yes but what is often on my mind has very little to do with my actual life. I hate in class first day having to introduce yourself, I'm like uuuuh their's really not much I could say about myself.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I had to do all of that this term when I started college lol The only stuff about my life I can share is too off the wall for most of them to deal with, so I mostly just let them do the talking.
I am pretty much an open book..with certain though very few chapters yanked out and put in a vault. If certain topics come up, I'll change the subject and ask about the other person instead. If I feel I can trust them and it is a one on one conversation, they might get a glimpse, or more, depending on who they are.
Yeah, actually. There are certain self-perceptions that I refuse to share. To me, it's analogous to the whole "core of values" thing. I'm very open about myself up until a point, beyond which people are not allowed!
re kyuuei, Sytpg, FantailedWall, BerberElla, Amargith, and others
I can be so personal, and yet in a way that's so direct that it's not personal at all.
As a matter of retaining a sense of dignity in the face of things about me I'm not comfortable with, I can't just hide stuff away because it would be a liability. People would find out, and it feels yucky to keep a secret. So I bite the bullet and trade the liability of a part of me for the isolation of the whole of me, because between social bonds and self bonds, I'll take the self bonds, and preserve my sense of self-integrity. Of course, it doesn't really solve anything in reality because I'm still keeping a secret but am pretending not to. Instead of hiding the fact, I'm quite enthusiastically hiding the shame I feel about it. But it can't disappear. What I hide from myself only becomes projected, and I expect to be rejected or turned away for what I say, again, because of my OWN perceptions which I don't recognize. That's why it has to appear as such an either-or choice between self and others. It's very dishonest, and is hardly self-integrity, despite my efforts. It's a stoical-like movement, I think.