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  1. #1
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    Default INFJ in love with INFJ

    Oh, I hope I don't wind up regretting this ... but this is really important to me, so I suppose I should take the plunge ...

    I am a very INFJ male, in love with the first INFJ female contemporary I have ever known well. I also am in a position to develop a relationship with a younger INFP female.

    The INFJ woman and I have been very close friends for some time now. We never took it to a real relationship, though it has been what one could reasonably call "dating."

    I read recently in an MBTI relationships book that it is typical of Apollonians to meet, become friends, and have passion develop very slowly and after-the-fact, as opposed to instant spark.

    Has anyone had such an experience?

  2. #2
    Sniffles
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchAngel View Post
    Has anyone had such an experience?
    Yes. I literally went crazy thinking about the first INFJ woman I ever interacted with on a more personal level. Wasn't really romantic feelings, but it certainly indicated a very deep attachment and affection to her. I swear I never felt that way before in my life!

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    I swear I never felt that way before in my life!
    YES ... exactly!!!

    At first, this seemed a little perverse to me, since she and I are almost twins, so much alike --- a kind of self-love.

    But I am a firstborn and she is a lastborn (very good combination) and we are 8 years apart --- so there is enough difference to keep it interesting ...

    OTOH, this is a first for me --- new emotions. I don't quite know what to do next --- and it isn't my only option, so I'm trying to parse it all very carefully ...

  4. #4
    Sniffles
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    Well in my case, there wasn't too many options for me since she's already married with kids. So she remains a very good friend.

    As I said, my feelings aren't romantic really, but more platonic for a kindred soul. If that makes sense.

  5. #5
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    That makes sense. In my situation, I find the romantic feelings and the friendship feelings equally satisfying, and that's a first for me, too ...

  6. #6
    Member Ethan Bear's Avatar
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    I think You should give it a try
    but thats me

  7. #7
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    Give it a go.

  8. #8
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    You should probably give it a go if you like her enough, and not worry too much about type at this stage. I think the problem with type and relationships is we can sabotage things before they start. Any combination should be able to work in principle.

    That said, for some reason the thought of INFJ/INFJ frightens me a bit (sorry...I've probably just done what I said we shouldn't!) It could be extremely intense, almost too intense. I'd like to date an NF man but would probably prefer him to be an E.

    I have a friend who I've not been in touch with much in recent years, but apparently he is an INFJ, and it seems to fit. If he is I think he'd be the only male INFJ I know. A few of our mutual friends have suggested to me (and maybe to him) that we'd be good together. I'm not attracted to him particularly, but if I were and he was too, I'd be kind of tempted to give it a go...
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  9. #9
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    Aren't we just so lovable?


    Howsoever it turns out, love fearlessly, ArchAngel.
    the formless thing which gives things form!
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    Positive Spin | your feedback welcomed | Darker Criticism

  10. #10
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    I don't think it'll work on me as it lacks of sparks.

    Although for pure friendship, INFJ is the perfect fit for me (my best friend is an INFJ, and we both understand that we need each other's space). That's the good thing about being friends with INJFs as you know what irk them and what not.

    I also agree with Silkroad, I generally prefer ExxPs, though lately I felt INTJ could be an interesting match too.

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