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[INFP] Could INFPs lack a compatible type?

Rebe

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I'm LMAO right now because on another board there are INFPs discussing how dating/being married to an ISTJ gave them PTSD :rofl1:

is it wrong to laugh?

:yim_rolling_on_the_ It seems to be a common coupling - no idea why.

That's very well said. I can see how you'd do well with an INFP. Many of us are looking for someone to take with us into our inner worlds, but it's hard to find people who want to take the journey.

What inner world? Can you describe/specify that? I'm, personally, interested in someone who'd understand how my inner world shapes my external world and my external desires and goals. The worse thing for me will be to stick myself deeper into my inner world. I need to make myself applicable.

Off on a random thought, I couldn't see myself with a dominant-ish type. I need someone laid-back and non-judgmental, someone who will let me do my thing without being all like you're wasting your time/you should be doing this and this instead. But at the same time, I want someone who's interested in what I am doing with my life and who I am as a person and we can share ideas, without being just 'that's cool. good job. am i making dinner or are you?' that's not a lot to ask...
 

Synapse

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Th statement does sound strange...Could and Lack...and Compatible.

When you are focusing on what you do lack in your life then you are lacking. When you are focusing on what you want to expand on in your life than you are expanding. A closed book or an open book?

Compatible is a comparison term like competition, then the strangeness of the term compatible feels that we need to be in survival mode to compete with our lack in order to stay empty...which sounds wrong don't you think. And hence why do we want to be compatible with anyone if we are afraid to be compatible with ourselves first? Feels like then we are wanting to adapt to change to other people rather than being authentic. And then compatibility is a none issue. Hahha thinks of combat boots strangely.
 

Aleksei

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I think Socionics is useful here, but it is necessary to get your type right before it can be. Generally speaking, INFPs are INFj in Socionics (which would make their most compatible type ESTj -- ESTP or ESTJ in MBTI), but some are INFp or INTp, which would make their dual type respectively ESTp (ENTJ), or ESFp (generally ESFJ).
 
A

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Are any types compatible? Isn't love a choice? If half the world divorces, then half the world is INFP? lolz, no. Let's face it, when the INFP breaks down and loves something, it's as imperfectly perfect as anything could be. Yes, as imperfect as the INFP. The INFP sees whatever the INFP wants to see (typically through rose-colored glasses). What the INFP likes, the INFP puts up on a pedastal and works hard to keep it there if mutual. The INFP doesn't force people into anything; though we understand the power of persuasion over time. The fact that the INFP doesn't typically commit to worldy standards, rules or schedules (though we respect differences), it doesn't mean the INFP is incompatible. It just means simply this, "what's all the fuss for?" No worries. So, the world doesn't wait for the INFP. So what! It doesn't mean we're incompatible with all other types.
 

Aleksei

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Are any types compatible? Isn't love a choice?
Actually, yes and no, respectively. Compatibility theories don't work for MBTI, but they do, I find, quite beautifully for Socionics (dual isn't your only choice though). As for love, it's the result of a flood of endorphins. It isn't possible to choose who we fall in love with, or whom we're attracted to.
 

skylights

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Moiety said:
I think deep down inside, every INFP knows they are the bees knees. (this is not an attempt at kissing your ass btw)

IMO the potential problem in relationships for INFP, might not be finding people that give them the kind of love they need, but knowing how to fully love themselves first, so that afterwards someone else can. So the essential self-love part of relationship is the crux of the dilemma for the INFPs that have trouble with love.
:yes:

thirded.

and actually, that's kind of a fascinating point in reference to the thread title, because unless you allow yourself to be loved, you're not going to be compatible with anyone.
 

Lexan

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What if INFPs are meant to be a catalyst for other relationships, but are not meant to engage themselves?

That is an interesting idea. tbh, i think there some INFPs who are in fact not even engaged and/or engaging enough to act as a catalyst for other relationships... I know I'm not ....

INFPS dislike assertiveness

I don't dislike assertiveness.
 

digesthisickness

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the ones i've known aren't easy to push around. also, from what i've ascertained, even when it looks like they're being pushed, it's only because they decided that it's okay in that instance. which isn't being pushed around.
 

capslock

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the ones i've known aren't easy to push around. also, from what i've ascertained, even when it looks like they're being pushed, it's only because they decided that it's okay in that instance. which isn't being pushed around.

I see what you mean.:yes:
 

Adasta

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I find all this talk about INFPs and their lack of assertiveness to be very odd. Maybe there's some confusion between leadership and assertiveness endemic in these definitions?

Regarding leadership: I don't mind being a leader, but I'm usually more open to someone else being a leader (usually an Extroverted type) because I can accept that not only will be s/he be good in that role, but s/he will enjoy it more than I will. I have no pride/ego issues in that regard. However, I have no problem being assertive when assertions need to be made. In fact, I have frequently been accused of being bolshy because I'm so obstinate about things when I feel forced to go so far as to speak out against something.

the ones i've known aren't easy to push around. also, from what i've ascertained, even when it looks like they're being pushed, it's only because they decided that it's okay in that instance. which isn't being pushed around.

This is quite accurate. A lot of the time "leaders", for want of a better term, revel in their role and, as such, develop a degree of pomposity due to their role. I'm unlikely to speak out against this, because it's simply easier "to go with the flow". However, is such egoism gets to the point of being a corrupting force, or undermining the goals/aspirations of the group, then I am likely to say something.
 

JoSunshine

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Hummm...I was talking to my "INFP" last night and he told me that he took the Myers-Briggs test (years ago) and was actually an "ISFP"...wha????? He seems so INFP! So I guess take everything I said in this topic and change "INFP" to "ISFP". :)
 

skylights

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Adasta said:
I find all this talk about INFPs and their lack of assertiveness to be very odd [...] I have no problem being assertive when assertions need to be made.

i think the bold is part of why. NFPs just don't see the need to make assertions as much as Fe and Te types do, plus INFPs are usually fairly quiet. others mistake this as the INFP not speaking up even though they want to, because others would want to speak up in that situation. they're wrong, of course, in that an INFP might very well not want to say anything, and that's why they're not saying anything. it's misread as lack of assertiveness.
 

KDude

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(That last one is Socionics, so be sure you are still an INFP under that system.) The problem is that all four types are pretty dominant, so it can be pretty easy to get steamrolled by any one of them. However, if you are able to hold your own with them, the dynamic can be pretty amazing.

Slight derail, but actually, ESTps are potentially needy in socionics. It's said that they may often try to find confirmation on the status of their relationships. The kind of person who needs someone to tell them they're great, that they love them a lot. They are not the strongest F types obviously, but they do value partners who are vocal and expressive with their emotions (Fe in socionics). You've seen these type of boyfriends or girlfriends out there. Very much extroverted, active, confident sensor types, but in relationships they could be the attention hungry one, asking "Baby, do you love me?" every couple of hours. Heh. The only steamrolling quality about them is that they may push and create situations to get attention with people (which could be positive or negative. I mean, take Madonna for example. She uses her drive and need for attention in a creative, performing sense. Perhaps an ESTP in a workplace would do something similar in how they get a project rolling. They're just kind of take charge and loud like that. It has nothing to do with demeaning others though. INFPs don't need to worry about them).

That said, their dual is an INFp, but more than likely, MBTI INFPs aren't socionics INFps. I think they're INFJs much of the time. Some could be INFPs, but it seems to me that the MBTI INFPs are a little more in their own world in comparison. Time and again, I hear them talk about not being very expressive or proactively sociable with people. That's probably more like the socionics INFj, a Fi type (and in that case, the dynamic with their ESTj dual is entirely different).
 

Uytuun

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I love INFP males and they seem to dig me too. Without a doubt the type that's most consistently attracted to me.
 
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