So unusual to hear ENFJ's discussing their shadow side...
I have had a few serious relationships with ENFJ's, but they always end badly or very abruptly and I hate it!
The chemistry between me (entp) and enfj is usually very strong. I see what Kalach has mentioned and also the flip side. Sometimes I feel that enfj's are just so eager to find the negative in things and situations at times. I dont' know if they feel threatened by something in the relationship, but I do wish I could understand this issue better.
The last guy I knew (enfj) just worked with me on such a great, intuitve and intellectual level. I miss him, but I knew I had to move on bec. he was older and in a different place in his life. He loved me..I am sure of that, but he was such a fatalist and envious sort. I started seeing someone just platonicly at first and he just went ape*hit!! I have never witnessed such a distorted emotional mess. He just abandoned me and I consider him quite the coward for not talking to me. The strange thing is that he was the one who ALWAYS wanted to talk immediately after any issue cropped up. I laugh at this, because it was always me before this.
Can an enfj explain to me what may have happened? I still think and feel about him, but I know I have to let it go completely. I now am getting to know an ISFJ and he is just great to me, but the chemistry is so different!