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  1. #301
    Senior Member Priori's Avatar
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    I do not think of myself as a victim, the angst was partly to get the point across to the feeler in her/his language and part sympathizing with the INTP’s feelings s/he was speaking too.

    Quote Originally Posted by LostInNerSpace View Post
    [COLOR=#070956][FONT=Verdana]I used to see myself going in the wrong direction. I was trying to go in the same direction as everyone else. I wanted to be normal. Now I see most other people going in the wrong direction. If that makes me arrogant in the eyes of some, so be it. I won't lose any sleep.
    This sums up my feelings pretty accurately. However, if you want to be in a meaningful relationship you are going to have to compromise, and my intent was to point out to those people who are or were dissatisfied with their relationship with an INTP that he or she was probably trying harder to compromise than they know. It requires a lot of effort on our part just to see a little product.

  2. #302
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Priori View Post
    I do not think of myself as a victim, the angst was partly to get the point across to the feeler in her/his language and part sympathizing with the INTP’s feelings s/he was speaking too.



    This sums up my feelings pretty accurately. However, if you want to be in a meaningful relationship you are going to have to compromise, and my intent was to point out to those people who are or were dissatisfied with their relationship with an INTP that he or she was probably trying harder to compromise than they know. It requires a lot of effort on our part just to see a little product.
    What was going to type something about how I am Mr. Compromise, and then I saw this: Sum's it up very nicely, I think.

  3. #303
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    I am of the opinion that people who are unable to directly express their wishes have a problem with self-esteem and/or are manipulative and one shouldn't have to change one's self to accommodate that kind of unhealthiness.
    If anyone can think of a valid reason why this is not the case, please explain.
    My theory is that sometimes it's just a gender/nurture thing. For a lot of women, we are raised to be aware of subtle cues, anticipate needs, and I think we can even have a natural propensity for it, so it's hard to grasp that someone who loves us doesn't do it the same way we do, which is, in part, to observe our loved ones and anticipate their needs.

    With a lot of people it works. I rarely had to ask my grandma for anything, for example. She knew I needed something and often knew what it was before I'd even considered asking for it. It made me feel loved and known. I go out of my way to anticipate the needs of my husband and children. It's a way that I show love love and not doing so would be like tying my own hands.

    The problem comes in when we can't get it out of our minds that others must love like we do. If a person can make a mental transfer from "If he really loved me, I wouldn't have to ask!" to "He loves me so much, I have only to ask!" It can work. If they can't . . . yeah.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #304
    sophiloist Kaizer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    My theory is that sometimes it's just a gender/nurture thing. For a lot of women, we are raised to be aware of subtle cues, anticipate needs, and I think we can even have a natural propensity for it, so it's hard to grasp that someone who loves us doesn't do it the same way we do, which is, in part, to observe our loved ones and anticipate their needs.

    With a lot of people it works. I rarely had to ask my grandma for anything, for example. She knew I needed something and often knew what it was before I'd even considered asking for it. It made me feel loved and known. I go out of my way to anticipate the needs of my husband and children. It's a way that I show love love and not doing so would be like tying my own hands.

    The problem comes in when we can't get it out of our minds that others must love like we do. If a person can make a mental transfer from "If he really loved me, I wouldn't have to ask!" to "He loves me so much, I have only to ask!" It can work. If they can't . . . yeah.
    yep, love em cause we want em for who they truly are and not 'love' em cause they 'fill a need' etc. .. & it can only be a two-way street

  5. #305
    Senior Member Priori's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LostInNerSpace View Post
    Your logic is undeniable.

  6. #306
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Priori View Post
    I'm sure you are as familiar with the frustrations of living in a E,S, and J domintated world as I am Blue; I learned to accept and adapt to it years ago.
    Dunno. I don't really get frustrated about being in the minority. I kind of like it.
    Though sometimes I think life might be easier as almost any other type.
    C'est la vie.
    Quote Originally Posted by Priori View Post
    INTPs think, feel and perceive things 'backwards' when compared to the majority. Relationships require a herculean effort from us in order to pull off and other types might not likely to be aware of just how hard we are trying.
    Yeah, but that's not really an excuse. If we fail we fail. We shouldn't be asking for special allowances here.
    What do you mean we think/feel/perceive "backwards"?

    Feeling sorry for yourself is a total waste of time and energy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  7. #307
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    My theory is that sometimes it's just a gender/nurture thing. For a lot of women, we are raised to be aware of subtle cues, anticipate needs, and I think we can even have a natural propensity for it, so it's hard to grasp that someone who loves us doesn't do it the same way we do, which is, in part, to observe our loved ones and anticipate their needs.

    With a lot of people it works. I rarely had to ask my grandma for anything, for example. She knew I needed something and often knew what it was before I'd even considered asking for it. It made me feel loved and known. I go out of my way to anticipate the needs of my husband and children. It's a way that I show love love and not doing so would be like tying my own hands.

    The problem comes in when we can't get it out of our minds that others must love like we do. If a person can make a mental transfer from "If he really loved me, I wouldn't have to ask!" to "He loves me so much, I have only to ask!" It can work. If they can't . . . yeah.
    Good point.
    So it's perceived as a lack of love if you can't mindread?
    How is one supposed to navigate such a minefield of senselessness?
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  8. #308
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    And I quote: "Also most intps have really wierd forum pictures (cough cough). Often related to some imaginary display of heroism, might, manliness or style." And I ask, whatever do you mean?
    The MBTI types me as an INFP, however, SOCIONICS calls me an Logical Intuitive Extram (called an ENTj in our terms.)

  9. #309
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    This thread title is an oxymoron. INTP and romance don't belong together.

  10. #310
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    This thread title is an oxymoron. INTP and romance don't belong together.
    False. its just that intp and entj romance dont belong together
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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