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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by saxman View Post
    Reading more of the comments, I guess I can see why I arrived at the theory, but that it is probably an oversimplification of the complex nature of human relationships. At least it is thought provoking.

    I wonder why I haven't run into many ENFJs. I had a friend who was INFJ, and we got along pretty well, although I can completely understand the passivity/assertiveness issue. E types almost always end up finding me, so maybe I should be saying I haven't had many ENFJs run into me.

    One thing I've noticed I do sometimes is mimic other personality types. If I'm around someone else, I'll start picking up their mannerisms and ways of handling situations. Sometimes that will help with meeting other people, although they eventually get confused when the real me comes out. It's like what friends often say... just be yourself, except more assertive, and more outgoing, and less emotional, ...
    The NP factor, allows us to blend in on conscious and subconscious levels, especially due to the influence of intuitive Ne. This could account for why INFPs even question their own type. Its interesting the balance, the utility of becoming whatever you wish at the expense of confusing others and yourself of your true self.

  2. #32
    Junior Member saxman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    This is a very interesting way of suggesting that we are good with dealing with emotions when they are someone else's, but not so consistent at confronting and dealing with our own feelings.
    That is an interesting way of looking at this. I think that is very true.

  3. #33
    it's a nuclear device antireconciler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by saxman View Post
    Ok, I'm not willing to give up on the theory that easily.

    ... if an INFP is simply supposed to be a catalyst for other relationships, and maybe write cool poetry and love songs, then maybe it's ok.
    You can find out quickly if you have a type ... do you WANT to have a type? If so, you do. Because what you're saying is that you want someone to be able to love you and appreciate you for who you are (that's half of it) and that's hardly difficult, and that you want to love someone and appreciate them for who they are. But if you wanted to, what could stop you?

    Another way to think about it: saying that INFPs are just good for catalyzing other relationships makes it sound like INFP's are good at being martyrs. Do you think martyrs have any good advice when it comes to relationships? Someone who sacrifices themselves has nothing of value to add to a discussion about communication, which requires two parties, because someone who sacrifices themselves wouldn't know anything about that. All they know is one party, their own. As soon as they entered communication, their sacrifice would remove them from it.

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Any type works with any type.
    Really is some truth to that. It's amazing how different people can be and you can still develop feelings for them. I think people can get stuck on soulmate theory, always looking for the perfect person who never comes in part because it can support our ability to fantasize about ourselves as special. It lets us idolize ourselves.
    ~ a n t i r e c o n c i l e r
    What is death, dies.
    What is life, lives.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by saxman View Post
    Hi everyone!

    As an INFP, I think too much I'm guessing or maybe hoping that I've managed to think myself into a corner and am missing something obvious.

    With that said, I don't mean this to sound like a feel sorry thread. I'm just looking for some different views on the topic.

    So I get the whole complementary type theory, like ISFP/ESTJ, making the best pairing. But I've also found that the world tends to design for the majority. It's possible that the complementary theory works well with SP/SJ types, but is not blanket rule for all personalities.

    I find SPs fun to hang out with, and then tend to be able to pause my endless thinking for a bit so I can just have a little fun. But beyond that, there isn't much connection because they don't seem to get me. There ends up not being enough depth for anything serious.

    SJs generally like me and I think often confuse me with an SP, thinking that there isn't a storm behind the calm they see. I respect and get along with them, although they tend to think there is something broken about me that they need to fix.

    According to the theory, NTs should be the best match. I suppose my longest relationship was an NT, but I always struggled with the coldness that I felt. She was an INFJ, so maybe if she was an ENFJ it would have been different. But I have to wonder why the lack of NTs in my life.

    That leaves NFs. I only learned about personality types in the past few years, so I didn't know this while they were happening, but it seems that the closest past relationships I've had have been either INFPs or ENFPs.

    Only the INFPs turned into full relationships. The ENFPs seemed to do a better job of encouraging communication. But in all of the cases, there seemed to be some situation that got in the way. If we got past whatever situation in the beginning, it came back to bite later. But sadly, without some sort of situation going on, we don't seem to meet and get close in the first place.

    So this has left me thinking that it really shouldn't be this difficult. If it is, the maybe something else is going on. Which leads me to my latest idea on why this may be happening.

    What if INFPs are meant to be a catalyst for other relationships, but are not meant to engage themselves? This sounds really dire if you look at it from an individual level, but stepping back and looking at this from a species, maybe it makes sense. It certainly would explain why something that should be a natural process would be so insanely difficult.

    I told you I think too much.
    BS.

    There is somebody for everybody, INFPs can just never make up their minds and when they do always seem to make weird choices (One of my best friends is an INFP)

    Relations between Psychological ("personality") Types

    I 100% am sold on the socionics theory of relationships and their relations of duality truly are an amazing pair.

  5. #35
    Member hopeseed's Avatar
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    I think it's harder to find companionship as an INF. Honestly, I think there are many reasons. Perhaps it is the need for deep connection and not everyone in the world seeks that as earnestly or passionately as INF types. Also maybe INFís expect a lot (hey we have a lot to give) Itís the idealism thingÖI know Iím generalizing, thatís what typologyís all about. Ok forgive me, but I really think that INFís are also rare people and highly individualistic in many waysÖso itís a tall order to fill. I think when we do find the right person, itís the most deeply romantic love story. I tend to think other INFís are good for each other if some other compatibility is there to.
    Out beyond idea's of rightdoing and wrongdoing, there is a field, I'll meet you there. ~Rumi

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopeseed View Post
    I think it's harder to find companionship as an INF. Honestly, I think there are many reasons. Perhaps it is the need for deep connection and not everyone in the world seeks that as earnestly or passionately as INF types. Also maybe INFís expect a lot (hey we have a lot to give) Itís the idealism thingÖI know Iím generalizing, thatís what typologyís all about. Ok forgive me, but I really think that INFís are also rare people and highly individualistic in many waysÖso itís a tall order to fill. I think when we do find the right person, itís the most deeply romantic love story. I tend to think other INFís are good for each other if some other compatibility is there to.
    INFs are very much romantic idealists and the rarity of the type, combined with the desire for a deep connection, can make it seem like there is no one, but its worth it, as you say when INFs find the right person, its like a story itself. .

  7. #37
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    Maybe the problem with INFP's is that we took on too much of others and have forgotten how to truly be ourselves. Maybe we need to clean out the traits of others and be ourselves again, because when I read about my type, I always know I can be that way, but I keep forgetting. The few times when I am myself completely, I just know that I have no problems with anything. Perhaps that is the purpose of INFP, to take on every type in order to work out every problem possible in their types, so that we can overcome anything, even ourselves, and become the ideal which we strive for. Maybe we just lack this level of maturity, which is why we don't seem so desirable or compatible.

  8. #38
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    This thread is depressing.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #39
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    I have a close INFP friend who had a pretty long and healthy relationship with an ENFJ. It didn't end up working out for whatever reason, but ENFJ is definitely a good match for you. You could also try another INFP--my INFP roommate has an INFP girlfriend and they've been together for years and are perfect for each other.

    According to socionics you should try ESTP. Not sure if I buy into that, really, but at least there's someone else's suggestion.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  10. #40
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lukepd View Post
    BS.

    There is somebody for everybody, INFPs can just never make up their minds and when they do always seem to make weird choices (One of my best friends is an INFP)

    Relations between Psychological ("personality") Types

    I 100% am sold on the socionics theory of relationships and their relations of duality truly are an amazing pair.
    So is it a coincidence that every ISFP girl I meet is kinda cool but not really that attractive to me?
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

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