[MBTI General] Idealist Thoughts on INTP Romance

[Lady_X]

well...don't wanna hijack too much...or does it even matter...this thread is all over the place anyway i guess.

but...i think an extravert is likely to be very forward in getting to know you but once she decides she likes you.. you will probably notice a change in behavior...so...yes...it's likely that an extravert will see a shy boy off by himself and go and talk to him...be friendly like she normally is...but then there's usually a noticeable change unless she's cocktailed, i think.

 

[LostInNerSpace]

well...don't wanna hijack too much...or does it even matter...this thread is all over the place anyway i guess.

but...i think an extravert is likely to be very forward in getting to know you but once she decides she likes you.. you will probably notice a change in behavior...so...yes...it's likely that an extravert will see a shy boy off by himself and go and talk to him...be friendly like she normally is...but then there's usually a noticeable change unless she's cocktailed, i think.

Thanks. My own problem is that I'm more picky than I should be. I would say I'm a very visual person. I tend to push away less attractive women. But very attractive women turn my brain to jello.

I'm the same way with everything. If I'm buying a toaster it has to be the best possible toaster I can budget for. I always go for the best I can find.

I do really well on dates when I'm not really interested. The problem is I'm not really interested.

 

[g_vartan]

Ummm...
....
You'll never get any relationships if you never throw the cards on the table.

as an intp who's supposedly very observant/perceptive that you should notice if the person acts differently with you...an outgoing person turning a bit more shy and/or giggly or a shy person making a bit more of an effort and giving you more attention then anyone else....and it's in the look...it's a look they would not give a sibling. you can tell the difference if you pay attention...i really believe you can.

i think an extravert is likely to be very forward in getting to know you but once she decides she likes you.. you will probably notice a change in behavior...so...yes...it's likely that an extravert will see a shy boy off by himself and go and talk to him...be friendly like she normally is...but then there's usually a noticeable change unless she's cocktailed, i think.

QFT. My INTP guy is the only one who can make me shut-up And if we *especially* like you (and we're thinking you're not picking up the lil clues), we'll make it *painfully* obvious

*Warning: This might involve hugging, kissing, etc. which might lead to spontaneous INTP combustion

 

[MacGuffin]

QFT. My INTP guy is the only one who can make me shut-up And if we *especially* like you (and we're thinking you're not picking up the lil clues), we'll make it obvious

Sitting on our keyboard while we're typing just irks us!

 

[Lady_X]

^^ oh i have the same problem really...i can talk to just about anyone usually...i can be forward and flirty and totally confident...until i've decided i'm really attracted to someone...then i'm all fuzzy headed and either don't say much or say really embarrassingly stupid things endlessly until i just feel like running away...haha

not forever...obviously but ughh...sucks while it lasts!

 

[g_vartan]

^^ oh i have the same problem really...i can talk to just about anyone usually...i can be forward and flirty and totally confident...until i've decided i'm really attracted to someone...then i'm all fuzzy headed and either don't say much or say really embarrassingly stupid things endlessly until i just feel like running away...haha

not forever...obviously but ughh...sucks while it lasts!

Lol! He solves my verbal diarrhea problem

Sitting on our keyboard while we're typing just irks us!

That's not what you said yesterday night! Bada-bing! Zing! *takes a bow*

 

[MacGuffin]

That's not what you said yesterday night! Bada-bing! Zing! *takes a bow*

I'm glad my hands were cold! :steam:

 

[Lady_X]

well...if they still wanna hang out with you after it's a really good thing...haha

or even better laugh about it with you.

 

[LostInNerSpace]

Lol! He solves my verbal diarrhea problem

You're gonna give me an odd fetish if you're not careful.

I'm the same way with everything. If I'm buying a toaster it has to be the best possible toaster I can budget for. I always go for the best I can find.

Thinking about it now. A few of the ENFJs I've had crushes on I did not think were all that attractive initially. They kind of grew on me.

 

[g_vartan]

You're gonna give me an odd fetish if you're not careful.

And LostInNerSpace for the win.

Thinking about it now. A few of the ENFJs I've had crushes on I did not think were all that attractive initially. They kind of grew on me.

Initial attraction is naturally "visual" - its gets one interested, but to remain interested, there gotta be something more. When I first met my INTP guy, he really turned me off 'cus he really came across as cocky and arrogant to me (and others). But he grew on me after it was obvious that we share a lot of interests and values and saw the world in unique but complimentary ways.

 

[Kaizer]

I really only get irritated when an NF tries to talk about something they know nothing about as though they know what they are talking about. There's a guy at work who makes up completely random stuff when talking about computers to other people. But he presents it in such a way that people listening actually accept what he's telling them. That is pure torcher to listen to.

Takes a lil time to pinpoint what NFs assert, but if it is explained well enough then they do actually consider it and even change their view. Conversely, especially with ENFJs, they can spot phonies very quickly and also better manipulate ppl... & in a good way most of the time.

 

[Kaizer]

*Warning: This might involve hugging, kissing, etc. which might lead to spontaneous INTP combustion

sublimation preferred tyvm

 

[LostInNerSpace]

Takes a lil time to pinpoint what NFs assert, but if it is explained well enough then they do actually consider it and even change their view. Conversely, especially with ENFJs, they can spot phonies very quickly and also better manipulate ppl... & in a good way most of the time.

I think this is something else you are talking about. What I mean is random crap coming from an NF. Example, "I think the problem is caused by the Sharepoint protocol installing itself onto the server without permission. Randomly clicking your mouse on the screen a few times should solve the problem." The randomly clicking your mouse bit was a slight exaggeration, the the other part was not. Whenever I have tried to make this guy understand that he is talking a bunch of crap, he will google one or two of the words and justify his assessment with whatever shows up in the results.

 

[Priori]

That is a stumbling point for me as well, Wielding. I don't know if it's more common in INTPs than other types. But anyone who says something of the nature "That's just that way I am so adjust to me." doesn't seem willing to have an equal relationship with me and I find it difficult to invest interest in them.

Try living in a world were everyone thinks totally different than you do and they hate you when they find out. Being told how wrong you are for just being you gets real old.

 

[Lady_X]

hi! and welcome!
and...i know...i think people should just be accepted too....asking someone to change big parts of themselves just doesn't feel like love to me....but doing sweet lil things the other person likes that wouldn't necessarily come naturally to you is a nice way to show love ...as long as it doesn't go against who you really are, ya know?

 

[Lozzy]

The other INTP has a weird fixation with things like zombies and pirates, for example.

For what it's worth, I also have these two particular fixations. I've turned up to lectures dressed as a pirate in the past, and I have a real penchant for zombie horror flicks. Maybe the unique love of swashbuckling and brain-eating is a cross-type phenomena?

 

[Moiety]

I think this is something else you are talking about. What I mean is random crap coming from an NF. Example, "I think the problem is caused by the Sharepoint protocol installing itself onto the server without permission. Randomly clicking your mouse on the screen a few times should solve the problem." The randomly clicking your mouse bit was a slight exaggeration, the the other part was not. Whenever I have tried to make this guy understand that he is talking a bunch of crap, he will google one or two of the words and justify his assessment with whatever shows up in the results.

I thought you INTPs were proficient bullshitters yourself.

 

[Salomé]

Try living in a world were everyone thinks totally different than you do and they hate you when they find out. Being told how wrong you are for just being you gets real old.

Quite the dramatic opener!
Who tells you this? And why do you care?

 

[Priori]

That did come out a little angsty didn't it. A wicked ENFJ has been playing havoc on my poor little innocent Fe lately...

I'm sure you are as familiar with the frustrations of living in a E,S, and J domintated world as I am Blue; I learned to accept and adapt to it years ago.

The point I was trying to make, minus the angst, was that INTPs think, feel and perceive things 'backwards' when compared to the majority. Relationships require a herculean effort from us in order to pull off and other types might not likely to be aware of just how hard we are trying.

 

[LostInNerSpace]

That did come out a little angsty didn't it. A wicked ENFJ has been playing havoc on my poor little innocent Fe lately...

I'm sure you are as familiar with the frustrations of living in a E,S, and J domintated world as I am Blue; I learned to accept and adapt to it years ago.

The point I was trying to make, minus the angst, was that INTPs think, feel and perceive things 'backwards' when compared to the majority. Relationships require a herculean effort from us in order to pull off and other types might not likely to be aware of just how hard we are trying.

The key is to stop thinking of yourself as a victim of the big bad world. I used to see myself going in the wrong direction. I was trying to go in the same direction as everyone else. I wanted to be normal. Now I see most other people going in the wrong direction. If that makes me arrogant in the eyes of some, so be it. I won't lose any sleep.

There will always be critics no matter what you do. Critics are good for you. They keep you on your toes. See it as an opportunity rather than feeling victimized by it.