Rule of thumb for long term relationships with the INFJ male: When personality and attraction are extremely strong, lifestyle and worldviews always veto that strength.

    When the latter is what dominates the conversation, beware, because they usually don't come up unless they are an issue. When the issue is too "HOT BUTTON" for you and the INFJ, it's only a matter of time, before the relationship ends. To salvage it, you'd better be able to see both sides of the coin, and understand where the INFJ is coming from, and be able to back up both views. Understanding your position well, is almost an inferior position to the INFJ's ability to see both sides, and realization of which one is ultimately better overall, to them.

    INFJ's as loving as we are, are highly intelligent and will tell the nicest old lady, that she's an idiot without saying she's an idiot, through well crafted wordplay. We are sensitive to the issue at hand first, and to the person, second. When the person is no longer reasonable and hidden motives and evil's are evident, the person's feelings are completely off the table and the issue trumps the feelings of the person. Ad hoc, depending on the scenario and INFJ.

    Ooops, I wrote an essay...sorry.
    "Truth stands true, independent of whether you agree with it or not."

    "Don't let what matters least, matter most."

    Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
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    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 51.52% Perceiving (P) 48.48%
    8w9 EIE

  3. #13
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    dearie.b hit most of the major points. In general, there are very few things that get me riled up but those few things can really cause a sh*storm of emotional backlash.

    That said, I don't know if I've ever experienced a person argue that passionately in FAVOR of the death penalty. Usually death penalty proponents (at least in my experience) go with the cold logic approach. Unless, that is, they themselves have been victimized in such a way that they have a very strong personal investment in the issue.


    Also, your ex sounds like kind of a douchebag.

  4. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    Breaking up with someone over a disagreement in moral crusades is the NFJest thing I've ever heard.
    You're absolutely right.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  5. #15
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    yaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnn

    are u really really an entp ?

    I mean, your posts are so long.
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  6. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by EcK View Post
    yaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnn

    are u really really an entp ?

    I mean, your posts are so long.
    /thump
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  7. #17
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    /thump



    !!!!
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  8. #18
    Senior Member IrishStallion819's Avatar
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    The important thing is not to let one "negative" experience with a type of person, let it affect your whole perception of that kind.. Just like a woman who has been raped by a black man, shouldn't think all black men are evil but what that "one" paticular man did a wrong towards her.. Also, Its important to remember that we all do things that "sabotage" our relationships with other people; Just when we get upset at someone for what they have done to us, we then need to make sure that we look at ourselves.. I would just encourage you to make right with this person and ask forgiveness and admitt where you have done wrong to him.. Life is too short to harbor hatred feelings towards and it'll make you feel so much better when you make right with another person.. Realize what has happened in the past, should stay in the past and you shouldn't let it affect you anymore.. But we has human beings, tend to harbor ill feelings about eachother, for what has happened in our past.
    "People often Find out the truth, when its too late!!!"

    Introverted (I) 78.79% Intuitive (N) 61.54% Feeling (F) 65.85% Judging (J) 60.53%

  9. #19
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    I hung on as long as I could but it just fizzled into the ether. I can love the person, but I will never love a diametric worldview. As the worldview and the person are one and the same in our eyes, the part we want to love and invest in, we can not.
    That's what I thought a few years ago, I guess that's because INFJs tend to identify others by their worldview/ideas. When I met new people I could only remember the ones with extraordinary ideas and/or share my own worldview.

    But now I try to relate people more with their personalities, INTENTIONS (I believe INFJs JUST KNOW it) and feelings. That's another thing I learned from ENFP, everyone has something to offer.

  10. #20
    Senior Member paisley1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dearie.b View Post
    That's what I thought a few years ago, I guess that's because INFJs tend to identify others by their worldview/ideas. When I met new people I could only remember the ones with extraordinary ideas and/or share my own worldview.

    But now I try to relate people more with their personalities, INTENTIONS (I believe INFJs JUST KNOW it) and feelings. That's another thing I learned from ENFP, everyone has something to offer.
    Haha, ya! Some things positive and some things not so positive. Why stick with a relationship that'll end in tears all the time, because of opposing worldviews? It's a matter of what you're willing to put up with, and to what extent.

    What I'd like to propose is that INFJ's view themselves as a nation and when we find a person to love, they're like our ambassadors. It's an arrogant stance to make, but it's nonetheless an accurate description of our type of omniscience. When the INFJ views a loved ones worldview with disdain they hate how that would eventually manifest itself and disapprove of how that stance will cause that person to act. Therefore the person is no longer the INFJ's ambassador while they're out in the world. It's like the INFJ sees into the future of how the opposing worldview will handle different circumstances, and threatens this national allegiance and ambassadorship to the INFJ. At the same time, when we do find our ambassadors, we tend to put them on a pedastal which hurts the relationship, because of the high expectations we put on our loved ones.

    I love a lot of people, but I know right away if it'll last or if it'll fail, even when all the worldviews are lined up. I get really nervous and awkward when a girl meets the criteria...blushing...smiling....staring...looks of amazment.....it's ridiculous and embarrassing really.
    "Truth stands true, independent of whether you agree with it or not."

    "Don't let what matters least, matter most."

    Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
    Intuitive (N) 62.5% Sensing (S) 37.5%
    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 51.52% Perceiving (P) 48.48%
    8w9 EIE

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