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  1. #41
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpottingTrains View Post


    The worst part for me is that no matter how much you prepare for it you still can't do anything to avoid it.
    You can say, "Ok, I'm not going to freeze up, they are just screwing around" but the same thing still happens.
    Yes! This! It's automatic, isn't it! I feel it coming on like a sneeze and I can't throw the brakes on.

    I just can't disassociate myself from what they say quick enough.
    I can't believe it - you understand the Freeze Up. Wow. I try to explain it, but I never articulate it well enough. I told my sister that I CAN'T make something not hurt or option to not care. Everything affects me. It goes into me like a bullet and clearly you can't unshoot yourself. It takes x-amount of time to walk it off and purge myself of it too which is frustrating. I find I resent people sometimes because if they're toxic or careless, I'll be paying for it later, not them.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  2. #42
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    It goes into me like a bullet and clearly you can't unshoot yourself.
    Best. Analogy. Ever.

    It takes x-amount of time to walk it off and purge myself of it too which is frustrating.
    Yeah, I find it really depends on the situation and tone they said it in. Even the smallest thing will take some time and the bigger ones *a lot* longer.

  3. #43
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I talk about it with my ENTP friends, deeply wish for their ability to dismiss. They just listen and then tell me that living in my brain, with storms rolling through and then clearing, must be some kind of hell. My ISTP bff used to tell me that he loved me because I always cared, but it was too much and he wished I could shut it off to save myself.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #44
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    :Sigh: Yeah, I know what you mean but at the same token when I think about not having that instant shock to what people say I would think it would influence how I would treat people. A curse and a gift I like to think of it

    Both of my best friends are ENTJ's and one of them even has ADD as a kicker. Being with them is an experience I must tell you lol.

  5. #45
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Get outta town. I have an ENTJ bff too! A girl, even. Only one of two ENTJ chicks I know. They make great company.


    I know I wouldn't want to change the Shock Factor. Mine's just a bit scalded right now. *pushes at it*
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #46
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    I was wondering how you deal with it all, how do you actually regenerate fully after getting "slapped"? I tried to express how I do it in the second half of my post in this thread: http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...us-why-35.html , but I don't know if this is he best way to actually deal with it. Who knows, meh.

    edit: link was wrong :X

  7. #47
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpottingTrains View Post
    I was wondering how you deal with it all, how do you actually regenerate fully after getting "slapped"?
    I have to find a "safe" place/person. We were once watching some documentary about tiger cubs at a zoo. One cub in particular was a total handful, brash, getting into everything. My sister said, "That one is YOU." I laughed. Then a few scenes later, he gets too close to an adult who pretty much gets the baby's whole head in his mouth. The baby was unhurt, but he immediately fled to his handler and crushed himself up against the guys legs looking for reassurance. Many pats and head rubs and reassurances that everything is okay, and the baby recovered himself, started nosing into things again. My sister looked over, said, "That's so you it's scary."

    I have to have time to reboot. It usually requires being able to get myself away to be alone, or if someone is there, I can break down around them without repercussion. After a particularly nasty shock, I have to have time to circle the source of the antagonism and reach equilibrium, or have a safe person (or handler) show me the thing that set me off and help me cope with it, or show me ways to avoid another nasty shock like it.

    If I'm alone, I walk. A lot. For me, it helps to listen to "my" music, like the Clash, while I'm walking or pacing. It's a safe place. Forcing my feelings to right themselves before they're ready is a huge mistake.

    I tried to express how I do it in the second half of my post in this thread () but I don't know if this is he best way to actually deal with it. Who knows, meh.
    I don't know if there IS a good way of handling it. I think we're in a unique position of having our internal organs on the outside of our bodies without the shielding and "power to the ground" of Si. I think ESFJs have a leg up on us in that area.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  8. #48
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    Yeah, I mislinked the thread in my earlier post.
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ell-us-why-35.

    But yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me what you just said. I think my problem is that I don't have people to really breakdown near so I have to figure out different ways to go about it. I blame the tech school I am going to for draining my soul

  9. #49
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpottingTrains View Post
    Yeah, I mislinked the thread in my earlier post.
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ell-us-why-35.
    That link didn't work either ahee... But I know which post you mean, I think!

    From a male perspective this is one of the toughest things for me to deal with. I find that I only internalize the emotions that emotionally damage me, anything else will be shared with joyous abundance I am hoping dealing with these internal emotions will get easier as I mature more (21st birthday approaching). The best solution I have found to do is either A. Do a massive amount of cardio that would make the average person think I had a pack of swooning lepers chasing after me or B. Take a bath, turn of the lights and just go through every emotion, this isn't anything dark or evil, just a realization of all the emotions I have internalized. I guess this all comes back to the whole thing about ENFJs not being able to open up themselves to others. Quoting runvardh from one of the first posts in this thread: "It's a real pain in the ass to show them that yes you really do give a shit, 100 fucking %". No one has been able to convince me of that yet.
    I do both A and B (those lepers sure do run fast). I find myself processing over and over the morass of feeling when I'm doing something like showering or getting ready for bed. I set up the sensation (isolated from it's friends for dissection) in various scenarios to see if it sounded or felt any different. I do probably cry out my frustrations way more than my male counterpart, but I like to do this alone where no one can get at me. I don't like people to know that I've been crying for some reason.

    I've reached 31 and I'm still coming to terms with both the ups and the downs of my blowtorch personality type.


    But yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me what you just said. I think my problem is that I don't have people to really breakdown near so I have to figure out different ways to go about it. I blame the tech school I am going to for draining my soul
    Tech school killed my entire fambly.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #50
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I do both A and B (those lepers sure do run fast). I find myself processing over and over the morass of feeling when I'm doing something like showering or getting ready for bed. I set up the sensation (isolated from it's friends for dissection) in various scenarios to see if it sounded or felt any different. I do probably cry out my frustrations way more than my male counterpart, but I like to do this alone where no one can get at me. I don't like people to know that I've been crying for some reason.
    Thanks, that makes a lot of sense

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