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  1. #1
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    Default Heirarchies anyone?

    I am curious. Indulge me if you will,lol.

    I have a very elaborate and well defined heirarchy system for any relationship situation- even emotional attatchments to things. I know who or what I would save in any hanging off a cliff and you can only save one scenario,lol.

    I have a heirarchy for top closest people or a ranking of personal relationships- things I would grab if the house were to catch on fire-favorite and most prized possessions, even the rooms in the house are ranked, I have an emotional heirarchy system for everything,lol. There can be ties too in my system and somethings are just put in a tier,lol. Other things are very very defned one by one though,lol.

    Based on the tier a person is at in my rankings of relationship also determines the budget for gifts for them. If you are an aquantance it is between nothing and 5 dollars,lol. To me, the price and thought of a gift is very deliberate and is very dependent and reflective on how close I feel to the person,lol. This also includes the time I put into and share in the relationship and how involved and interested I am in the person's lives- it is based on where they are in the closeness and ranking factor,lol.

    My husband is an ENTP and is the complete opposite. A stranger that he clicks with - he'll be able to be as close to as someone he's known since high school and he'll spend the same amount of money and time on people be it aquaintance or good friend, my ESTP best friend is like that as well,lol. They have a heirarchy but it is a lot looser and not as defined and is a lot more basic.

    Is this an NF thing or maybe an NFJ thing since it deals a lot with relationships? Or maybe just a basic crazy person thing?
    Can anyone else relate?
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
    Play and Vote July 14th to Aug 14th
    http://www.appsforhealthykids.com/ap...ing-vegetables

  2. #2
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I do not pre-plan any hierarchies.

    I like to get what is appropriate for the person or would connect. If it is someone I really like and/or value, then I will splurge if necessary if I see something that they would either love or that I think really really reflects who they are.

    If it is just an acquaintance, they are stuck with (1) whatever I happen to see and (2) what my mood happens to be at the time. I feel less need to spend on people who are not as close to me, but I also sometimes enjoy just giving to someone 'just because.' so someone might luck out.

    I don't know what I would save if there was a fire or an incident. It would depend on the moment itself -- how much time I had, how I could maximize what I saved, etc.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #3
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    Default

    I must add that the confusing part of this is that I do not believe in heirarchies for respect and everyone is on the same level in my opinion.
    I don't think I'm better or worse then anyone and I don't believe anyone is better or worse then me. Example, I talk to and treat children the same way that I do with adults-I talk to them like they are people too.

    The handicapped- children- the elderly- the rich- the poor- none of these things should matter- to me everyone should be treated with the same respect. This also means that I get just as offended by anyone doesn't matter their sitaution or age- if I am disrepected by them.

    I don't believe in rankings or heirarchies for respect or worth but I do rank personal relationships and attatchments to people. I just thought that there should be that distinction made.
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
    Play and Vote July 14th to Aug 14th
    http://www.appsforhealthykids.com/ap...ing-vegetables

  4. #4
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    In the case of a fire: Cats and photo album. This is of course, assuming the people in the house are out and safe. Everything else is replaceable.

    In terms of gifts, more thought goes into the ones going to the people I care the most about - no matter how long I've known them. I bought gifts two weeks ago on MY birthday for other people, because they were The Perfect Gifts. I squirrel presents away that I find when not really looking because finding something special for some people is next to impossible.

    I have favourite things (mug for my coffee, comfy t-shirt for sleeping in, cat, etc), but not everything is ranked; a lot of things I don't really think about, or rather, these things don't matter to me. I could take them or leave them. I've had to make an effort not to use the word 'whatever' when asked a choice between two things I don't much have an opinion on. I must now say, "I am easy either way, you decide which you'd prefer" - it preempts many arguements.

    I do have a hierarchy in terms of who I make allowances for; it gets a workout every day when the phone rings, or a request is made of my time.

    I suppose the answer is yes, I do use a similar system - for things that matter to me.

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  5. #5
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladypinkington View Post
    I have a heirarchy for top closest people or a ranking of personal relationships- things I would grab if the house were to catch on fire-favorite and most prized possessions, even the rooms in the house are ranked, I have an emotional heirarchy system for everything,lol. There can be ties too in my system and somethings are just put in a tier,lol. Other things are very very defned one by one though,lol.
    J, please let me introduce you to P;

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I do not pre-plan any hierarchies.
    P, please let me introduce you to J;

    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    I do have a hierarchy in terms of who I make allowances for; it gets a workout every day when the phone rings, or a request is made of my time.
    ---------------------

    Quote Originally Posted by Natrushka View Post
    I suppose the answer is yes, I do use a similar system - for things that matter to me.
    T, please let me inroduce you to F;

    Quote Originally Posted by ladypinkington View Post
    I have a heirarchy for top closest people or a ranking of personal relationships- things I would grab if the house were to catch on fire-favorite and most prized possessions, even the rooms in the house are ranked, I have an emotional heirarchy system for everything,lol.
    F, please let me introduce you to T;

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    It would depend on the moment itself -- how much time I had, how I could maximize what I saved, etc.

    All jokes aside, that is pretty much the two dimensions. Js favor structure and order, so they create structure and order. The first operand of any J is to create structure around their closest items, to order them. The order appears as contingencies all the way to filing systems.

    What we all care about differs based on individual whims, but there will be a bias towards cost-benefit in the T approach, while the F will have a more subjective personal value approach.

    Ps will rarely structure the items that are around them until it becomes a hinderance. For example, my desk is a mess. My files are a mess. My computer has become a rats nest despite my best efforts. However, my courses, my current fixation of discipline, are actually "perfect". I have revision numbers, draft forms, instructions, files. As such, we won't tier out multiple items... well, very rarely, until the situation requires it.

  6. #6
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    J, please let me introduce you to P;



    P, please let me introduce you to J;



    ---------------------



    T, please let me inroduce you to F;



    F, please let me introduce you to T;




    All jokes aside, that is pretty much the two dimensions. Js favor structure and order, so they create structure and order. The first operand of any J is to create structure around their closest items, to order them. The order appears as contingencies all the way to filing systems.

    What we all care about differs based on individual whims, but there will be a bias towards cost-benefit in the T approach, while the F will have a more subjective personal value approach.

    Ps will rarely structure the items that are around them until it becomes a hinderance. For example, my desk is a mess. My files are a mess. My computer has become a rats nest despite my best efforts. However, my courses, my current fixation of discipline, are actually "perfect". I have revision numbers, draft forms, instructions, files. As such, we won't tier out multiple items... well, very rarely, until the situation requires it.
    Well done!
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
    Play and Vote July 14th to Aug 14th
    http://www.appsforhealthykids.com/ap...ing-vegetables

  7. #7
    Senior Member nottaprettygal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladypinkington View Post
    I have an emotional heirarchy system for everything,lol.
    I think it's odd that you consider this hierachy to be emotional at all. To me, it sounds like a rigid system based on points that you assign a person based on their relationship to you. It's the opposite of emotional. It's systematic and kind of dispassionate, actually.

  8. #8
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nottaprettygal View Post
    I think it's odd that you consider this hierachy to be emotional at all. To me, it sounds like a rigid system based on points that you assign a person based on their relationship to you. It's the opposite of emotional. It's systematic and kind of dispassionate, actually.
    Listen, if I didn't do that- then how would I know what choice to make on who or what to save in the hanging off a cliff scenario,lol.

    It's actually not as systematic and dispassionate as it may sound to you.
    I don't necessarily give out points- but I do have favortisms if that makes sense that just build over time. I am closer to some people then others and I am aware of how much or how close I feel to everything or everyone and that is why I can rank or organize them. It is more of an awareness factor.

    I don't actually run around with a tangible list. It's all in file in my head and my heart. I am also always wanting to grow all of the relationships I have with people- so if anything people are constantly moving up until maybe one day they'll all be on a tie,lol. That would actually be ideal to me. I would love to be as close to as many people as I am to my closest people but that often seems impossible and unrealistic.

    It's really really hard for a person to move down in the list- they have to actively try to become distant from me and hurt me constantly.
    I have a loyalty and a sacred bond with everything I am attatched to- so being further down on the list doesn't mean it doesn't have significant meaning to me. Example- I love my house and I love all the rooms in my house- but I just like to be in some rooms more then others or like the ways that some rooms look more then others but am glad to have and like all the rooms. I am very aware of the strengths of bonds I feel with things and people and am aware of the difference in measure of bond.
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
    Play and Vote July 14th to Aug 14th
    http://www.appsforhealthykids.com/ap...ing-vegetables

  9. #9
    Pareo cattus Natrushka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    All jokes aside, that is pretty much the two dimensions. Js favor structure and order, so they create structure and order. The first operand of any J is to create structure around their closest items, to order them. The order appears as contingencies all the way to filing systems.
    A most entertaining and informative post, PT.

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  10. #10
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I tend to go more for semi-centralized strenths application, but that's just me...
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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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