The perfectionistic tendencies run deep in ENFJ. They want to keep doing the right thing, so will accept the damage. The shadow is a chance to restore that balance by removing the damage. Not exactly the best way, but effective nonetheless. ENFJ's have a hard time letting go without some form of return to whatever effects them. Their world may seem scary and dark because they build up everything that happens to them till it gets too much to handle. However, they choose to release everything at once to the next occurance. When things get stressful for me, I know I have to release it soon or it will eat at me. I think the difference is that ENFJ's hold it in like INFP's but don't just ignore it or deal with it constructively, trying to think they can handle it. ENFJ's soon learn to like the darkness and live in it, while INFP's in the same dark world try to fight it by accepting it as a part of them and letting it go. INFP's are actually just as dark as ENFJ's, we just try not to change or become the darkness like other types, but live with it as a part of ourselves and try to move on.