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  1. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    Well I'm still trying to recover from one INTJ girl breaking my heart. So I can't say my views on the prospects of INFJ-INTJ relations is very positive.

    I'll say this: I'm somewhat stuck in between a rock and a hard place here. On one hand, I don't really want her back in my life, yet at the same time I can't completely forget about her either. A colleague said it was a conflict between my Ni and Fe. My Ni has moved on, but my Fe hasn't.

    Can anyother INFJs relate to this conflict?
    Yes, I look at it as a conflict between the conscious and subconscious mind. Consciously you know it's over and nothing's going to happen further (if that's what you're thinking), but your subconscious takes more time to believe this. Eventually it catches up though and everything aligns.

  2. #142
    Senior Member penelope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Erudur View Post
    Hey, an INTJ here. I'm not sure I belong in this conversation as the "relationships are their achilles heal - INTJ" type but what the hey. I think we INTJs are probably the closest to the INFJ without being one...that intense Ni preference and all. My problem is having the game to get into the relationship. Once I'm there I've always been quite comfortable. I've never had a regret after leaving a relationship, but don't she ever did either.

    I am surprised that no one has asked what kind of personalities these "regret" guys had? That seems really relevant. The common denominator may lie there. So, INFJs, tell us about these guys...

    That is if this conversation is still alive. I had to really start skimming to catch up before posting.

    I've never dated an INFJ. I am intrigued and frightened by you at the same time. The one confirmed potential INFJ mate I knew also frightened me, but more than she intrigued me. I don' think she was a healthy one.
    I've been trying to find out what the types of the guys in my past that showed that "regret". I'll be back when I do... haha.

    But for the record, two were INFJ guys (which is suprising, considering), I'm guessing that the others were ESFP, ENFP, INFx,.

  3. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by karenk View Post
    Yes, I look at it as a conflict between the conscious and subconscious mind. Consciously you know it's over and nothing's going to happen further (if that's what you're thinking), but your subconscious takes more time to believe this. Eventually it catches up though and everything aligns.
    Yeah that's what happened last time a girl really broke my heart. It's just a shame it has to take so long. It's literally been a year since I last talked to her. Although these periods are usually ones of great personal growth as well, so it evens out.

  4. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    Yeah that's what happened last time a girl really broke my heart. It's just a shame it has to take so long. It's literally been a year since I last talked to her. Although these periods are usually ones of great personal growth as well, so it evens out.
    That's the time frame I experienced when I was in that situation.

  5. #145
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    Yeah that's what happened last time a girl really broke my heart. It's just a shame it has to take so long. It's literally been a year since I last talked to her. Although these periods are usually ones of great personal growth as well, so it evens out.
    I've only been in love once in my life, and when the relationship ended, I grieved about it for over two years. Love shouldn't come or go quickly if it's real.

  6. #146
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Give poor Penelope a break, people. She's just venting.


    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    I've only been in love once in my life, and when the relationship ended, I grieved about it for over two years. Love shouldn't come or go quickly if it's real.
    Same exact thing for me.

  7. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by penelope View Post
    I'm wondering if this is the case for other INFJs...

    I can count maybe 4-5 guys who have passed me up in the past who have admitted that they regret letting me go, passing me up, or letting me get away.
    I would never have let you get away, Kelly.

  8. #148
    Senior Member penelope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stayne Falls View Post
    I would never have let you get away, Kelly.
    Well, fancy that. How'd you find yourself over here Kienan?

  9. #149
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Harking back to some earlier posts on who's complex and who's not, time to represent (making it up as I go...)

    INXJ pride.

    Isn't it supposed to be that INXJs build up gigantic pictures inside themselves of what is real. It's how we do our dominant Ni thing. And it's supposed to be semi-conscious except when the judgment function's digging around focusing stuff.

    But it's all there, and spills out only over time. So, yep, we's mo complex'n you guys.

    (Here's the line in the sand.... any other INs wanna make some claims?)

    Might not be true, dunno, but if it is, then INFJs have the added fillip of being touchy about it too. Hello mysterious layers.


    But maybe on the OP idea, it's just that INXJs are supposed to be the acutely accurate truth telling advisors. INFJs probably bug people a lot with that one but it could easily be something you miss when it's gone. (And you would miss it because if you were with an INFJ ever, you'd have to have liked being advised at least a little, or been deaf.)

  10. #150

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    INXJ pride.

    Isn't it supposed to be that INXJs build up gigantic pictures inside themselves of what is real. It's how we do our dominant Ni thing. And it's supposed to be semi-conscious except when the judgment function's digging around focusing stuff.

    But it's all there, and spills out only over time. So, yep, we's mo complex'n you guys.

    (Here's the line in the sand.... any other INs wanna make some claims?)

    Might not be true, dunno, but if it is, then INFJs have the added fillip of being touchy about it too. Hello mysterious layers.
    OMG! We're like ogres and onions. (Gratuitous movie quote.)

    But seriously, I just googled INFJ + complex and turned up a number of quotes correlating the two as a noun/descriptor relationship. I also googled INTJ + complex and turned up a number of quotes correlating the two as a noun/ability relationship.

    Coincidence? Possible, but unlikely. Epic fail by most "typing" informational sites? Possible, but unlikely.

    I get the "spidey sense" that the real reason this notion was contested was that others believed INxJs to be holding a monopoly on this attribute, which is untrue. I can certainly think of other people that qualify as complex... I think ENTPs are a fine example.

    Let it be said --complexity is not the same as intentional inscrutability, which has the nasty tendency to be wielded like a cudgel to "keep the mortals at bay."

    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    But maybe on the OP idea, it's just that INXJs are supposed to be the acutely accurate truth telling advisors. INFJs probably bug people a lot with that one but it could easily be something you miss when it's gone. (And you would miss it because if you were with an INFJ ever, you'd have to have liked being advised at least a little, or been deaf.)
    You may have hit upon something here. Of course, I'd have to ask my exes to be sure of this and I don't know if I'm up to excavatory research. You first for academic purposes!

    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

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