User Tag List

First 12345 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 44

  1. #21
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    2,967

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post

    Hey, heart. You've changed your type. Congratulations! You sure didn't seem like a Jay to me.
    Lookit that. Sumpin popped out of my subconscious!

    You can write this one off.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  2. #22
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    XNFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,170

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Emotionally? Yes, though if something still needs to be done I'm better off with out having the emotions in the way. You would say I almost function better in those situations. Things seem clearer...
    See, I've thought that myself. There are situations at work especially.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #23
    Junior Member Blueberry LaLa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    21

    Default

    I am known for being calm and level-headed in a crisis, but I don't consciously turn off my emotions. It's almost like things become clearer for me in a crisis -- maybe that's the survival mode thing? I feel like I understand what needs to be done (for once) and I just do.

    Never thought of it in terms of me operating in the shadow ESTJ mode, though, which is an interesting thought.

    I always just thought I was good in crisis because I know myself and trust my abilities to get through whatever the problem is.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4
    Posts
    4,010

    Default

    When something serious is going down, my whole world it turtned inward..I appear somewhat calm, but inside is a hot boiling pot of churning chaos, that slowly builds up..but no one can see it. It's weird. It's like the scene in Thin Red Line, where one of the soldiers is experiencing a chaotic sense of mind, on the front like, and then goes bezerk..if you know what part I'm talking about. It's dellusional man.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  5. #25
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,595

    Default

    This is something I can relate to as being something that happens to me more than the average person. It has come up in relationships and caused confusion because whenever things start getting emotional, I retreat into detachment from my own feelings. Anyone who has lived with me can verify that I don't argue. That is a side effect of what I am talking about. Being able to distance myself from emotions when they could affect my choices and experience has been my best survival strategy for many years. I developed it as a teenager many years ago. It developed as a counterbalance to pain that threatened to overwhelm. When I would slip into deep depression, I would start analyzing a pattern on the wall, or the movement of an insect, or anything. I would still feel the pain, but in tandem with a certain calm. When I see someone else slipping into emotional trauma, I try to help them find that same place of calm and detachment, but a couple times it really backfired. In the end it worked because I had the presence of mind to hear what they were feeling rather than saying and was able to respond in a reassuring way to calm them down as well. In a word, the detachment makes the communication worse until it can switch focus back to the other person's feelings and communicate on that level which I am still working on improving. My mistake comes when I make a concerted effort to communicate more precisely at those times when the emotional person needs absolution and reassurance which imply much broader sweeping statements that everything is alright without being too precise about the breakdown of the ideas.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  6. #26
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    XNFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,170

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    This is something I can relate to as being something that happens to me more than the average person. It has come up in relationships and caused confusion because whenever things start getting emotional, I retreat into detachment from my own feelings. Anyone who has lived with me can verify that I don't argue. That is a side effect of what I am talking about. Being able to distance myself from emotions when they could affect my choices and experience has been my best survival strategy for many years. I developed it as a teenager many years ago. It developed as a counterbalance to pain that threatened to overwhelm. When I would slip into deep depression, I would start analyzing a pattern on the wall, or the movement of an insect, or anything. I would still feel the pain, but in tandem with a certain calm. When I see someone else slipping into emotional trauma, I try to help them find that same place of calm and detachment, but a couple times it really backfired. In the end it worked because I had the presence of mind to hear what they were feeling rather than saying and was able to respond in a reassuring way to calm them down as well. In a word, the detachment makes the communication worse until it can switch focus back to the other person's feelings and communicate on that level which I am still working on improving. My mistake comes when I make a concerted effort to communicate more precisely at those times when the emotional person needs absolution and reassurance which imply much broader sweeping statements that everything is alright without being too precise about the breakdown of the ideas.
    I often find words aren't enough in that situation. Unfortunately for me I have a real aversion to touching people, unless they are close to me personally, and even then it's difficult for me. It pains me at times when I know a hug would speak volumes, how ever that is only ever reserved for people who would register the significance, inspite of how awkard a hug it may be.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #27
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    infp
    Posts
    2,726

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FireyPheonix View Post
    I often find words aren't enough in that situation. Unfortunately for me I have a real aversion to touching people, unless they are close to me personally, and even then it's difficult for me. It pains me at times when I know a hug would speak volumes, how ever that is only ever reserved for people who would register the significance, inspite of how awkard a hug it may be.
    Wow, I am the same. I know how much a hug would help, I struggle inside to offer it, but I freeze and can't do it because I don't like people stepping inside my personal circle unless I am really close to them, and I mean really close. My friend calls me the tree and I call her the tree hugger because I am as stiff as a board when I get hugged and she continues to bombard me with them to try and get me used to it.

    I can also identify with what you said toonia, but it has only happened when the emotional trauma has been so intense, that I have switched off and ceased to argue back, or express my own pain.

    It's not even like I am still in pain inside, I just go dead, all the emotions vanish and I can see things differently, sometimes that's not a good thing though. If someone has caused me to shut down like that, it's not going to help their case one bit because they have usually triggered something far too deep in me to ever look at them the same way again.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

    Berb's Johari Berb's Nohari

  8. #28
    it's a nuclear device antireconciler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    Intj
    Enneagram
    5w4 so
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    867

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    This is something I can relate to as being something that happens to me more than the average person. It has come up in relationships and caused confusion because whenever things start getting emotional, I retreat into detachment from my own feelings. Anyone who has lived with me can verify that I don't argue. That is a side effect of what I am talking about. Being able to distance myself from emotions when they could affect my choices and experience has been my best survival strategy for many years.
    Me too. I might be feeling a lot of pain about something, but there's a strong sense in which I feel too much responsible for my own feelings, that lashing out would be worse to me than holding the feeling inside is. I'll try to handle the situation rationally, and then isolate myself to lick the wound and absorb my feelings. In stronger cases, I might feel like everything is going to shreds and I have to start severing friendships and social bonds to get away. In bad cases in the past, I could start acting robotically and see everyone as just noisy emotional nuisances worth nothing to me. A little trust in others might have served me here.

    All this isolation keeps a kind of distance between yourself and your feelings. Lashing out might be foolish, but it does quickly bring you in touch with how you feel. You no sooner start lashing out then it begins to dawn on you that the dark feelings which hurt so much don't really represent you or how you really feel.

    On a more positive note, sometimes if something significant happens which may cause others to be stirred up and angered, I can be very calm and take some delight in the resiliency of my mind through the stormy situation. It's a pleasant experience. Where the other detachment and isolation is a method of retreat, this detachment is a product of acceptance.
    ~ a n t i r e c o n c i l e r
    What is death, dies.
    What is life, lives.

  9. #29
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    XNFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,170

    Default

    Truth is I'm better with the big things, than I am with small irritations. I'll sit there, bitching and moaning about some back handed comment and I'll mull for days(and maybe get all passive agressive). Lose my job, and every bodies really shocked that I, not only suddenly whirr into action, but that I manage to stay calm and focus until I have something else lined up. Only then can I flake. Some times I wonder if I'm not a better person in a crisis.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #30
    Senior Member niki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    210

    Default

    yeah I do that too. being calm, a bit 'detached' sometimes.
    I can relate as well.

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] INFPs, do you wear personas to get along in society?
    By Metis in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 03-27-2017, 11:48 AM
  2. INTx: How do you deal with a lot of negative emotion?
    By Ozzy26 in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 04-18-2010, 09:08 AM
  3. [INFJ] INFJs and/or HSPs: Do you get depressed in the wrong kind of job?
    By karenk in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 10-27-2008, 11:29 PM
  4. [INFP] INFPs: What do you look for in friends?
    By DigitalMethod in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 10-08-2008, 11:48 AM
  5. [INFP] INFPs - Do you keep your environment clutter free?
    By INTJMom in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 88
    Last Post: 06-23-2008, 02:37 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO