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  1. #1
    Senior Member r0wo1's Avatar
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    Default INFJs do you do this too?

    So I recently moved in with a new roommate and after a couple weeks I had him take the MBTI just out of interest, and his results... well befuddle me to be honest. His results came out INFJ (and then ISFJ after I had him retake and change the answers he wasnt perfectly sure of), and I swear thats not correct. So I took note of the traits he has that particulary stand out and wanted to ask what you guys think:

    1. Talks almost incessantly. Can't seem to stand silence and finds it... awkward. To the point where he will break silence (welcome, blessed silence...) with an incredibly awkward comment.

    2. These awkward comments typically have reference to his family in some way shape or form. Our first day as roommates, I asked him to tell me about him a little bit about himself. I was expecting where he was born, his hobbies, how many family members he has, maybe even a favorite color if he was feeling a bit dangerous, but what I got back was a 30 minutes lecture about how his parents were divorced when he was younger, how he has never known a real family and how his parents were very physical punishers...

    3. He seems totally willing to relate any of this information to anybody who will sit still long enough to listen to it! He must be looking for sympathy in some way shape or form? But what he tells people is very personal information, its like he doesnt care who you are you are going to know all about his past.

    4. He's got a very high school popularity mentality still, if we're in a group together its like he sizes the group up and immediately tries to make sure he isn't on the bottom by picking somebody he considers "weaker" or "lesser" in the group and then being, although occasionally, a tad brash with them.

    5. Its almost as if I don't even see the real him on most occasions, like he swaps personalities sometimes depending on his mood or who is with. Its kind of frustrating because it seems like he puts on some sort of facade and occasionally his "real" self pokes out.

    Is this typical INFJ behavior? Because its sure not how I consider them, what do you think?
    r0wo1 the destroyer of threads has struck again...

  2. #2
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    2, 3, and 5 I can be guilty of. Help me, I'm talking and I can't shut up!
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  3. #3
    Senior Member Kestrel's Avatar
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    1. I've been known to talk alot in certain situations. Most likely in one-on-one or small group scenarios.

    2. I'll divulge things about myself and my past as I'm getting to know someone, but not out of the blue. Unless it has some kind of relevance.

    3. I don't go "sympathy phishing" either. If I'm having a bad day, I'd most likely rather sort it out myself. Or talk to a close friend about any issues.

    4. This seems more like a maturity issue. I have no idea if this can be connected to "type". If a group has some kind of established hierarchy, I'd rather not bother trying to force myself into it; and certainly not by picking someone out like that.

    5. INFJs typically don't do facades. We're just varying degrees of transparency. Around people I know well, I tend to act differently than I would in a large group I barely know.

    This person could be an INFJ, but he seems a bit immature.
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  4. #4
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    My real personality is really quiet, private. What I feel is everyone knows everything about me anyway even when I didn't want it to be so, I did try, if I even got a semblance of it back, I'd return to my quieter self in an instant, it'd be a relief to me to be honest, I'll try again anyway. I tend to keep things internally inside of me and more subtle, in those times, which is my natural state.

  5. #5
    Senior Member r0wo1's Avatar
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    I think I have a hard time relating to him, I will not discuss very personal things unless it is with somebody who I know and trust very well (VERY well). I think the biggest source of my distrust on his MBTI result, is how he seems to be the exact opposite in that case.

    Maybe I'm just thinking that INFPs and INFJs are more similar then they actually are?
    r0wo1 the destroyer of threads has struck again...

  6. #6
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by r0wo1 View Post
    I think I have a hard time relating to him, I will not discuss very personal things unless it is with somebody who I know and trust very well (VERY well). I think the biggest source of my distrust on his MBTI result, is how he seems to be the exact opposite in that case.

    Maybe I'm just thinking that INFPs and INFJs are more similar then they actually are?

    Maybe what is very personal is different for you and for him? I mean I won't talk about really really private stuff with anyone unless I trust them, but what I do talk about to almost anyone who will listen, would seem and does seem to many, to be extremely personal too.

    It's just not that personal to me. Like I would tell someone who asked, all about my abusive past, which would appear to others to be personal, but not to me since I have a blog of it online that literally anyone can read.
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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by r0wo1 View Post
    I think I have a hard time relating to him, I will not discuss very personal things unless it is with somebody who I know and trust very well (VERY well). I think the biggest source of my distrust on his MBTI result, is how he seems to be the exact opposite in that case.

    Maybe I'm just thinking that INFPs and INFJs are more similar then they actually are?
    Really it must be his shadow coming out ESTP, that would make sense with what you are saying, might be stressed, much of my personal information, I had no intention of saying sometimes, but I was given way, way too much focus on my private matters, so thought whats the point anymore? But I see what you mean, Id be much relieved to return to that.

  8. #8
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I don't know that it's so much a sympathy thing as much as it is a compulsion to self-disclose or the symptoms of an . . . unfulfilled closure loop, if that makes sense.

    If I have a problem, usually interpersonal, that I can't resolve, I obsess about it, continuing to run it through my head again and again, looking for things I've missed and self-doubt causes me to seek validation for my conclusion that the problem is a) not in my head, b) not solvable by any reasonable means on my end, and c) doesn't mean I'm terrible person. I guess that is a little bit about sympathy, but believe me, if a reasonable solution presented itself, I'd jump on it and to heck with the sympathy.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  9. #9
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    I can't relate to 2 or 4, and most of 1 I cannot relate to -- I don't talk incessantly (however, I have an INFJ friend who can, so it can be a trait for some INFJ's). However, silence can be awkward for me, so that part is true. I usually don't fill it with comments just to break it, though. 5 might not be swapping personalities. Might be more of an Fe-thing -- trying to relate to whomever he's with. And INFJ's can have many sides to their personality, and yes, it can be mood dependent.
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    I don't think he's an INFJ.

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