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  1. #11
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lotr246 View Post
    What are your thoughts on this relationship? Would it work, or fail miserably?
    Either one is possible, of course. I find the dynamic with most ENFPs to be very natural, intense, and deep. Our similarities pose issues, though.

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Either one is possible, of course. I find the dynamic with most ENFPs to be very natural, intense, and deep. Our similarities pose issues, though.
    I've read the similarity seems to be the biggest killer in ENFP/INFP relationship. Not in the sense that we are too similar, but in the sense that we believe we are similar than we are in some ways, and more different than we are in others. And that belief can cause issues that are quite real and important to be ignored, because we take understanding of eachother as a given, when it isn't.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    I can see how that could happen. My boyfriend (who is currently snoring and hogging the whole bed) has greater thinking tendencies than most INFPs. He has mysteriously strong Ti which can often help to give me some perspective. As an ENFP it's difficult for me to not make assumptions about his emotions and as an INFP he's sometimes kind of oblivious because his rich analysis of the world isn't turned outwards much (he's SUPER introverted). If you make a policy about being completely open and verbal about your feelings, it can often turn Fi arguments into Ne discussions.

  4. #14
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Well, why couldn't an ENFP / INFP relationship work?

    Personally, I find these kind of threads curiousity-provoking. I understand there are lots of folks here who are at that phase in their life where they are looking for a soul-mate but when the sparks ignite, and you are attracted to someone, do you really run to the MBTI like some kind of horoscope to determine if a partnership would work?

    I say, phooey on that. Love each other, get to know and respect one another's unique qualities and communicate. That's a bigger determinant of long-term success.

  5. #15
    Junior Member Analysisfailed's Avatar
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    I usually find that I prefer spending time alone with just one person. And most every E that I know finds that I am able to occupy them better than a roomful of people when we are alone.
    "Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves." - Blaise Pascal

    "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics of unified Russia, and to the Socialist State for which it stands, one nation, under Lenin, with Equality and Vodka for all."

  6. #16
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    From my experience, INFPs often lack social confidence. This really amplifies when it comes to dating. INFPs tend to think that a big extrovert or ENFP or myself would 'get bored easily' with them and so have trouble feeling comfortable and truly letting go to create bonds.

    What Tiny Army said about 'being explicit' with feelings is absolutely true. I think it's definitely type related, though of course individuals vary -- but INFPs (and INTPs) can be super secretive and not forthcoming about their feelings (even when you ask!) and expect you to be a mindreader. The ENFP and INFP can get into a loop of assuming and projecting and not sharing with one another and get into stupid fights.

    Also, XNFP can be super sensitive and coupled with a poor communication dynamic, end up sabatoging good relations.

    Good communication is the key to any healthy relationship, but I tihnk depending on the strength of the functions and experience - the INFP and ENFP can end up being frustrated. Speaking for me, I can get extremely frustrated.

    I think I'm a little bitter myself and in the future wish to avoid dating another INXP so take what I say with a grain of salt.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

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  7. #17
    Senior Member FantailedWall's Avatar
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    Hmmm. Can't say - only know one INFP (who is definitely an INFP, anyway) and she's a straight female, so....

    I find that there are two types of people I am instantly attracted to:
    The quietly intense, artistic, deeply philosophical yet prone-to-bouts-of-playfulness one (mostly INFJ)
    And the super-charismatic, daring, fun-loving, performing, we-interact-in-the-same-way-but-are-actually-extremely-different one (mostly ESFP)

    It's entirely possible the qualities that attract me to that first 'type' are found in INFPs?
    Can't speak for ENFPs at large.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Nillerz's Avatar
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    I have an INFP girlfriend. One thing she says about me is that I make her sane (I have T tendencies) and one thing I say about her is that she keeps me human. There are tons of social confidence problems and she really does have a hard time getting close. She also seems to not trust me and has said before that she expects me to get bored of her.

  9. #19
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lotr246 View Post
    What are your thoughts on this relationship? Would it work, or fail miserably?
    They're so close that I think they would compete. Also, the similarity takes the mystery out of the INFP's privacy/reservedness so there's not as much interest on the part of the easily bored ENFP.

    Disclaimer: I pulled that theory out of my booty. It is not backed by experience.

    "OMG I FEEEEEEEEEL SO INTENSELY ABOUT EVERYTHING OMG OMG OMG GET ME A XANAX" -Priam (ENFP impersonation)

  10. #20
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    I am XNFP but slightly more ENFP...
    and I just got out of a relationship with an INFP, and a realllly strong INFP. I found that we initially were helping each other change a lot. However his introvertedness became very smothering as he rarely required socialisation and felt threatened when i made friends with his friends (female or male) because he was used to understanding people, and i understood them too...our sameness was no longer unique for him
    Also, he became very competitive and worried I was going to cheat on him because he wasn't "interesting enough" in his eyes. We broke up because he was unable to communicate with me clearly about what he wanted and when I actually initiated the break up, he clung on even more for 2 months and became very controlling, which was really unlike him..I think at that point we were critically competitive and in a nasty cycle of he assumed i'd read his mind and know what he needed/wanted and also depended on me for his self worth. this was suffocating to say the least. I dont think his te function has been developed at all, where as I have a higher te function as being a single mother. Out of nessecity!

    Also I agree with the "it" factor, it was missing for me in this relationship. I lusted after him, I cared for him and we made Great sexual partners and friends, but i do not miss him now- i feel mostly relieved i have my personal space at home in order to reflect on all my outside interactions.... He was In love with me, and had a burning desire for me, and I just didn't have that for him. Not sure if thats INFP related or just a one off experience. I felt really bad breaking up for him but you can't manufacture feelings for someone and as an ENFP when I do feel "it" i feel it!!

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