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  1. #31
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    I can relate to internal struggles.

    I get stressed by my standards for myself at times, and the 'should and shouldn't' thoughts when they start circling. Also living inside my head too much causes problems if that starts to happen, and the constant analycing. There's internal conflict also, but it's something I don't really notice all that much. Except the differences in selfesteem.

    I've been having trouble now from retreating inside, behind my walls and from self expression, opinion forming and such shutting off even from myself. I feel rather empty or dead inside right now, and much like a puppet.. It's a defence mechanism that got activated awhile ago, but I can't seem to turn it off now. It would probably ease if I found something meaningfull again, and kept away from those who trigger it.

  2. #32
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    My INFJ best friend always has some sort of internal conflict, but I can temporarily settle it with my "everything is going to be ok" attitude. Most of the stuff he worries about is irrelevant. When it's important though, a mixture of common sense and my attitude fixes it. Yet he still insists the stuff is a problem... When we talk our mixture of minds is like
    Wait do INFPs have those? <-- total generalization but the huge number (3) of INFP's I've known.

  3. #33
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Wait do INFPs have those? <-- total generalization but the huge number (3) of INFP's I've known.
    I expect the worst, and hope for the best. That is the INFP attitude from the people I know. It seems like a voodoo sin to say that the worst will happen, even though we know what it is.

    Maybe an example will be better.

    My friend (INFJ): "God dude... I have no idea what I am supposed to do. She just isn't opening up (ISTJ girlfriend), I don't know if she's lying to me or what... She is definately hiding something from me. I hate that, it really bothers me."

    Me: "Why the hell would she be lying to you? You are looking into this WAY too much... You have her Myspace info, her Facebook info, and she makes you hold on to her phone in public since she doesn't usually have pockets, and I KNOW you have checked her text messages... Come on. Why do you honestly think that she is lying to you, from everything you've seen it should be fine. Give her some time, and don't push her."

    Him: "Yeah I guess you're right... I shouldn't worry about it. I have no idea why I'm so paranoid about it."

    Me: "It's understandable if you love her... I'd be paranoid to lose someone like her too. Don't worry it's gonna be fine. Maybe she is stressed over being in the student council."

    All the while I'm thinking:

    "Well... She could be cheating on him. She HAS been pretty private lately for some reason."

    Even though it seems awful to think of something like that.

    If you wanted to know, that situation turned out fine. I prevented him from over reacting to his false interpretation of the situation.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  4. #34
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    ^ I have been a subject of an INFP comforting me that way. Unfortunately I knew her too well, and she does think like that..

  5. #35
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sade View Post
    ^ I have been a subject of an INFP comforting me that way. Unfortunately I knew her too well, and she does think like that..
    Yeah this happens to me and him a lot... He will know that I'm thinking the worst.

    The point of it is that we are projecting onto you the positives about the situation, and that the negatives are irrelevant. It isn't to be taken that we believe the worst will happen, we believe the best will happen. We just keep the worst close by to prevent the worst from happening.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  6. #36
    it's a nuclear device antireconciler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quietmusician View Post
    I'm always looking for something to complete the puzzle, but I usually end up going in circles.
    That feeling in particular is probably one of the hardest things to face. So often some innocent exploration of something I'm troubled by suddenly gets linked to a much deeper and darker pattern which has been traversed throughout my own history seemingly endlessly. The whole thing is completely bereft of freshness. It's stale and it stinks and one only gets the feeling that this path has utterly no ending, that everything linked to it is pointless and hopeless, and moreover, you feel embarrassed for it and sick with yourself for finding yourself in such a shameful dynamic.

    But you have to face it. You must not run. You must not eject yourself from your thoughts and take some refuge in sensible, worldly things. And it takes a degree of commitment to yourself to do this. It takes some discipline. It takes heart, and it takes courage. But you can do it. Despite the stale rotting atmosphere, begin to look with new eyes. Ask questions. Take nothing for granted except your own strength. Bring your inspiration, your light, your beauty, your life, and your mercy to this dead place. Take heart! ... and it will transform before you. It is this power which moves mountains.
    ~ a n t i r e c o n c i l e r
    What is death, dies.
    What is life, lives.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    Yeah this happens to me and him a lot... He will know that I'm thinking the worst.

    The point of it is that we are projecting onto you the positives about the situation, and that the negatives are irrelevant. It isn't to be taken that we believe the worst will happen, we believe the best will happen. We just keep the worst close by to prevent the worst from happening.
    Oh I didn't mean anything bad, and I appreciate that. I don't think it's bad to think of it, only realistic.
    The unfortunate thing was that once I get a wiff of what the worst is (and that she's thinking about it too), I want to put it in the spotlight and contemplate if it really is possible. Or how to confirm or throw the thought away, pros and cons.. ^^'

  8. #38
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sade View Post
    Oh I didn't mean anything bad, and I appreciate that. I don't think it's bad to think of it, only realistic.
    The unfortunate thing was that once I get a wiff of what the worst is (and that she's thinking about it too), I want to put it in the spotlight and contemplate if it really is possible. Or how to confirm or throw the thought away, pros and cons.. ^^'
    I have a bad habit of that too, it's human nature to worry. Just INFJs take worrying to a whole new level.

    It's amazing how different the INFs are from each other. I can't see how people even compare them with each other. The same seems to go with the INTs also, INTJs and INTPs are nothing alike to each other yet are compared all the time. I'd say the best comparison for the NFs would be to swap the N with S. I can relate a lot with ISFPs, more than INFJs in the whole problem solving and worrying department.
    Last edited by BlackCat; 01-09-2009 at 02:15 PM. Reason: added INT thing.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    INTJs and INTPs are nothing alike to each other yet are compared all the time.
    Oddly, I think the smarter we get, the more alike we become. You know, now that I think about it, it's not that odd. Huh.

    Carry on.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Dwigie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by penelope View Post
    This has been driving me crazy lately. I actually got into MBTI to try to understand why I struggle so much internally, finding that the J is responsible for so much of it.

    I was writing in my journal last night over something that has been causing me to lose sleep for the past two weeks, and I quoted this:



    I find that to be incredibly true of me. I find that I'm constantly anxious, stressed, or losing sleep over struggling to answer the self-imposed questions I leave myself, trying to better understand my actions, feelings, and motives.

    It's been tormenting me so much lately, especially since I can't pinpoint the reason for my latest internal struggle. It makes me wish I weren't an introvert, so I wouldn't feel so at home in my head and the rubix cube I feel so impelled to solve. It makes me wish I weren't a feeler, so I wouldn't be so strongly affected and tormented by my emotions. It makes me wish I were more of a perceiver instead of a judger so I could let things go. But I would never give up the strength of my intuition. Without it, I think I would be perpetually lost.

    Not sure what I'm trying to get across. Do other INFJs suffer so much as well? Have you learned any tricks to make it easier?
    I used to do so. I changed now, I'm not like this anymore.
    I simply accept that "I am what I am" and that constant self-analysis leads nowhere. I used to be extremely immature and let people tell me what to be, if "you break your back trying to be all things to all people" ring a bell to you join the club.
    Really....It's a "brand new concept"(some people have lived that way all their lives.No wonder they're so happy)and life is just so much better ever since. No depression, no unrealistic expectations, no trying to be this or that, I don't think I've ever felt better in my entire life.
    Well, in my experience that is...
    My presumably isfp friend is the complete opposite of a worrier and thank goodness for that.She really "lightens up everything".
    Sometimes I feel like I'm "on Mercury"-

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