Could it be that this lack of tendency to keep in touch is not specifically an INFJ thing but actually a cultural thing (a characteristic/symptom of our times)?
People these days (compared to, say, people of a hundred years ago) generally seem to have much looser ties with families, friends, etc. We pretty much accept the idea that people in our lives come and go and we tend not to look back when a person fades out of our lives (that is, if we notice in the first place that the person is gone). The only type of relationship and connection that most people put energy into maintaining are romantic/sexual relationships. That's what I've noticed, at least.
i very much agree and thinks this creates a lot of confusion and problems concerning relationships with others. there is a lack of tendency to keep in touch, but it's labeled as a bad thing, for the wrong reason. it's not the quality, it's the quantity.
my take on it:
in our society and with increasing globalization of... the globe... there are just too many damn people we've convinced ourselves we need to care about and keep in touch with.
I end up feeling guilty about not following through with things like that.
but more and more i've been able to express to those i hold close that not responding immediately or at all via phone, email, facebook, what have you means nothing in comparison to denying someone a response face to face. you know, in real life?
i think this works as an example of what i'm trying to convey about our current culture:
i was intentionally ignored / silent-treatmented by an acquaintance (a classmate i was becoming better friends with) after misplacing my phone and not receiving any calls+messages/texts for a day or two. reunited with my phone i attempted to call/text her and... nope. so a few days later in class i gave her the rundown and told her that was stupid (she said she thought i had some reason to hate her and that was why i hadn't responded) and i told her if i felt that way she could be sure to find out in a much more straightforward manner.
so in regards to
I actually did this just two days ago. I wrote to my old best friend, and I see that she called me, but I haven't listened to her message nor called her back.
i'm in the process of doing this right now.
an oooold friend posted 'hi friend' on my facebook wall.... 4 days ago?
i think i'm semi-paranoid about responding because it might get me involved with meeting up for lunch or some sort of having to schedule something
but also maybe because i feel i should say something meaningful back to her? i mean i don't really know what her intentions are by initiating the dialogue.
can i just say 'hi' back? will she be offended? would that give her a chance to make a less ambiguous response?
should i stop thinking about it and just write something???
oh, i have to go to work --> forget about it for a week or so. remember again and feel guilty but still think of nothing to reply with.
uhhhhhhh yeah...
AHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
