I am an ENFP woman who will be celebrating her fifth year of marriage to a wonderful INFP man later on this summer. We also have a sweet baby girl together. Of course, when I met and married my hubby, he was strong INTP and I was testing at the time as an INFJ. We met when we were both 19 and married 7 months later.
Personally I think the fact that we are both flexible in our preferences and willing to expand the ways in which we relate to each other really helps. We have some similar weaknesses, primarily our dislike of boring tasks and mundane routine. Also, we know that lack of routine can make the necessary day to day tasks a challenge for us to keep up with. So we have worked really hard to minimize things that require maintence responsibilities. We eat simpler meals so that we spend less time cooking and cleaning, we have our personal belongings down to the essentials so that we arent distracted from our big goals by our possessions.
I think the best things about our compatability are as follows:
•similar sense of humor- our humor is witty, mischeivous, flows naturally, and low on sarcasm/meanness
•we are both idealists- we live for the big causes as well as the day to wonders of life
•we are united in compassion and empathy
•his deep thoughts are interesting to me, his independent, soulful style of thinking is inspiring to me
•my playfulness and changefulness is interesting to him. One of the first things he found attractive about me was that he couldn't figure out what I was thinking the majority of the time.
•his thoroughness and excellence provides a sense of security that enables me to be freer in my creativity
•I am fairly independent and I don't mind going out alone, this allows me to get in my social time while my honey gets in his hobby time. When I come home I want to talk about what I did and saw, where I went, who I met etc. And he usually has something cool to show me too (a Ted talk he found, a song he wrote, a book he read etc). This does require maturity, trust, honesty and thorough communication. It takes practice to make sure that there arent being any assumptions being made about how the other one feels.
Also it's harder to make the relationship work with a baby, but we're recruiting the help of family and friends to allow us time alone, and time together. The experience has helped us grow and ultimately brought us closer together as a couple.
•the "it" factor is there for both of us. I knew within the first two months of meeting him that this was the man for me. If something ever happened to him, I wouldn't date/remarry after him; I dont think I could be as happy with anyone else as I am with him. He has told me the same thing many times.
There are more, but those are some of the highlights. Our differences make us interesting, our similarities help us feel accepted and understood. The fact that there is ultimately more to our personalities than what can be releaved in a Myers-Briggs analysis and that people change within the parameters of that scale is comforting.