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  1. #11
    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
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    I don't think that I openly flirt with girls. I would say that I'm more discreet. And that's only if I know for sure they like me too.

  2. #12
    Senior Member paisley1's Avatar
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    Haha, me too, I'd probably decide against flirting en masse, especially with an introverted girl who's on a date and appears to be in a serious relationship. However, I will flirt with highly personable girls, introverted or extroverted, doesn't matter. I use my intuition to figure out if she's going to be personable and easy going so I can let my guard down around her and joke with her, spontaneously, out of the blue. Usually small, intuitive comments about some stupidity around us. Again, only if it's natural, and there's not going to be any harm to my person after the gesture. I read the world around me to make my move, and time it correctly.

  3. #13
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    Thank you all for responding. I probably won't figure this one out for a while, seeing that I've barely spoken to him and that I gave you all the equivalent of a shadowy police sketch, but my greatest area of difficulty is determining whether certain behaviors are characteristic of one type or another.

    My idea of an INFJ is more resonant with people like quietmusician and skyward: reserved, cautious, and stoic (but with an underlying sweetness). I also know some who are flirtatious in an endearingly nerdy way, but not so much in a direct way. Perhaps I've just determined these people to be INFJs and overlooked the INFJs who don't conform to this description. Ahh, stereotyping.

    The whole difference between Socionics and MBTI is also difficult for me to wrap my brain around. I'm used to looking for outward expressions of from INFJs and not . This is one aspect of Socionics that I prefer over MBTI: the functions are more clearly delineated and discrete (read: ENFP and INFJ have complementary functions, not ENFP and INFP), so the types are easier to identify. But what do I know?

    Happy trails!

  4. #14
    Senior Member Alpha Prime's Avatar
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    Want my advice? Here it is anyway :P

    It seems to me that you're spending more time trying to type him than getting to know him. Try the latter instead. If you're compatible, good! No? Well, then it doesn't even matter what "type" he is.
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  5. #15
    Senior Member IEE623's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by curiousjane View Post
    The whole difference between Socionics and MBTI is also difficult for me to wrap my brain around. I'm used to looking for outward expressions of from INFJs and not . This is one aspect of Socionics that I prefer over MBTI: the functions are more clearly delineated and discrete (read: ENFP and INFJ have complementary functions, not ENFP and INFP), so the types are easier to identify. But what do I know?

    Happy trails!
    INFJs in MBTI are not necessarily INFj in Socionics. INFJs in MBTI use Ni as dominant functions and Fe as auxiliary function while INFjs in Socionics use Fi as base functions and Ne as creative function. Check INFp description in Socionics to see if it's fit, since INFps use Ni-Fe like INFJs do.
    "Adversity makes men, and prosperity makes monsters"

  6. #16
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Lets make him INFJ!

  7. #17
    Senior Member MrME's Avatar
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    I'm not even sure I know how to flirt properly ...
    INFJ
    4w5

  8. #18
    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
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    MrME - I don't think I know either. Like I said above, I guess I could call my behavior discreet because I don't try to flirt. I've had people tell me that I'm flirting when I'm just being friendly and warm. So no, I don't have any "game" or whatever, lol.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    I'm an INFJ and I definitely do the staring thing. I don't usually realize that I'm doing it until the person sees me and noticies and then it is kind of embarrassing. If he is staring at you that much, then he definitely likes you. I would take the first step - he might never do anything because he is too shy.

  10. #20
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I'm not a male and am a borderline E/INFJ, but I feel the need to clarify some points.

    1. No way am I talking to you first if I really like you. I'll be too shy to do it and will be spending all my time sizing you up and trying build up the courage just to walk past you without visibly shaking/sweating/freaking out.

    If I think you might be easy to blow smoke on, I may tease you first, after determining that you'd rather die than look at me - that's strictly reserved for the INTPs. I want to see if you have any fight in you. I won't have you receding from me. You better look at me before I eat you.

    If you're ENTP, you will already have flipped me on my shell and will be tugging, biting, poking, taunting me. I won't have to make the first move. You will tell me that I'm your girl now and I best accept it, and I'll say "You're right" and you'll say brightly "Well, of course I am!"

    2. I don't "flirt" if I'm already interested in someone. With the girls, chatting each other up is a matter of bonhomie, camaraderie and a display of affection. I like to joke and kid around and goodness knows, Fe is like a man-eating vine when it's feeling frisky, but I don't pit men against each other for my amusement or to suit my ego. Yes, I want him to myself, but not at the expense of my self-respect. Either he's with me or he isn't. I had a date practically lean across the table to flirt with our waitress once and it really killed me. What an immature stupid thing to do.

    3. The "E" doesn't mean you're more outgoing, louder, wilder, or more inclined to talk. It just doesn't. It means Fe comes first. That's it. My INFJ father is frequently found at the center of things cracking jokes and being social. Perhaps paradoxically, I hold back a lot, and might not ever have blossomed if not raised with my ENFP sister or my ESFP and ENTJ best friends.

    4. EVERYONE does the staring thing.

    5. EVERYONE finds their groove ultimately. You'll gain your cadence if you want to be in sync with the object of your affection. Otherwise, what's the point.
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