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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I figure this is all part of a balancing system.

    Some posts might be helpful or unhelpful.
    Some, relevant or irrelevant.
    Some might have been helpful if delivered differently, or in a different context; but in the manner or location in which they were offered might have become unhelpful or irrelevant to the expressed need.

    If someone finds a post helpful or relevant, they'll respond to it.
    If not, they'll ignore it.

    Unhelpful and/or irrelevant posts should be ignored rather than engaged.

    (Hmm, bonus question: Wth function am I using now?)

    In that way, the system stabilizes itself...
    I say SP, grab the facts and figure out if it relates to you, if not forget that it exists and fricken live your own life instead of forcing yourself onto others.

  2. #52
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by beyondaurora View Post
    This is going to be difficult for me to articulate, so I apologize in advance.

    I have found recently that I 'feel' a certain way because I should 'feel' that way based on the factors involved in a situation.

    I realize that these 'feelings' are very superficial (hence the apostrophes around the words feel and feelings) and may not truly represent how I indeed feel. Furthermore, I may not even know what I feel.

    Example: My mother was abusive and negligent. My siblings and I were taken away. How do I feel about that?

    The truth is, I don't feel much of anything, but based on the circumstances, if someone asked me how I felt about the situation, I would say 'well, she was abusive and negligent!' as though those factors alone (without any interpretation by me) embody 'feeling'.

    Another example: The man at the Taco Bell at which I regularly frequent calls me 'honey'. He's nearly the same age as I, and I am infuriated (though I never show it) each time he does this. Why?

    Because he has no right to call me honey; I am not in an intimate relationship with him!

    I have begun to think that this is Fe at work (versus Fi). What are your thoughts?
    Didn't read any responses, just wanted to say I feel you on this.

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    I say SP, grab the facts and figure out if it relates to you, if not forget that it exists and fricken live your own life instead of forcing yourself onto others.
    Fe is all about living through others. Your role in life as a dominant perciever is to make their judgements a little more flexible or a little more informed, or humane. If you fail to do this, then why take part of anything anybody ever provides? Become an hermit and be as independent as you please. Don't rely or serve anyone, the world is cruel and it's after you!

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by lorkan View Post
    Fe is all about living through others. Your role in life as a dominant perciever is to make their judgements a little more flexible or a little more informed, or humane. If you fail to do this, then why take part of anything anybody ever provides? Become an hermit and be as independent as you please. Don't rely or serve anyone, the world is cruel and it's after you!
    Exactly, ask for my advice and I will let you know what I think. But I dont ever expect you to think what I think is correct. Dominant perceivers dont like to force advice onto others. You are free to decide yourself why the thread is irrelevant or not, helpful or not. We may explain why we think its irrelevant or not helpful, but usually do not like to come out and flat out say its irrelevant or not helpful.

  5. #55

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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    Exactly, ask for my advice and I will let you know what I think. But I dont ever expect you to think what I think is correct. Dominant perceivers dont like to force advice onto others. You are free to decide yourself why the thread is irrelevant or not, helpful or not. We may explain why we think its irrelevant or not helpful, but usually do not like to come out and flat out say its irrelevant or not helpful.
    Well put.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  6. #56
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    If you don't like that other people appreciates advices or anything (affirming I suppose) and you, overall, don't like telling people what to think, then you certainly have no right to think other people are stupid when you could provide facts that would generate better endresults. And living one's own only life means that you will take only your own ideas, goals, perspective in consideration and you might affect people even if you don't want to realize it. Living through others makes you aware that you never really impose on others in a hostile way (yeah maybe in an annoying way...) and you avoid collision of other individuals interests.

    EDIT: Ehh what the hell. Just assasinate the bastards that annoy you. Way easier then co-operate peacefully and effectively. What is joy? About having a purpose? Nah!...

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by lorkan View Post
    If you don't like that other people appreciates advices or anything (affirming I suppose) and you, overall, don't like telling people what to think, then you certainly have no right to think other people are stupid when you could provide facts that would generate better endresults. And living one's own only life means that you will take only your own ideas, goals, perspective in consideration and you might affect people even if you don't want to realize it. Living through others makes you aware that you never really impose on others in a hostile way (yeah maybe in an annoying way...) and you avoid collision of other individuals interests.

    EDIT: Ehh what the hell. Just assasinate the bastards that annoy you. Way easier then co-operate peacefully and effectively. What is joy? About having a purpose? Nah!...
    Living ones own life does not mean only taking in your ideas, goals, perspectives. It means only controlling your own life. My inferior is Fe so I am aware of living through others, I enjoy helping others, but I will not tell them what to do or what they should do. I may tell them what I would do or explain the consequences, but I will not make a decision, in other words, I will not say "You should do...". That is not who I am. It has nothing to do with giving advice. I was just responding that I thought it was SP and why. We need both P and J, I am not bashing J, it just might have come out a little more blunt than I had thought.

    When I refer to forcing, I know people who will give advice and then get frustrated and annoyed at someone for not taking there advice. They will make comments like, why didnt you take my advice. I will simply reasses based on what happened with whatever path they chose and give new advise. We dont believe in the saying "I told you so", unless it is really provoked.

  8. #58
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    i get called a shape-shifter bc i'm always looking for something new, new perspectives, new cultural responses, new subcultures, new attitudes towards life, the world, etc. i feel like Fe makes us infinitely adaptable and capable of grasping all of the pre-packaged feelings and attitudes and thoughts and orientations living around us.

    i don't know why it gets brushed off as "appropriate" behavior and social "nicety" and "convention." that is an aspect of managing the feelings of others, to some extent, but a misreading of the fact that we perceive the feeling present in others and use our intuition to recognize patterns and larger meanings (extrapolate) within that body of information for our own purposes. we synthesize information in the form of feeling really powerfully, altho we are not tied to any conclusions permanently (neither is life).

    i think infj is the anti-thesis of faith, belief, permanence, etc. Fe forces constant change and evolution and RE-EVALUATION.

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