Two ISFJs. Both dumped me. I idealized them both. Decent enough girls, but didn't work out.
Don't think it's really good for any N to be close to an S, whether as friends or lovers. Too many communication issues. I speak intuitively, they listen literally and misunderstand. They speak literally, I listen intuitively, but I understand. Generally, speaking, no offense to Ss, but they're not the best at deep self-expression. I've also found I have to put the puzzle pieces together for them in that respect.
Dated an ESTP -altogether too superficial, concrete and detached. Not even remotely interested in anything deep unless it was a pool he could swim in. So incompatible it was awful. Yet - they have this allure, male ESTPs. One of the sexiest types I would say.
If there is anyone who is in the sun would you help me to understand? 'Cause I've been caught in between, all you wish for and all you mean. Oh now maybe you're not even sure, what it's for anymore than me...
All the websites say INFJ and ISTJ are the worst possible match... That seems to be affirmed here. I like the relationship I'm in (INTJ) and the ones I've been in (IN F/T J) and I N/S T J. Interesting how similar all of these types are, no?
My INTJ doesn't 'get' me, so meeting all of my emotional needs takes work for him. But, since he's so willing to put in that effort, that's [mostly] okay with me. Though I would just like to feel understood.
I can only speak for myself. My "emotional needs" include my partner letting me in on his true feelings, my partner listening to me and validating my feelings (not just brushing them aside and saying "Don't feel bad. You think too much"), being sensitive enough to my mood changes (so that he can sense if I'm upset without me telling him outright), being interested in how I feel about things and willing to discuss his own feelings about them, and also understanding what I need to feel loved and appreciated
This ^^^^ is why ENTP did NOT work for me in a long term relationship. The ENTP in my case was very invalidating, lacked empathy, could not express emotions, just liked to argue for the sake of arguing and didn't know when to quit. :steam: I wish I had got out earlier.
I think I'm best dating other NFs. I need empathy and understanding. I think I can be more appreciative of them given my past negative experience.
I've dated many types, but I had "long term" relationships with an ESTJ (I think), 2 ESFPs, 2 INTJs, an INTP, and an ESFJ.
ESTJ--He was very much into me. But he put everyone first. And that got old really quick. It took him years to get over me though. ESFJ--He was the same way...but he was more into quality time. Very intune with his N actually. Unfortunately, he was paranoid about my motives. Such as why I didn't hold his hand at work. Um, because it's unprofessional? Plus, I felt like his love for me was insincere. I learned the most from my INTP, however, he would rather lock himself in his room for hours working on robots and porn sites. Lack of quality time. The ESFPs were great...but they have a tendancy to look elsewhere if there are any waves made in the relationship. "The Grass is Always Greener" syndrome, in my case -- which was unfortunate. And ahhhh, the INTJs -- they were like the boys who pick on you in elementary school. I loved them, but god the torment got old. I really have no desire to go back to that anytime soon. It didn't mesh well with my self-esteem.
Sometimes I wonder if I can get along with anyone romantically.
I would rather date a well adjusted polar opposite than date my supposed "ideal match" who was ill adjusted.
Everyone's saying NFs and NTs should not hook up. But I knew an INTJ and INFJ who were happily married. Yes, they had their Logic vs. Emotion moments, but they were more similar than different. I guess, though, being both Ni-doms and INJs helped that.
Wow, sorry for everyone who crashed and burned with an ISTJ. Sadly, I've been down that same road. I was married to an ISTJ for 13 years. Splitting up was devastating for us individually, and as a family.
I didn't know that he was an ISTJ, or that I was an INFJ at the time. Only recently (from studying MBTI) have I realised it. ISTJ, that's him, spot on. Not a good combination.