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Thread: INFJ personal relations

  1. #31


    That's interesting. I'm actually an open book and have no problem talking about my personal life.

    Alas, maybe without my livejournal, and my 3-5 updates a day (haha), and it being friends-locked, I wouldn't be so open.

  2. #32
    4x9 Array cascadeco's Avatar
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    Oct 2007
    4 so/sp


    Quote Originally Posted by AgentOrange View Post
    I was recently reminded of this in the welcome thread. I, unfortunately, don't have the chance to be around too many INFJ's, but the ones that I do have the pleasure of being close to are usually pretty open me, but SO guarded around most people. I mean they're fine sharing ideas, and are pretty sociable, but like to keep feelings or details of their life to themselves much more than most types.

    This has been quite relevant once I started dating an INFJ, because I'm a LOT more open about my personal life. I make sure I keep pretty tight lipped about him, to be respectful of his wishes. However, he still teases me for "ruining his image" because people are beginning to think he's human :rolli: .

    Is this something that anyone else has noticed?
    I don't know if I can relate or not. I guess in the sense that I don't voluntarily talk about myself, it's true. You know, some people just start spontaneously talking about their life to others, but I don't. I tend to only open up when people question me, and really act like they want to know about me. Then I might be much more open and talkative. But otherwise, I may not talk a whole lot because I don't want to talk about myself if I don't know for sure if the other person *really* wants to hear it.

    I guess my 'default' mode is to question others and get them to start talking and opening up. Usually they are happy to do so, and then they rarely turn the table and question me. So I then don't end up talking a whole lot, because the other person's talking the majority of the time.

    Maybe some of it's protection, I don't know. I definitely get self-conscious when the spotlight's on me - always have. I'm starting to stop trying to psychoanalyze myself when it comes to this stuff, because it doesn't do a whole lot of good. Maybe it's because in late elementary school and into junior high I started getting rejected by peers, even former friends leaving me because I wasn't 'cool' enough, so I then turned fully inward and by high school was pretty much a mute and was wholly in an internal world, just observing everyone else around me, for the most part.

    I started turning that around in college - made a conscious effort of doing so. Then by my early to mid 20's I worked on all the emotional stuff and tried to stop automatically bottling stuff up and 'hiding'. Then starting a few yrs ago, I've just in general become much more open in who I am, and am no longer afraid of sharing with others. So I now consider myself to be a pretty open person. Quiet, yes, and like I said in the first paragraph, I have to know it'll reach a receptive listener. But I don't have the fear and mistrust that really filled me earlier in life.
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  3. #33
    Senior Member Array mwv6r's Avatar
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    Nov 2008


    That describes most of the INFJs I know, but for whatever reason I find that I'm fairly "open-book" with pretty much all my friends and even most acquaintances. Sometimes I have to reel myself in because I'll find that I'm getting too carried away divulging personal information...

  4. #34
    Senior Member Array the state i am in's Avatar
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    Feb 2009
    5w4 sx/sp


    i'm very protective of my self-image. i am VERY careful, generally, with giving people too much information about my own private life, and it's only recently that i've realized that trusting other people with priviliged information shows you value them, that you are willing to give pieces of yourself to them (tho it can also quickly become a burdensome thing if you can't deal with it yourself).

    it's like i absorb everything anyone else could possibly think or feel about me, from every imaginable angle. then, regardless of how I internally feel, it affects/effects me. it sticks to the big mass and becomes a part of who i am. i think this is part of the reason why i feel infjs want that grounding attachment to something HUGELY significant (so, etc). sway the popular vote.

  5. #35
    Cat Wench Array ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    Jan 2009
    6w7 sx/sp
    IEI Ni


    I have a terrible time trusting people with my true complete thoughts, as I have deemed in my expirence, they just don't understand, aside from other INFJs (healthy ones) I dont find opening alot of this stuff up useful.
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