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  1. #21
    Senior Member Silent Stars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by karenk View Post
    I think we may have been raised in the same religion...
    haha, yeah...I am a Christian, though nothing at all like her (and the rest of my family). *shudders*

  2. #22
    Sniffles
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    What exactly would you consider yourself Silent?

  3. #23
    Senior Member Silent Stars's Avatar
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    I don't think I really fit into any sort of denomination...not even non-denominational, either (I used to go to one of those churches...didn't much like it. Heard about a lot of things while I was there that really turned me off to it, and I didn't agree with some of what they preached. The pastor there actually supported my mom in kicking me out; saying some nonsense like there's a "demonic aura" about me. Freakin' nutcase....it's too bad the people who go there don't know how he really is.).

  4. #24
    Sniffles
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    My cousins went to a non-denominational Church, I couldn't stand it.

    I can understand the concern about Satanic music, but to immediately attribute that to demonic influence is a little strange to me. I mean we Catholics perform excorcisms, yet we acknowledge those as rare and rather extraordinary cases.

    I sincerely hope you and your mother can come to some reconcilation. I mean yes our families can piss us off big time, but they're still family.

    I'm certainly willing to offer any spiritual support if you need it.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Silent Stars's Avatar
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    We're not on bad terms, but I just don't even bother talking to her about anything regarding my faith or how I think, or really anything that is more in-depth than casual conversation, as she doesn't even remotely get anything I say (unhealthy ESFJ...), and projects her views on me by putting me on guilt trips and talking over me whenever I'm trying to explain things in as simple of terms as is humanly possible.

  6. #26
    It's always something... PuddleRiver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nat View Post



    I get a feeling with people that tells me whether it is or isn't a good idea to let them in...
    Quote Originally Posted by AgentOrange View Post

    I've often wondered if INFJ's growing up shared things about themselves, and had a lot of people not understand them and were totally crushed by it, especially if those people they trusted ridiculed them in some way.
    Yes on both counts.
    "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay one invincible summer."
    ~~~~
    A Christian's life may be the only Bible some people ever read.
    ~~~~
    "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them" Maya Angelou.
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    I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ" Gandhi
    ~~~~

  7. #27
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    They still do, and I'm a mature woman. It gets tiresome constantly being told you're weird or peculiar. I can take it because I know time is on my side -- as they see things play out, they will see I knew what I was talking about -- but then they think that's weird, too.

  8. #28
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AgentOrange View Post
    INFJ's seem to be individuals with a lot of emotional depth who have a really unique way of looking at the world and I don't know how to word it.. things are really personal to them. It's like their words and actions are an extension of themselves more so than other types.

    I've often wondered if INFJ's growing up shared things about themselves, and had a lot of people not understand them and were totally crushed by it, especially if those people they trusted ridiculed them in some way.
    That is pretty much it for me.

    Then what happens, is, as children, some of us (or at least me) might develop avoidant coping mechanisms. I remember I started attaching to people only on a surface level--keeping people an arm's length away. Of course, that doesn't work in the adult world. It causes all sorts of emotional and relational problems, and it's quite a bit of work and time to re-establish better coping strategies. The worst of it all is, regardless of the changes, that tendency to back away and keep specifics private is never going to go away.

    I don't know. Perhaps INFJs have avoidant tendencies to a certain degree. But I'm probably over-simplifying things based on my own bias.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

  9. #29
    Junior Member moonlit_reveries's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=AgentOrange;469851

    I've often wondered if INFJ's growing up shared things about themselves, and had a lot of people not understand them and were totally crushed by it, especially if those people they trusted ridiculed them in some way.
    .[/QUOTE]

    That's exactly what happened in my case. I was seen as weird or confusing when I shared myself and my ideas openly and so I turned away from that and am more guarded with self disclosure and getting close to people always feels like a risk, but yet the closeness is something I crave so I usually take the risk anyway. I'm extremely open and self revealing with those I know and trust, but quite guarded, impersonal and perhaps superficial with strangers.
    ~INFJ~
    -4w3 so/sx or sx/so

    "Ideals are like the stars: we never reach them, but like the mariners of the sea, we chart our course by them."

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by moonlit_reveries View Post
    That's exactly what happened in my case. I was seen as weird or confusing when I shared myself and my ideas openly and so I turned away from that and am more guarded with self disclosure and getting close to people always feels like a risk, but yet the closeness is something I crave so I usually take the risk anyway. I'm extremely open and self revealing with those I know and trust, but quite guarded, impersonal and perhaps superficial with strangers.
    Yes in the early years my real self wasn't received well so I tried not to share anything. I'm sure this isn't unusual for a 4 because the creation of a 4 is real or perceived rejection in the early years. ha. I still find there are more benefits to being private. I wonder if other private INFJs run into issues with certain types being offended when you aren't immediately an open book. I have run into this problem. So far it's happened to be with SFs.

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