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  1. #131
    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    INFP's are easily discouraged, often timid and afraid to initiate contact, they take a long time to warm up, and they expect too much from romance which often crushes their precious illusions. It's easy to see why you might think they have no match because the above elements do not make for a person who naturally finds a lot of happiness in love. What's worse is INFP's often get hung up on the idea destiny and can decide they are doomed to walk the earth alone because they are just too different. But the truth is, anyone can love anyone, you just have to make it happen. You can't dream them into your life, you have to put yourself out there.

  2. #132
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheEmeraldCanopy View Post
    If you buy into Socionics, INFp and ESTp are considered Duals, which the theory suggests to be the best relationship for psychological compatibility.

    http://www.socionics.com/rel/dlt.htm
    Interesting. thanks for the link. that explains my relationship with those two friends quite well.

  3. #133
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    Quote Originally Posted by nebbykoo View Post
    Interesting. thanks for the link. that explains my relationship with those two friends quite well.
    Sure I do want to point out that the Socionics and MBTI types are different (being INFP in MBTI doesn't necessarily mean you will be INFp in Socionics, but you can be).


    Conversion:
    http://www.socionics.com/articles/howto.htm
    4w3 sx/sp? INFP, INFp

  4. #134
    Senior Member Sparrow's Avatar
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    Relationship Chart for MBTI types on Socionics.com:

    relationship chart between psychological ("personality") types

    http://www.socionics.com/rel/relcht.htm
    Fe | Ni | Se | Ti ... 3w4 ... Lawful Neutral ... Johari -Nohari

  5. #135
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I meant romantic relationships. You're just talking about STJs as friends, right?
    Yes, friends. However, with male friends there can be that semi-romantic tinge. I think STJs & NFPs can be really stubborn, especially if we're talking male STJs & female NFPs. This is fine if you're on the same side, but when you oppose each other.... That's why it probably works well for some & not so well for others, like any match, but almost exaggerated.

    I think I'm drawn to ENFJs because you can have the same "us against the world" dynamic that is appealing in an elitist sort of way, but there's a compromising in conflict stemming from both desiring the win-win. The INFP may not always feel like they are the one who has to yield, or that they have to go on a value crusade to be heard.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    I think INFPs should appreciate what's there in relationships rather than what's not. See the person in front of them as a whole, full-blooded person instead of a piece to fit into their ideal or their vision or their fantasy.
    That's nice in theory....but will we really ever learn? :P
    Seriously though, then comes the issue of accepting the person as-is once you see them outside of the ideal you've fitted them into.

    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    For whatever reason, INxP women often are often more dominant than their male counterparts.
    I've noticed this about INFP women also, compared to INFP men. I wonder if it's the gender expectations thing....and how that affects male INFP's self-esteem.

    Quote Originally Posted by nebbykoo View Post
    I dated an ENFJ for a while, and the compatability was great. I was so impressed by her warmth towards everyone. She really nurtures other people, and is enthusiastic and warm. We're still really good friends.
    Man, I was rooting for you guys. JoSunshine's relationship is my new beacon of hope. No pressure, JoSunshine...

    I have always gotten along well with ESTPs. Two of my best friends are something like that type (I'm talking 'bromance' lol; we got along that well). We seem to have a natural compatability and attraction. For years I didn't know why, but then it occured to me: we admire things about the other person, things we don't naturally possess.

    I'm a good musician. I have that skill, and both of my ESTP friends were attracted by and admired that about me. I was attracted to their ease with navigating the social world, which is not my forte. they are smooth and charming, and like adventure. We provided a gateway into each other's world.
    If I had used type as a gauge, I might not have chosen either of them as friends. I would have missed out on so much, and for no reason other than following someone else's definitions.

    So I have determined that true compatability is as much about what is different about people as what is similar. Typing someone tells you nothing about what they have experienced in life, how much heart they have, what their personal code or beliefs are, etc. There is so much more going on than is codified by four little letters.
    I tend to hit it off with ESTPs off the bat if they are the intelligent kind (well, that's true of any type). I sometimes think they can spell DEATH for INFPs though; if you get swept away by them, they can manipulate you to compromise your ideals. Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything... :cough:
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  6. #136
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Yes, friends. However, with male friends there can be that semi-romantic tinge. I think STJs & NFPs can be really stubborn, especially if we're talking male STJs & female NFPs. This is fine if you're on the same side, but when you oppose each other.... That's why it probably works well for some & not so well for others, like any match, but almost exaggerated.
    Yeah I kind of like men who are stubborn, honestly. Though I'd be afraid I'd get bored with an ISTJ...I think SFJ men have more of a common ground with me through being feelers, even though SFJ men act far more masculine usually than one would think, and their behavior is a bit different from SFJ women. I have this whole theory that I need to be with someone more "grounded" (S or T) than me but who also has at least one letter in common with me (N or F). Which is where I decided that SFs and NTs are probably my best matches, because bizarrely enough that's also what I seem to be attracted to anyway.

    I'll see my way out of the INFP match thread now. Sorry for any disturbance.

  7. #137
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheEmeraldCanopy View Post
    What does Fi look like to non-INFPs? How is it experienced?
    I use it all the time, so I have no idea how to answer.. I am probably the most emotionally subjectively valued person I know.

  8. #138
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Only a minute, eh?
    You caught me...more like 4 months

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    The INFP may not always feel like they are the one who has to yield, or that they have to go on a value crusade to be heard.
    This seems to be something he likes about me. He says I'm understanding and listen to him...he also like that I pay attention to him and am affectionate. For me, it's so nice to finally be in a relationship with someone who I feel is as willing to do as much for me as I am for him. I don't feel in danger of being used and abused by him...it's so nice.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Man, I was rooting for you guys. JoSunshine's relationship is my new beacon of hope. No pressure, JoSunshine...
    I'm rooting for us too! I really want to keep this one...I hope he decides to keep me too!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
    Intuitive (N) 65.63%..........Sensing (S) 34.38%
    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  9. #139
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Yeah I kind of like men who are stubborn, honestly. Though I'd be afraid I'd get bored with an ISTJ...I think SFJ men have more of a common ground with me through being feelers, even though SFJ men act far more masculine usually than one would think, and their behavior is a bit different from SFJ women. I have this whole theory that I need to be with someone more "grounded" (S or T) than me but who also has at least one letter in common with me (N or F). Which is where I decided that SFs and NTs are probably my best matches, because bizarrely enough that's also what I seem to be attracted to anyway.
    I actually feel something similar, but tend translate it into a preference for Js & Es. I feel like I need someone with more "structure" and someone more outgoing, who navigates the social world more easily. Although I do love me an introvert.... I think I've mentioned before that I have some premonition of ending up with an ISTJ, which is probably why the horror stories really chill me....

    I'm only wary of SFJs as the two matriarchs of my family are those types; I fear marrying someone who reminds me of my mom or grandma, but in male form.... SPs make great friends, but I always feel like I'm playing the "J", and I don't want to be the structured one - way too much energy required. I begin to resent it.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  10. #140
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    I as an INFP male am certainly not a very dominant type, but I am not submissive either. If there is something I really don't want to do then ten horses don't get me doing it. I think stereotypes of male INFPs are overly negative.

    Interesting that people say ENFJ would be ideal. I cannot recall having even ever met an ENFJ, or if I did, I was probably never really close to that person then because I cannot remember such a person.

    In general I have my thoughts about what types seem to be most interesting to me / I felt most symphathy for in the past, but I guess in the end it depends on the individual anyway.

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