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  1. #61
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    Yeah complaining about how INXX types don't get out much won't do you any favours.

    To sum it up, they've all told you that they don't like the thought of looking for a guy on craigslist. I certainly wouldn't look for a girl there. There are other sites that are less mainstream and more friendly to INXX types. All you have to do is put up an honest profile with quality subtle jokes, try not to sound too overwhelming. When you think you have put together a quality profile look for girls. Since you sound like you know what you want, look for girls that embody this and message them.

    Thank you for taking the time to respond and if my goal was just to find a girl or not be single your advice I'm sure would be very helpful. I have no troubles in this area however and I have no difficulties meeting people in person locally.

    I wonder if I could come up with a post that would call out any one type. Being an ENTP I could word a post that would get a heavily ENTP response so I'm wondering if anybody has ideas to help come up with one that will draw out INFJs.
    There was my goal that has somehow been overlooked or (hasn't really been addressed at least) for 60 posts.

    Again I feel the need to say I'm not being argumentative or intentionally rude as I know I often come off that way. I know threads have a mind of their own I just wasn't expecting this one to take this spin

  2. #62
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TucsonENTP View Post
    Thank you for taking the time to respond and if my goal was just to find a girl or not be single your advice I'm sure would be very helpful. I have no troubles in this area however and I have no difficulties meeting people in person locally.
    I think this is something people fail to realize about the ENTP. We have no trouble finding people to be with. We have trouble finding the right person to be with.

    Neil Young explains it better than I ever could and he even sings it the way I feel it:

    "Heart Of Gold"

    I want to live,
    I want to give
    I've been a miner
    for a heart of gold.
    It's these expressions
    I never give
    That keep me searching
    for a heart of gold
    And I'm getting old.
    Keeps me searching
    for a heart of gold
    And I'm getting old.

    I've been to Hollywood
    I've been to Redwood
    I crossed the ocean
    for a heart of gold
    I've been in my mind,
    it's such a fine line
    That keeps me searching
    for a heart of gold
    And I'm getting old.
    Keeps me searching
    for a heart of gold
    And I'm getting old.

    Keep me searching
    for a heart of gold
    You keep me searching
    for a heart of gold
    And I'm growing old.
    I've been a miner
    for a heart of gold.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  3. #63
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TucsonENTP View Post
    There was my goal that has somehow been overlooked or (hasn't really been addressed at least) for 60 posts.

    I wonder if I could come up with a post that would call out any one type. Being an ENTP I could word a post that would get a heavily ENTP response so I'm wondering if anybody has ideas to help come up with one that will draw out INFJs.
    I understand how this got lost in the shuffle, but I wrote this at the end of my initial post --I think if you're just 100% real, you can't go too wrong. Then it's just a matter of whether there's any connection, similar ground, and chemistry.

    I still stand by that. I am drawn to genuineness, and people being themselves. I want to see the 'real them'. Authenticity. Uniqueness. Not trying to put on a show. After seeing that, I am then in a position to know whether there's possibility, chemistry, common ground, etc. The reason I stress wanting to see the 'real them', without giving more detail as far as what *I* in particular would be drawn to (because the particulars will vary between the INFJ's), is because I don't want my desires to shape their responses and what they do write. I don't want to influence what they choose to write, or how they act, or whatever, in other words. Because then it seems a bit more manipulative to me - them writing or doing what they know I want to hear or see and what they know will draw me in. Seems more artificial to me. I don't know...now I'm babbling and I think this sounds worse than what I really mean..I'm just having a hard time articulating my thought. Maybe it's that I don't want to influence their true character and soul? I want to see them for who they really are, as an individual? (I'm going off-topic now, sorry)

    But I think others have given constructive advice as well - even A Schitzel. Quality jokes, not too overwhelming, it sounds like you know the drill anyway. But I'm with ya 100% on wanting to find that special someone, as I haven't found him yet, and believe me, he's a long time coming.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  4. #64
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I think this is something people fail to realize about the ENTP. We have no trouble finding people to be with. We have trouble finding the right person to be with.

    Neil Young explains it better than I ever could and he even sings it the way I feel it:

    "Heart Of Gold"

    I want to live...
    that was sorta depressing-yet-hopeful. Infjs have the same trouble, finding that person to be with, except, it's really really hard because we're not so hot at meeting people either.
    -Brio

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
    -Teddy Roosevelt
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  5. #65
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    I think this is something people fail to realize about the ENTP. We have no trouble finding people to be with. We have trouble finding the right person to be with.
    Amen! I think we have the ability to energize people as we have that side of us that's so charismatic, much like if you catch us during one of our "ah ha" moments.

    The other day I was making a total fool of myself in front of the four girls at the Sprouts checkout. They were all laughing and smiling and I know I could have gotten any of their numbers. I also knew I wasn't interested in dating any of them and I don't hunt girls as a sport.

    Every place I shop the people know me well and by first name. So as my possible future husband (I'll be the one to get down on my knee and ask) if gay marriage is ever legal Synarch says. The issue is finding people that I have even the slightest amount of interest in.

  6. #66
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by briochick View Post
    that was sorta depressing-yet-hopeful. Infjs have the same trouble, finding that person to be with, except, it's really really hard because we're not so hot at meeting people either.
    I have always felt that we are all waiting for the same thing. This applies to many aspects of life. I just decided long ago that I would search for it rather than wait for it to come to me. So I fly through the woods and occasionally alight on a branch to sing my song, cocking my ear for a response.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  7. #67
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    ...you ENTPs are sounding like NFs here. Very scary.

  8. #68
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
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    if you wanted to post a personals ad to get an infj I'd say do something like this:

    "Genuine nerd looking a longlasting love"

    "Hello. I'm an authentic, enthusiastic, intelligent male. (good qualities that might appeal to infj) Not perfect mind you. I'm a neat freak and can be unintentionally overblunt (note the admitance of faults) but I'm working on those (the desire to change). I like [something], [something], [something], [something funny that an infj will probably interpret as possibly true but will be humored and intrigued about]. I'm looking for a relationship that can be intense, deep, and sweet. I'm not a short-term kinda guy....blah blah blah, more stuff along that line. Hope you meet you soon."

    maybe I'm not the best one to be trying to make light-hearted posts....
    -Brio

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
    -Teddy Roosevelt
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  9. #69
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    I understand how this got lost in the shuffle, but I wrote this at the end of my initial post --I think if you're just 100% real, you can't go too wrong. Then it's just a matter of whether there's any connection, similar ground, and chemistry.
    I totally agree I think I just see that as a give in but your statement is a testament to the troubles with dating. Saying to be 100% real to me is like telling me not to beat the girl up. I don't know how to be anything but real. If you meet a partner wearing a mask there comes a time you either have to lose yourself in who you were pretending to be or you need to take it off and face the fallout.

    This is really sad honestly, that we all seem to have some guard up but I try not to make others pay for the mistakes of those in my past.

    I still stand by that. I am drawn to genuineness, and people being themselves. I want to see the 'real them'. Authenticity. Uniqueness. Not trying to put on a show. After seeing that, I am then in a position to know whether there's possibility, chemistry, common ground, etc. The reason I stress wanting to see the 'real them', without giving more detail as far as what *I* in particular would be drawn to (because the particulars will vary between the INFJ's), is because I don't want my desires to shape their responses and what they do write. I don't want to influence what they choose to write, in other words. Because then it seems a bit more manipulative to me - them writing what they know I want to hear and what they know will draw me in. Seems more artificial to me. I don't know...now I'm babbling.
    I would never lie about who I am or cater what I'm saying. I think you need to be 100% yourself in a relationship. I think WAYYYYYY too much as it is, I don't want to have to question what I'm being told, analyze the hidden meaning or pretend to be somebody I'm not. I already put too much energy into keeping my guard up and I won't do it in the comfort of my own home.

  10. #70
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    ...you ENTPs are sounding like NFs. Very scary.
    I relate to the NF way. I think ENTPs have to be more "feely" to comprehend people. As for accessing my feelings directly, this is always a challenge. They mostly just tend to bubble up like lava.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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