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[MBTI General] Opposites attract?

Jack Flak

Permabanned
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Jul 17, 2008
Messages
9,098
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type
I think this is pure idealism or love of forms. I don't think that you can reduce intro/extroversion to talkativeness,
I tried to explain it using an abstract analogy to avoid claims of "Too specific" like yours here, but you didn't understand and/or like it. So, forgive me for trying to be accomodating--It won't happen again.

END.
 

Magic Poriferan

^He pronks, too!
Joined
Nov 4, 2007
Messages
14,081
MBTI Type
Yin
Enneagram
One
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
That's the last time I try to tell someone their balls are on fire.
 

Insidious 3

New member
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Sep 5, 2008
Messages
18
MBTI Type
INTJ
I'm heavily attracted to ESFP's and ENFP's, so for me opposites do attract, although ESFP's are way too different to myself for a relationship to work properly.

And I'm yet to meet an ENFP that I connect to, but I'm sure I'll find one at some stage.
Hopefully anyway :)
 

Salomé

meh
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Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
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5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I think this is pure idealism or love of forms. I don't think that you can reduce intro/extroversion to talkativeness, but rather on source of energy and how one understands world (internal v. external principles).

The beauty is in its simplicity.
The openness of C, looking for an anchor, the closed nature of O, looking for a harbour. I love it.

And it does incorporate the idea of energy source/exchange with the allusion to chemistry and ionic bonding - opposites attract.....I'm sorry but it is a brilliant analogy. I only wish I'd thought of it myself.

Who cares if it's true? ;)

I don't think the E/I dynamic affects understanding of the world at all (S/N has the strongest role to play with T/F contributing). It affects experience of the world. Two Is limit the range of experiences /opportunities for growth open to a couple. Similarly two Es.

You will find in I-I relationships, the more Extrovert of the two will take on the E role. Long-term I see this as being a strain / drain for someone who is not naturally inclined that way.
 

kiddykat

movin melodies
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
1,111
MBTI Type
ENFP
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4, 7
Goody.. I LOVE these kinds of questions!!

I think, in terms of extroversion/introversion, there is some kind of attraction for me. In fact, all of my good friends are introverts (which leads me to think that I'm introverted, but in reality- i really am not).

I think what attracts me about introverts is that underneath that quiet exterior, there's so much to know about what they have to say.

In fact, of all of my introverted friends, the one's I'm closest to were the ones who first initiated our friendship. They just open up to me quite a bit. My INTP friends tells me it's because I have that something about me that really helps to put her at ease. She literally *spills* her guts to me. I LOVE her for that.

In terms of dating, I tend to not really like introverted guys as much, because they're so hard to talk to, if we're strangers.

Then again, there's this ISTP guy I'm crushing on.. Superfoine.. I LOVE the introverted types who walk like Eeyore. There's something cute about nerdy boys (not the Urkel/Carlton Banks types or the uptight 'accountant' tight-waddies).. the masculine looking ones with glasses. Standing all shy and nerdy like that.. Like Stephen Colbert.. makes me just wanna hit on them.. I just don't have to guts to.

Extraverts are cool.. The ones who are overly hyperly happy.. i mean, bouncing off walls , 24/7 in-your-face types.. wear me out a bit. The ones who are mellow outgoing I tend to get along with. They're outgoing, but not out-of-this world outgoing (if ya know what I'm saaay)..:D
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
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784
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^^ haha...that's a pretty funny post there viv! :D
 

Nillerz

New member
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Messages
391
MBTI Type
ENFP
Introverts are cool because they usually take to the background and provide support while you rally the masses to your command then they feel like they were just a part of something even though you, much like a vampire, sucked all their energy and put it to your uses.
 

kiddykat

movin melodies
Joined
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Messages
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ENFP
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4, 7
Thanks Avery!!

I do love me some nerdy boyz..:nerd:

Pocket genie, do wishes come true??! :laugh:
 
V

violaine

Guest
I don't think the E/I dynamic affects understanding of the world at all (S/N has the strongest role to play with T/F contributing). It affects experience of the world. Two Is limit the range of experiences /opportunities for growth open to a couple. Similarly two Es.

This hasn't been true for me. I've grown a lot through my relationships with fellow Is as have my partners. We've also been all over the place with each other exploring the outside world, definitely not shut away.

You will find in I-I relationships, the more Extrovert of the two will take on the E role...

This has been true ime, and it's worked well. I have stepped into that role as have my partners intermittently but I've thought of it more along the lines of whose area of strength something falls into rather than an I/E divide. I quite enjoy doing things to keep the relationship on track, I don't find it tiring.

Introverts are cool because they usually take to the background and provide support while you rally the masses to your command then they feel like they were just a part of something even though you, much like a vampire, sucked all their energy and put it to your uses.

Er, no. I don't take to the background at all, I just leave, lol. And I never let someone suck my energy.

I guess that's why I usually date other Is... we have similar energies. We come together and it's not draining. I can be around them as much as we both feel like. Not saying some Es can't be like that it's just been more common for me to find that amongst other Is.

The area that I can see I-I having difficulty with is in getting together. It's always interminably drawn out ime, lol. But that has resulted in pretty deep and lasting connections.

There again I am fairly relationship focused and will work on developing relationships. I love an "us against the world" dynamic. I like deep intimacy while not being smothered. So other Is work perfectly for me in that regard. (Of course there is a lot more to it than simply Introversion vs Extroversion.)
 

Jack Flak

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This has been true ime, and it's worked well. I have stepped into that role as have my partners intermittently but I've thought of it more along the lines of whose area of strength something falls into rather than an I/E divide. I quite enjoy doing things to keep the relationship on track, I don't find it tiring.
I dislike being the E, but that's the way it's turned out in my I-I interludes.

It's always interesting to me how people develop traits their company is lacking. If one person's getting all bent out of shape, the other automatically toughens up, when if the "tough" person were with someone extremely stoic, they'd be the one whining.
 
V

violaine

Guest
I dislike being the E, but that's the way it's turned out in my I-I interludes.

It's always interesting to me how people develop traits their company is lacking. If one person's getting all bent out of shape, the other automatically toughens up, when if the "tough" person were with someone extremely stoic, they'd be the one whining.

I think this relates to how I feel I have grown through relationships... I am nearing 'relationship-polymath' by now, lol. I don't want to lose the strengths I've developed either, that's why I don't really want to be too dependent on my partner I guess. I don't care if they're dependent on me though.
 

Lady_X

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yeah...that's really interesting. i've noticed that as well. i think it's just important to be with someone that makes you feel like the best version of yourself and that's hard to do if you're forced to behave in a way that doesn't feel natural.
 
V

violaine

Guest
yeah...that's really interesting. i've noticed that as well. i think it's just important to be with someone that makes you feel like the best version of yourself and that's hard to do if you're forced to behave in a way that doesn't feel natural.

I definitely try to be the best version of myself regardless of my partner, but yes it's nice if they don't take away from that! I really would try not to do something completely unnatural though... I can't really think of a situation where I would feel forced to be unnatural :( (eeps, I think I would completely rebel). I guess about the only thing I seem to find hard to bridge is a pronounced S/N divide in a relationship. I don't mind trying something out for a while though to see if I can develop a facility for it.
 

Lady_X

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^^ oh i wasn't referring to you...it sounds like you do feel natural being a bit more extroverted...i was thinking about how i feel with someone who is a lot more e then i am and i feel like my place is already filled and don't behave like the best version of myself...if that makes sense.
 

Bufo

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onto
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One is attracted to the other because he doesn't possess a certain quality (that he'd like to have) the other one possesses-probably this is the philosophy behind that phrase.
 
V

violaine

Guest
^^ oh i wasn't referring to you...it sounds like you do feel natural being a bit more extroverted...i was thinking about how i feel with someone who is a lot more e then i am and i feel like my place is already filled and don't behave like the best version of myself...if that makes sense.

^Yeah, aww that's what I thought upon reflection, so I edited to include a 'frownie' for you.
 

Lady_X

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^^ oh thanks...it's not a big sad thing though...it rarely happens..i tend to gravitate to people with harmonious energy. :)
 

King sns

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^^ oh thanks...it's not a big sad thing though...it rarely happens..i tend to gravitate to people with harmonious energy. :)

I'm told that I have nice energies.
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
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Nov 21, 2008
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^^ oh thanks...it's not a big sad thing though...it rarely happens..i tend to gravitate to people with harmonious energy. :)
Don't you worry, i'll bring some radium for the desert.
 

INA

now! in shell form
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Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,195
MBTI Type
intp
Extroverts bore me, generally. Opposites do not attract this introvert.
In friends it's fine, but for relationships, no.
 
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