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  1. #101
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    That is a stumbling point for me as well, Wielding. I don't know if it's more common in INTPs than other types. But anyone who says something of the nature "That's just that way I am so adjust to me." doesn't seem willing to have an equal relationship with me and I find it difficult to invest interest in them.
    I'll be honest. When I have that attitude toward others, it's because they're more invested in me than I am in them, and I don't really have the energy to expend on trying to do things exactly the way they want them. INTPs really are all about energy conservation, so we can have more time to live in our heads. If I'm really captivated by someone or really invested, I'll make a lot of effort in the relationship. People, in general, just don't fascinate us very often. Sometimes I can like a person just fine, and even enjoy their company, but when they start making a lot of demands of me, it becomes more of a hassle than it's worth.

    Wow, I think I just wrote my own "unappealing qualities" list.
    Something Witty

  2. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by WieldingTheSword View Post
    LOL! ^_^

    And there go the INTPs being cute all over again! Ugh! It's such a predicament to be so adorable and so annoying simultaneously like you are!
    How else did you think we'd get away with our annoying shenanigans?

  3. #103
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Ok, so this means we have to marry the INTP girls.
    MEEEE, PICK MEEEEE!

    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    ^ Would you like it better if I got my sword out?
    You're next!

  4. #104
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    Horses whinny, people are whiney.
    QFT

    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    You're just talking romance though: I'm talking about it in a greater sense. I'll feign an ability to read subtleties in the interests of romance, because even if the relationship isn't emotionally or intellectually stimulating or gratifying there's an outside chance I'd get laid.
    Gotta love that honesty.

    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    But for instance if you want me to take out the garbage I'd rather you politely asked "93JC, will you please take out the garbage?" once than said something like "You know 93JC, that garbage can seems to be getting quite full..." Don't try to weasel me into doing it, just ask!!
    +1

    Why is this difficult to understand?

    I am of the opinion that people who are unable to directly express their wishes have a problem with self-esteem and/or are manipulative and one shouldn't have to change one's self to accommodate that kind of unhealthiness.
    If anyone can think of a valid reason why this is not the case, please explain.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  5. #105
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post
    I am of the opinion that people who are unable to directly express their wishes have a problem with self-esteem and/or are manipulative and one shouldn't have to change one's self to accommodate that kind of unhealthiness.
    .
    I can only agree
    Oh, It does sound a bit like sarcasm doesn't it. Just a thought

    -hugs and kisses-
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  6. #106
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    And INTPs will never understand why.

    Oh well, guess we'll just have to agree you're wrong and move on.

    What was that thing you were saying about being stubborn?



    More like "That's just the way I am so take it or leave it." Actually, not so strongly worded. More of a subtle () "This is the way I am, just trying to give you fair warning, get out now if you expect wholesale change."

    I would never be as presumptuous to expect someone to 'adjust to me'. That's just rude.
    Well spoken, JC93. Sounds like simplicity and honesty. I think that would be the kind of person who could be in an equal relationship. If both people were willing to make slight adjustments in attitude/style.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  7. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    But for instance if you want me to take out the garbage I'd rather you politely asked "93JC, will you please take out the garbage?" once than said something like "You know 93JC, that garbage can seems to be getting quite full..." Don't try to weasel me into doing it, just ask!!
    Heh, I'll respond, "yes it is getting full." Then go back to what I was doing.

  8. #108
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    Heh, I'll respond, "yes it is getting full." Then go back to what I was doing.
    My GF will say "Hun, your hair is getting long."

    "Really? What an astute observation, you're right. I didn't think you had your contacts in."

    Incoming stare of death.



  9. #109
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I'll be honest. When I have that attitude toward others, it's because they're more invested in me than I am in them, and I don't really have the energy to expend on trying to do things exactly the way they want them. INTPs really are all about energy conservation, so we can have more time to live in our heads. If I'm really captivated by someone or really invested, I'll make a lot of effort in the relationship. People, in general, just don't fascinate us very often. Sometimes I can like a person just fine, and even enjoy their company, but when they start making a lot of demands of me, it becomes more of a hassle than it's worth.

    Wow, I think I just wrote my own "unappealing qualities" list.
    I really do identify with some people just taking more energy than I am willing to give, Tallulah. Yes.

    I don't think, in that case it's a flaw at all. Just self-preservation.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  10. #110
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluemonday View Post

    I am of the opinion that people who are unable to directly express their wishes have a problem with self-esteem and/or are manipulative and one shouldn't have to change one's self to accommodate that kind of unhealthiness.
    If anyone can think of a valid reason why this is not the case, please explain.
    Well, I actually don't think that's why most people do it. I think they probably think that it's more respectful or polite to hint around or vaguely suggest, rather than outright asking. Particularly if they're afraid of being seen as a nag or causing a confrontation. And who knows, they might think, knowing how INTPs can be, that we might see being asked directly to do it as them telling us what to do--which they know we'll hate. I really think it's just a difference in styles, though I'm sure some are actively trying to manipulate.

    Frankly, it's not gonna matter much to me how someone asks me to do a mundane household chore. I'm still going to be pulled out of my awesome inner world in order to do it. I'm never gonna go, "Yeah! That would be great--let me do it right NOW!" I do think that INTPs that continually ignore signals on purpose just to be douchebags are probably not doing anything but being annoying to the other person. (And yes, I've done this, too.) Not exactly great for the relationship, assuming we value said relationship. A much better tactic would be to say, "Could you just ask me to do it, instead of hinting around, please?"

    (Also, thanks, Anja--I think INTPs and INFPs are probably not far off from each other on the conservation front.)
    Something Witty

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