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[ENFP] ENFP and INFP relationship

Lotr246

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
350
What are your thoughts on this relationship? Would it work, or fail miserably?
 

Moiety

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
5,996
MBTI Type
ISFJ
I hope it does, because I tend to like INFP women even if I never actually dated one. (Only Ss...)
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i like infp's too...i think it would help if the f/t was pretty balanced...i wouldn't be good with too much f i don't think....but yeah...i think it could...and looking back i think my first serious boyfriend probably was an infp...and we were together for 3 years...but a lil too much f for me...it was smothering.
 
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
1,858
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
54
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Encounters are always friendly with los ENFPs, but there is never any tension... that "thing", that metaphorical fishing hook that gets caught in the roof of my mouth and digs itself up through the middle of my skull, that affirmation that I'm more than a passing acquaintance. I slide right past all that I meet. We probably find each other pleasing, maybe like an ice cream cone from McDonalds, but definitely not Haagen-Dazs.

The one that I know well is always off chasing bigger and grander visions, talking to anyone and everyone, respectfully treating them all with the same genuine smile and concern. I reflect and reflect and reflect some more.

We get along very well, but we both try to change each other because we think that we'll be able to look for what we need in each other because it can be so pleasing at first.

An ENFP needs someone precise in thought but capable of having fun in the moment. INFPs, in all of our internal spaciness, need someone precise in thought but capable of pulling us into the real world. Someone who is capable of introspection is a plus.

I meet ENFP women at school and work and wherever all the time. N/A in that area of relationships, though. I'll be honest... I can't see it ever working with one.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
is this a typical feeling introverts have about all extraverts...or is this an enfp thing...because it bothers me quite a lot i think...i do know how to make someone feel more special than anyone else...i am not the "same" to everyone...i hate that people assume that.
 
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
1,858
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
54
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
I believe you, I guess. Can't speak for anyone else.
 

Nonsensical

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
4,006
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7
I don't know if I can see myself having a serious relationship with an ENFP, I'd feel like they'd loose interest in me too fast, I feel like ENFPs would require another mate as playful as them, but that's only from my own experiences and in no way is it the case with other INFPs.
 

kiddykat

movin melodies
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
1,111
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4, 7
I get what you're saying CandyLandJoe,

I was surprised to meet a few INFPs in class, who happen to take the test through the school's career counseling department.. that's when I notice we were really similar in a lot of ways, but the main difference was our style of communication. Though, I'm not an extreme extrovert, there is somewhat of a difference.

I personally find INFPs adorable. In my long-term relationships, the extroverts were the ones I lasted longest with.
 

Tiny Army

New member
Joined
Jan 12, 2009
Messages
679
MBTI Type
EN?P
Enneagram
7
I am dating an INFP. We are very much in love. The best part is using our collective Ne and Fi to have long conversations that just go on well into the night. He is heavily introverted but we spend most of our time together. I find that just having him in the room kind of satiates my extraversion and my long silences keep him from becoming overwhelmed.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I've seen it work. Why wouldn't it?

Say the ENFP was very interested, and so was the INFP. That would work, that is how every relationship happens.
 

Udog

Seriously Delirious
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
5,290
MBTI Type
INfp
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
What are your thoughts on this relationship? Would it work, or fail miserably?

Either one is possible, of course. I find the dynamic with most ENFPs to be very natural, intense, and deep. Our similarities pose issues, though.
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,668
MBTI Type
YMCA
Either one is possible, of course. I find the dynamic with most ENFPs to be very natural, intense, and deep. Our similarities pose issues, though.

I've read the similarity seems to be the biggest killer in ENFP/INFP relationship. Not in the sense that we are too similar, but in the sense that we believe we are similar than we are in some ways, and more different than we are in others. And that belief can cause issues that are quite real and important to be ignored, because we take understanding of eachother as a given, when it isn't.
 

Tiny Army

New member
Joined
Jan 12, 2009
Messages
679
MBTI Type
EN?P
Enneagram
7
I can see how that could happen. My boyfriend (who is currently snoring and hogging the whole bed) has greater thinking tendencies than most INFPs. He has mysteriously strong Ti which can often help to give me some perspective. As an ENFP it's difficult for me to not make assumptions about his emotions and as an INFP he's sometimes kind of oblivious because his rich analysis of the world isn't turned outwards much (he's SUPER introverted). If you make a policy about being completely open and verbal about your feelings, it can often turn Fi arguments into Ne discussions.
 

PeaceBaby

reborn
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
5,950
MBTI Type
N/A
Enneagram
N/A
Well, why couldn't an ENFP / INFP relationship work?

Personally, I find these kind of threads curiousity-provoking. I understand there are lots of folks here who are at that phase in their life where they are looking for a soul-mate but when the sparks ignite, and you are attracted to someone, do you really run to the MBTI like some kind of horoscope to determine if a partnership would work?

I say, phooey on that. Love each other, get to know and respect one another's unique qualities and communicate. That's a bigger determinant of long-term success.
 

Analysisfailed

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
10
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4
I usually find that I prefer spending time alone with just one person. And most every E that I know finds that I am able to occupy them better than a roomful of people when we are alone.
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
From my experience, INFPs often lack social confidence. This really amplifies when it comes to dating. INFPs tend to think that a big extrovert or ENFP or myself would 'get bored easily' with them and so have trouble feeling comfortable and truly letting go to create bonds.

What Tiny Army said about 'being explicit' with feelings is absolutely true. I think it's definitely type related, though of course individuals vary -- but INFPs (and INTPs) can be super secretive and not forthcoming about their feelings (even when you ask!) and expect you to be a mindreader. The ENFP and INFP can get into a loop of assuming and projecting and not sharing with one another and get into stupid fights.

Also, XNFP can be super sensitive and coupled with a poor communication dynamic, end up sabatoging good relations.

Good communication is the key to any healthy relationship, but I tihnk depending on the strength of the functions and experience - the INFP and ENFP can end up being frustrated. Speaking for me, I can get extremely frustrated.

I think I'm a little bitter myself and in the future wish to avoid dating another INXP so take what I say with a grain of salt.
 

FantailedWall

New member
Joined
Nov 25, 2008
Messages
247
MBTI Type
ENfP
Enneagram
4w5
Hmmm. Can't say - only know one INFP (who is definitely an INFP, anyway) and she's a straight female, so....

I find that there are two types of people I am instantly attracted to:
The quietly intense, artistic, deeply philosophical yet prone-to-bouts-of-playfulness one (mostly INFJ)
And the super-charismatic, daring, fun-loving, performing, we-interact-in-the-same-way-but-are-actually-extremely-different one (mostly ESFP)

It's entirely possible the qualities that attract me to that first 'type' are found in INFPs?
Can't speak for ENFPs at large.
 

Nillerz

New member
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Messages
391
MBTI Type
ENFP
I have an INFP girlfriend. One thing she says about me is that I make her sane (I have T tendencies) and one thing I say about her is that she keeps me human. There are tons of social confidence problems and she really does have a hard time getting close. She also seems to not trust me and has said before that she expects me to get bored of her.
 

phoenix13

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
1,293
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w8
What are your thoughts on this relationship? Would it work, or fail miserably?

They're so close that I think they would compete. Also, the similarity takes the mystery out of the INFP's privacy/reservedness so there's not as much interest on the part of the easily bored ENFP.

Disclaimer: I pulled that theory out of my booty. It is not backed by experience.
 

starlight101

New member
Joined
Apr 16, 2012
Messages
1
MBTI Type
XNFP
I am XNFP but slightly more ENFP...
and I just got out of a relationship with an INFP, and a realllly strong INFP. I found that we initially were helping each other change a lot. However his introvertedness became very smothering as he rarely required socialisation and felt threatened when i made friends with his friends (female or male) because he was used to understanding people, and i understood them too...our sameness was no longer unique for him
Also, he became very competitive and worried I was going to cheat on him because he wasn't "interesting enough" in his eyes. We broke up because he was unable to communicate with me clearly about what he wanted and when I actually initiated the break up, he clung on even more for 2 months and became very controlling, which was really unlike him..I think at that point we were critically competitive and in a nasty cycle of he assumed i'd read his mind and know what he needed/wanted and also depended on me for his self worth. this was suffocating to say the least. I dont think his te function has been developed at all, where as I have a higher te function as being a single mother. Out of nessecity!

Also I agree with the "it" factor, it was missing for me in this relationship. I lusted after him, I cared for him and we made Great sexual partners and friends, but i do not miss him now- i feel mostly relieved i have my personal space at home in order to reflect on all my outside interactions.... He was In love with me, and had a burning desire for me, and I just didn't have that for him. Not sure if thats INFP related or just a one off experience. I felt really bad breaking up for him but you can't manufacture feelings for someone and as an ENFP when I do feel "it" i feel it!! :D
 
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