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  1. #81
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    Whiny or whiney, not 'whinny'.



    I've never understood how this is a 'bad thing'. What's so bad about wanting people to be forthright? I shouldn't have to decode some abstract subtlety that's meant to mean you want something: if you want something just come out and say it! I think some people tend to imply wanting something instead of explicitly asking in order to save face, to get it without actually asking, which frankly I find it rude and petty.



    All these years and I never understood why "Hi, I'm 93JC; wanna fuck?" didn't work...
    Sounds like her unappealing list hit a little too close to home.

  2. #82
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    One INTP guy I dated had swords all over the place.
    I have several Kung Fu swords. Practice swords, not real.

  3. #83
    Senior Member chatoyer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    Whiny or whiney, not 'whinny'.
    Ooh, ouch! But very INTP of you! Good demonstration.


    I've never understood how this is a 'bad thing'. What's so bad about wanting people to be forthright? I shouldn't have to decode some abstract subtlety that's meant to mean you want something: if you want something just come out and say it! I think some people tend to imply wanting something instead of explicitly asking in order to save face, to get it without actually asking, which frankly I find it rude and petty.
    It's not bad, it's just not ideal, you're talking to a bunch of idealists! We revel in subtlety, flights of imagination, unpredictability in the area of romance, come on! Why be so reactive? What do you want from me, unhampered by my request?

    I don't want a memo! I don't want to give a memo that spells out exactly to the letter what I want. I want a mesmerizing painting of you and me, what do we create together that's unique and magical? I want a dance where I don't always lead and you respond!


    All these years and I never understood why "Hi, I'm 93JC; wanna fuck?" didn't work...
    Good luck with that!

  4. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by A Schnitzel View Post
    Sounds like her unappealing list hit a little too close to home.
    Damn right it did. I have had people get frustrated with my lack of ability/willingness to appreciate subtleties many times, and most of the time I come away frustrated in return.

    Family, friends, colleagues: lots of them have tried to 'suggest' I do something for them rather than being up front. And they often have the gall to try and make me seem like a jerk for not picking up on it, whether by action or inaction.

    People who don't have the balls to flat-out ask me to do something don't deserve whatever they're 'not-asking' for.

  5. #85
    Member g_vartan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    Whiny or whiney, not 'whinny'.
    lol. Oh intps...

    I've never understood how this is a 'bad thing'. What's so bad about wanting people to be forthright? I shouldn't have to decode some abstract subtlety that's meant to mean you want something: if you want something just come out and say it! I think some people tend to imply wanting something instead of explicitly asking in order to save face, to get it without actually asking, which frankly I find it rude and petty....All these years and I never understood why "Hi, I'm 93JC; wanna fuck?" didn't work...
    Haha. I dated an immature INTP who I needed to explicitly state what I needed, especially in regards to feelings / emotions. He really had low EQ and had difficulty "decoding" emotions and social cues hence, sometimes unable to provide the appropriate emotional / social reciprocity that the moment required. For example, when we first started going out, he didn't understand that kissing/hugging your partner before one departs is expected, or providing a comforting word/gesture when you're partner is having a bad day is required (he would just stare at me). But to be fair, once you provide the INTP with the "requirements", they make it a point to upload them to their "system", and then not to forget it.

    I recently realized that most of my issues with my INTP were due to miscommunication, than incompatibility. Communication is the oil that keeps the NT-NF machine going.

  6. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by g_vartan View Post
    My $0.02-

    Appealing
    • Beautiful mind - full of wisdom, intelligence, and (untapped) talent;
    • A sense of wonder and childlike enthusiasm - like to share the interesting things they've come across with during the day;
    • Funny, quirky, dorky, and kind - if you are one of the lucky few, they strive to make you smile / giggle *all* the time;
    • Honesty and integrity - walking the walk, even when times get tough; first person to "warn" of possible issues, but also the first person to offer to help out in difficult times and also rejoice in your success;
    • Sweet - like to create a few "special" moments full of inside jokes, silly smiles, and meaning;
    • Loyalty - if they promised you something, they will try their hardest to keep it; and
    • Protective (i.e., worries about the silliest things that have a low probability of happening - though very sweet)


    Unappealing
    • Could sometimes be immature - i.e., hard to change their mind (if they think they're "right" ), whinny, selfish, and insensitive;
    • Detachment - i.e., hard to follow sometimes (they just give you the conclusion and save you the "calculations"), process emotions or events like a science experiment, but with time held constant - thus, leaving their partner out in the dark and feeling unsupported and ignored;
    • Like an absentminded professor - forgets events, anniversaries, etc.....if you want something, you have to explicitly ask for it - subtlety isn't their thing...also hampers "romance"; and
    • Restless - seem to be always unhappy with something and tend to have a pessimistic PoV.
    I found this list really funny since we both are ENFJ's and did our format near identically.

  7. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    Damn right it did. I have had people get frustrated with my lack of ability/willingness to appreciate subtleties many times, and most of the time I come away frustrated in return.

    Family, friends, colleagues: lots of them have tried to 'suggest' I do something for them rather than being up front. And they often have the gall to try and make me seem like a jerk for not picking up on it, whether by action or inaction.

    People who don't have the balls to flat-out ask me to do something don't deserve whatever they're 'not-asking' for.
    Since we are talking about what is or is not appealing to NF's about INTPs (and since we're on the subject of being straight-forward), I'd say this kind of attitude above is one thing that NF's find quite unappealing about them. Sorry. Just saying.

  8. #88
    Member g_vartan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chatoyer View Post
    ...

    I don't want a memo! I don't want to give a memo that spells out exactly to the letter what I want. I want a mesmerizing painting of you and me, what do we create together that's unique and magical? I want a dance where I don't always lead and you respond!
    Exactly. ENFJs, in particular, *love* romance and there is an "artistic" - je ne sais quo quality to developing/sustaining romantic relationships....that deconstructing it into explicit variables or formulas too often sometimes takes out the "magic" from the moment.

    Quote Originally Posted by WieldingTheSword View Post
    I found this list really funny since we both are ENFJ's and did our format near identically.
    lol. My NT trained me well. Simple and concise, I strive to be

  9. #89
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by g_vartan View Post

    • i.e., hard to change their mind (if they think they're "right" ), whinny, selfish, and insensitive;
    Not guilty
    Quote Originally Posted by g_vartan View Post

    • Detachment - i.e., hard to follow sometimes (they just give you the conclusion and save you the "calculations"), process emotions or events like a science experiment, but with time held constant - thus, leaving their partner out in the dark and feeling unsupported and ignored;
    Guilty
    Quote Originally Posted by g_vartan View Post

    • Like an absentminded professor - forgets events, anniversaries, etc.....if you want something, you have to explicitly ask for it - subtlety isn't their thing...also hampers "romance"; and
    Guilty
    Quote Originally Posted by g_vartan View Post

    • Restless - seem to be always unhappy with something
    Guilty
    Quote Originally Posted by g_vartan View Post

    • and tend to have a pessimistic PoV.
    Not Guilty
    Quote Originally Posted by g_vartan View Post

    • Could sometimes be immature -

  10. #90
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    That is a stumbling point for me as well, Wielding. I don't know if it's more common in INTPs than other types. But anyone who says something of the nature "That's just that way I am so adjust to me." doesn't seem willing to have an equal relationship with me and I find it difficult to invest interest in them.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

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