It isn't so much a theory as an analogy, based on what I've noticed. I see E-E relationships in which there's just too much going on, in my opinion. Two talkers and no listeners.
I see I-I relationships which are boring. Two listeners and no talkers.
I see I-E relationships which seem just right, because one person talks and the other one listens.
Again, there's more to people and relationships than introversion and extroversion, but with these traits isolated, these are my views.
I think this is pure idealism or love of forms. I don't think that you can reduce intro/extroversion to talkativeness, but rather on source of energy and how one understands world (internal v. external principles). If we are admitting observations, I'd say that it's my experience that extroverted loved ones don't necessarily talk your ears off anymore than introverts. It is context-dependent. While introverts may not be all that communicative with everybody, we can be quite talkative and gregarious with loved ones - the context of a one-on-one partnering relationship.
Also, introversion and extroversion are on a spectrum, so the analogy would be more robust if you meant relative intro/extroversion.
It is true that if both are preoccupied with their inner-worlds to the exclusion of the other, there's not a lot of engagement going on. However, it's also true that introverts may feel more comfortable sharing their perhaps similar inner worlds with other introverts and loathe that which disturbs it, which in some cases is another's extroversion.
Further, if we are to borrow your conception of the staid introvert and exciting extrovert, what you may consider boring other introverts would find more intriguing and what you consider "exciting" in the extrovert, introverts may find gadabout silliness. But i wouldn't say that's necessarily the case, because I haven't found a "stimulating/boring" mapping to "introversion/extroversion."
Originally Posted by PinkPiranha
This debate could be solved by a simple game of Slaps.
Not really a debate - I don't know that I can say it does or doesn't work. Trying to get at what Mr. Flak means and why.
Ti (43); Ne (41.8); Te (33.7); Fi (30.5); Ni (27.5); Se (24.7); Si (21.5); Fe (17.3)
The More You Know the Less You Need. - Aboriginal Saying
That's the thing though: I don't see that this is the most common dynamic in real life, actually. Certainly, one partner is often more intro/extroverted than the other, but not necessarily an intro/extrovert. Seems to me that introverts not uncommonly prefer the habits and pace of other introverts, while many extroverts thrive off the kind of stimulation other extroverts give. I have not, however, read any studies on the matter if pairing up by intro/extroversion, so who knows. I welcome anything you have on that score.
I think I/I is quite common - probably at least as common as E/I. I wouldn't think E/E would be as common - am only aware of one E/E couple in real life.
Highly subjective, of course. I know some I's who have a definite preference for other I's for some of the same reasons already listed, and they seem to do fine. But I think they also have a different 'goal', if you will, of what they want their relationship to be like, and what they desire out of it.
On the other hand, having grown up in a family of all I's, there's a negative side to that dynamic (+'s and -'s to everything, obviously), and I guess personally I desire a bit of extroversion thrown into the mix.
"...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce
I've been thinking about introversion and extraversion, and the interaction between people who are I's and E's. I'm sorry if there's already a thread that deals with this subject, I tried to go back but none caught my eye
I know introverts may well enjoy the company of extraverts, (although worthy of an acknowledgement that in large doses it may be draining), but do extraverts enjoy introverts company? As in, would an extravert seek out the company of an introvert to another extravert? To stereotype even more, if introverts are seen as "shy" in group situations and extraverts as "outgoing". What in introverts might interest extraverts?
In general, do you tend to get intrigued (regardless of you introversion or extraversion) in outgoing people rather than less outgoing individuals? What are the best aspects an extravert and an introvert can offer you?
I know I put this in an extremely simple form, and of course I don't expect it to be that way in reality, but it's just one of the things I've been thinking. I'm really interested in what you guys think about this, so your thoughts on the subject are very welcomed (:
This one is easy for me:
I am immensely attracted to "I's".....I always have been from teenage years up...
For a long time, I didn't understand why.....but if I met a group of girls or entered a room with many women....I would instantly gravitate towards an "I".....
Why? I find their quiet demeanor sexy and intriguing. I think they are the best at communicating without a word. I have an aversion for loud women....I think "I's" tend to have a 'femininity' about them....they seem soft, tender...very female.
They also seem to be more open to affection....to quiet time together....as Snow Patrol puts it "to just lie there and forget the world"...
I don't know if that explains it.....but I seem to be attracted long term to "I's"......so yes, I believe opposites do attract.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou