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  1. #61
    Glycerine
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    I meant about the nonchalant thing. Ex. I can see that a person is greatly hurting emotionally. I sometimes will pretend I don't notice it and act completely oblivious to it but deep down, I really feel for them. For the longest time, my family thought I was a T.

  2. #62
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IDK123 View Post
    I meant about the nonchalant thing. Ex. I can see that a person is greatly hurting emotionally. I sometimes will pretend I don't notice it and act completely oblivious to it but deep down, I really feel for them. For the longest time, my family thought I was a T.
    Same here.

    The need to absolve or overlook others' humiliations is pretty strong.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  3. #63
    Senior Member mwv6r's Avatar
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    I've posted about my darling little ENFJ female student before -- she was bubbly, vivacious, and overflowing with Fe.

    I've also had one male ENFJ student in my three years of teaching. Like the female ENFJ, he was quick-witted, charming, loquacious, and a natural leader (easily the top student in the class). He also cried easily like she did (it was first grade, so there was quite a bit of crying anyway, but the ENFJs definitely cried the most, lol). However, his Fe was not developed to nearly the degree that hers was. He had that potential there, but his feeling was largely turned inward and he would become very offended and outraged and perceived slights from his peers, yet in most cases he acted like a bully himself toward the other children. (Of course, this may have been due to upbringing rather than his being a male ENFJ.) I saw a lot of potential in him though and would try to model and talk to him about better civic behavior, and he seemed receptive, yet what they get at home and from neighborhood bullies often overpowers any headway we try to make. <sigh>

    Anyway, I've read that that's sometimes a problem for (some) Fe males is that because society values Thinking in males, they turn their F inward, squandering some of their natural talent as nurturers.

  4. #64
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    I used to get on the verge of tears quite a bit when I was really young but I would never let myself cry. Boys aren't supposed to cry.
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  5. #65
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I'm a girl and I was treated like I shouldn't cry either or even appear upset. Ridiculous.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by hommefatal View Post
    I think male ENFJs are more charming and female ENFJs are more tough.
    Good pt.
    Quote Originally Posted by hommefatal View Post
    Maybe. I was thinking of tough more like 'bitchy' and men "shouldn't be" bitchy.
    Again, good pt.

    Many have said similar, but in my own words...

    Female vs. Male ENFJs:
    Both try to be "ideal" in terms of traditional gender roles. Both get angry and resent this, Often having the opposite effect:

    I think sometimes ENFJ females who are "bitchy" tough have gotten so caught up in trying to please others, they start become rebellious. Fighting back. Trying to gain autonomy. Like saying "F U!" to society's rules about women, or w/e.

    ENFJ males seem to want to fight against societal stereotypes about gender roles, too. May overcompensate for their F at times.

    Notice the emotion behind portrayal #1? heehee.... that wasn't fueled by personal feelings at all.

  7. #67
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    I meant about the nonchalant thing. Ex. I can see that a person is greatly hurting emotionally. I sometimes will pretend I don't notice it and act completely oblivious to it but deep down, I really feel for them. For the longest time, my family thought I was a T.
    I think I meant nonchalant in regards to their own feelings. I don't find ENFJ men as expressive with their feelings as the women might be.

    My family thought I was a T too for a long time, and probably still do
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  8. #68
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    ENFJ lives for the ideal, so all the rules go out the window worse than any other NF, because we want to make new ones.

  9. #69
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    I think the female ones are much sexier than the males.



  10. #70
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    how each acts
    ENFJ=ideally
    ENFP=randomly
    INFJ=spiritually
    INFP=heavenly

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