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[MBTI General] Help me with some INFJ bait...

Samvega

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So I have used craigslist over the years to buy and sell cars, hire employes and do at least 200 different transactions. I have also used it to a slight degree for my own entertainment/social experiment.

The last time I did so I put up a very blunt post in the men seeking women section. It was a rant about dating and I walked a line of being a total ass hole. I ended up having no less than 50 people respond to it, a few were to curse me out but mostly they were positive. At the same time I posted another with the same title condemning my other post and stating that while I had all the same qualities I would never be so disrespectful and so on. Of course nobody responded to that post.

Now to be clear, I am honest about who I am and I am not wasting peoples time for my own enjoyment. If I met the right person this way I would of course be open to a relationship. I responded to everybody including the people that bitched me out. In fact I ended up dating (for a short time) the only girl that was my type and she was one of the girls that emailed me to bash me saying, "You have to be the most conceited man I have ever come across. I’m sure you think that is a compliment, let me assure you it's not."

Anyway, I was in the shower thinking, I wonder if I could come up with a post that would call out any one type. Being an ENTP I could word a post that would get a heavily ENTP response so I'm wondering if anybody has ideas to help come up with one that will draw out INFJs.

I'm thinking a tile along the lines of "Do you HATE talking on the phone"?

So anybody care to help with this experiment?
 

Jack Flak

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The last time I did so I put up a very blunt post in the men seeking women section. It was a rant about dating and I walked a line of being a total ass hole. I ended up having no less than 50 people respond to it, a few were to curse me out but mostly they were positive. At the same time I posted another with the same title condemning my other post and stating that while I had all the same qualities I would never be so disrespectful and so on. Of course nobody responded to that post.
That's hilariously indicative of the sad reality of attraction. Fer sher.
 

Samvega

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That's hilariously indicative of the sad reality of attraction. Fer sher.

Totally agree! What's sad to me is that as a good hearted, kind and honest man if I want to find a good woman I seemingly have to play the bad boy. I have no interest in playing those games now but when I was younger without a clear picture of the kind of woman I wanted to be with I had to.

I am very self aware, full of flaws (and upfront and honest about them) and working on them all or keeping them in check, there's no way that as such I can compete with a guy that's hiding all his issues thus appearing perfect.
 

Amargith

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A lot of women like an arrogant jerk, because they often shows intensity, passion and animalistic tendencies.

As much as respect is important , there apparently is something sexually attractive about a man who goes: "Screw all of that, I'm gonna take what I want, no matter what anyone says." It's that attitude that a lot of women find a turn on.

The man who can walk the fine line between animalistic while remaining respectful will make a lot of women weak in the knees.
 

Samvega

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The man who can walk the fine line between animalistic while remaining respectful will make a lot of women weak in the knees.

That's super but damn I don't want a lot of women, I just want one.

I do walk that line well, I'm bad enough I will keep things exciting and keep you on your toes but not so bad you're going to get a call from me at 3am to come bail me out of jail and get the car out of impound.

The reality is I'm a home body and when it's all said and done and I have an edge, I take educated risks but never get careless or stupid. I mean, I don't drink, smoke or do drugs, how much of a bad boy could I really be?

Soooo, any thoughts on some INFJ bait?
 

Amargith

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That's super but damn I don't want a lot of women, I just want one.

I do walk that line well, I'm bad enough I will keep things exciting and keep you on your toes but not so bad you're going to get a call from me at 3am to come bail me out of jail and get the car out of impound.

The reality is I'm a home body and when it's all said and done and I have an edge, I take educated risks but never get careless or stupid. I mean, I don't drink, smoke or do drugs, how much of a bad boy could I really be?

Soooo, any thoughts on some INFJ bait?

You sound like a very good catch. Can't help you though with that one though, as I'm no INFJ :)
 

jaku

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eh...

im an INFJ but i'm a dude INFJ. i don't personally know any INFJ females.
i actually suspect many if not most INFJ females don't readily see how they could benefit from being a relationship in the traditional dating / commitment to a partner sense, as it is for many many reasons.
it's for this reasons i think you will have a difficulty catching, via craigslist, an INFJ female to date.
i would think most INTJs don't HATE talking on the phone but instead are altogether impartial. it's not part of who defines you as a person, so it's hard to really have a strong opinion about it.
but good luck.?
there isn't really anything you can bait an INFJ with as baiting involves some amount of deceit or trickery and simply put it's hard to make a person who's so aware of the way everything interacts with everything head unknowingly in any direction when they have already discovered the deeper meaning of the situation.
 

Lauren Ashley

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Are you sure you want a relationship specifically with an INFJ? I think INFJs can be pretty intense emotionally in relationships and this is not for everyone, especially EPs who tend to like a lighter, "fun" approach.
 

Lexicon

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im an INFJ but i'm a dude INFJ. i don't personally know any INFJ females.
i actually suspect many if not most INFJ females don't readily see how they could benefit from being a relationship in the traditional dating / commitment to a partner sense, as it is for many many reasons.
it's for this reasons i think you will have a difficulty catching, via craigslist, an INFJ female to date.
i would think most INTJs don't HATE talking on the phone but instead are altogether impartial. it's not part of who defines you as a person, so it's hard to really have a strong opinion about it.
but good luck.?
there isn't really anything you can bait an INFJ with as baiting involves some amount of deceit or trickery and simply put it's hard to make a person who's so aware of the way everything interacts with everything head unknowingly in any direction when they have already discovered the deeper meaning of the situation.

Agreed.

I'm not sure I've ever visited craigslist for anything, actually. I've especially never considered it as a potential dating tool. Or anything else as a means of finding someone to date, for that matter.
Things just happen.

I can't say really how an INTJ would feel about talking on the phone, but I'm sort of around 65/35 on the Feeling-Thinking area. Personally, I use the phone just to make plans, get information, etc. Or "counsel" friends who call me at all hours. There are exceptions to that rule, however, if we somehow stumble upon an engrossing enough topic (like philosophy, psychology or varying arts/sciences), and you're engaging enough about it.
Basically, regular gossip, & other varieties of "small-talk" is difficult for this INFJ on any platform for communication. I have a couple of INT/F friends who can keep me on the phone for a decent amount of time.

And btw... your signature. Ha, awesome.
 

cascadeco

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Personally, I use the phone just to make plans, get information, etc.

Basically, regular gossip, & other varieties of "small-talk" is difficult for this INFJ on any platform for communication.

Tend to agree. Never been a phone person. I only see it as a tool to make plans or whatever; I don't use it to actually carry on a conversation (in general). There's a certain awkwardness in the phone for me; it's possibly due to my not being able to see the other persons' facial expression or read their body language as they're talking, as the non-verbal in real life is half of what I go off of in getting to know a person.

There have been a rare couple of individuals though who I haven't minded just chatting with on the phone. But it's a fine line...I get really impatient with endless talk - I used to have a friend who'd talk my ear off on the phone for nearly an hour at a time, which could be very tiring. If I can't get a word in edgewise, it isn't really a conversation for me - I become just an earpiece.

Sidenote - even my best friends who have moved to another state, I only talk to maybe a couple of times a yr via phone. Doesn't take away from how I still feel about them, as when I do talk to them, it's as if time hadn't really passed by, and we're immediately on the same page again.

jakuwhat said:
i actually suspect many if not most INFJ females don't readily see how they could benefit from being a relationship in the traditional dating / commitment to a partner sense, as it is for many many reasons.
it's for this reasons i think you will have a difficulty catching, via craigslist, an INFJ female to date.

I'd agree.

Also, I've never been on craigslist, and I've never heard my other two INFJ friends mention they've been on it either. We use other avenues for the various things craigslist is used for. And for myself, I don't really trust craigslist.;) Too many unknowns, especially with regards to meeting people. I have utilized dating sites though in the past. [But I suppose one could argue those are just as random as craigslist!]

I think if you're just 100% real, you can't go too wrong. Then it's just a matter of whether there's any connection, similar ground, and chemistry. INFJ's would be able to sniff out deception, and if they caught any, I'd say good luck at mending that!
 

briochick

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*laughs and scratches back of head* well, I'm an infj girl and I think that if you just put something paraphrasing your second and third post on here it might work pretty well. At least, if most infj women are like me than it would definitely work. Of course, reading the first post and hearing the term 'baiting' makes me wonder if this isn't another social experiment of yours. o_O
 

Lexicon

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Of course, reading the first post and hearing the term 'baiting' makes me wonder if this isn't another social experiment of yours. o_O



A little INFJ suspicion is always healthy. :D
 
V

violaine

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Also, I've never been on craigslist, and I've never heard my other two INFJ friends mention they've been on it either. We use other avenues for the various things craigslist is used for. And for myself, I don't really trust craigslist.;) Too many unknowns, especially with regards to meeting people...

+ 1

I would never date off of craigslist. (I do like reading 'missed connections' from time to time though, aww ;)). Perhaps if you write something sincere and post it there you may have a better chance. Though asking INFJs for advice about INFJs is rather effective too, lol.
 

Lexicon

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There have been a rare couple of individuals though who I haven't minded just chatting with on the phone. But it's a fine line...I get really impatient with endless talk - I used to have a friend who'd talk my ear off on the phone for nearly an hour at a time, which could be very tiring. If I can't get a word in edgewise, it isn't really a conversation for me - I become just an impassive earpiece.

I definitely dislike the sense of serving as a sounding-board without substantial purpose.


Sidenote - even my best friends who have moved to another state, I only talk to maybe a couple of times a yr via phone. Doesn't take away from how I still feel about them, as when I do talk to them, it's as if time hadn't really passed by, and we're immediately on the same page again.


I LOVE that... I've managed that, with a few certain friends, for at least a decade. I've also had a pen-pal over in the UK since I was about 9 (Generational-thing our mothers actually got us into; they'd become pen-pals as children via some school program). We've hung out in-person about 5 times, and written letters sporadically. Phone conversations are rare. And brief. When we do get together, there's no odd transitioning, for the most part. We can just pick right up where we left off.
 

Kestrel

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Are you sure you want a relationship specifically with an INFJ? I think INFJs can be pretty intense emotionally in relationships and this is not for everyone, especially EPs who tend to like a lighter, "fun" approach.

Yeah, I don't understand this. There seems to be this impression that INFJ is a "great match" for everyone. But when push comes to shove, VERY few people can handle or even understand our intensity.

Those who can weather the storm are rewarded. But we aren't all about sunshine and rainbows. :D
 

Lexicon

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Are you sure you want a relationship specifically with an INFJ? I think INFJs can be pretty intense emotionally in relationships and this is not for everyone, especially EPs who tend to like a lighter, "fun" approach.
Those who can weather the storm are rewarded. But we aren't all about sunshine and rainbows. :D

:unsure: I hope I never encounter any NTs who are all about sunshine & rainbows..
 
V

violaine

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Yeah, I don't understand this. There seems to be this impression that INFJ is a "great match" for everyone. But when push comes to shove, VERY few people can handle or even understand our intensity.

Those who can weather the storm are rewarded. But we aren't all about sunshine and rainbows. :D

Exactly. And that = death of the relationship.

Actually, ime I think this is an area where an INTP can be great (not easily weirded out) as can an ISTJ. ISTJ seem to be able to stick with things.
 

briochick

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I feel like a weird infj now. I don't necessarily want that intensity (I've found men tend to interpret my intensity as a reason to become obsessed with me, and that equals being held down that that sends me running). I value my independence and if it's and 'intense' emotional connection or my independence I'm going to go with the latter. As long as my intellectual intensity is met and I'm not denied the truth of my own emotions I'm ok with a rather casual and jovial relationship.

ISTJs can stick with things but they can resent the emotional infj, and they don't understand us, and in my experience they're not as deep as we are.
 
V

violaine

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I feel like a weird infj now. I don't necessarily want that intensity (I've found men tend to interpret my intensity as a reason to become obsessed with me, and that equals being held down that that sends me running). I value my independence and if it's and 'intense' emotional connection or my independence I'm going to go with the latter. As long as my intellectual intensity is met and I'm not denied the truth of my own emotions I'm ok with a rather casual and jovial relationship.

I like some mutuality, i.e. he accepts that I can be 'intense' and individualistic, I accept him with his quirks but we don't try and hold each other down. I don't like that at all. I don't think it has to be an either/or situation (forming an intense connection vs giving up my independence.) I value independence in a certain context. I will always want to stand on my own two feet but I would never want to go so far with it that I reject a meaningful connection. I find that I don't connect well with controlling people though, thankfully!

ISTJs can stick with things but they can resent the emotional infj, and they don't understand us, and in my experience they're not as deep as we are.

I have had other problems with ISTJ, but being scared off wasn't one of them. The ISTJ I knew was very deep in fact but didn't like to go there a lot. Amazingly creative too. He didn't understand my ways and that was a source of friction, but he would never have run.
 

Lexicon

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I don't necessarily want that intensity (I've found men tend to interpret my intensity as a reason to become obsessed with me, and that equals being held down that that sends me running). I value my independence and if it's an 'intense' emotional connection or my independence I'm going to go with the latter. As long as my intellectual intensity is met and I'm not denied the truth of my own emotions I'm ok with a rather casual and jovial relationship.

:yes:
 
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