As an INFP, I think too much I'm guessing or maybe hoping that I've managed to think myself into a corner and am missing something obvious.
With that said, I don't mean this to sound like a feel sorry thread. I'm just looking for some different views on the topic.
So I get the whole complementary type theory, like ISFP/ESTJ, making the best pairing. But I've also found that the world tends to design for the majority. It's possible that the complementary theory works well with SP/SJ types, but is not blanket rule for all personalities.
I find SPs fun to hang out with, and then tend to be able to pause my endless thinking for a bit so I can just have a little fun. But beyond that, there isn't much connection because they don't seem to get me. There ends up not being enough depth for anything serious.
SJs generally like me and I think often confuse me with an SP, thinking that there isn't a storm behind the calm they see. I respect and get along with them, although they tend to think there is something broken about me that they need to fix.
According to the theory, NTs should be the best match. I suppose my longest relationship was an NT, but I always struggled with the coldness that I felt. She was an INFJ, so maybe if she was an ENFJ it would have been different. But I have to wonder why the lack of NTs in my life.
That leaves NFs. I only learned about personality types in the past few years, so I didn't know this while they were happening, but it seems that the closest past relationships I've had have been either INFPs or ENFPs.
Only the INFPs turned into full relationships. The ENFPs seemed to do a better job of encouraging communication. But in all of the cases, there seemed to be some situation that got in the way. If we got past whatever situation in the beginning, it came back to bite later. But sadly, without some sort of situation going on, we don't seem to meet and get close in the first place.
So this has left me thinking that it really shouldn't be this difficult. If it is, the maybe something else is going on. Which leads me to my latest idea on why this may be happening.
What if INFPs are meant to be a catalyst for other relationships, but are not meant to engage themselves? This sounds really dire if you look at it from an individual level, but stepping back and looking at this from a species, maybe it makes sense. It certainly would explain why something that should be a natural process would be so insanely difficult.
I told you I think too much.