User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 62

  1. #11
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1
    Posts
    4,223

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dee View Post
    What can be the deep rooted reason for an NF to feel terrible whenever they make a mistake?
    Why do I feel the need to be perfect or else...

    I get such a bad feeling whenever I make a mistake, especially if someone is being hostile to me because of it.

    It's the worst feeling, I just feel like "I am a terrible person" mantra going through my head. What is that?

    How can I get rid of that automatically coming up and feeling that way?
    You probably got that attitude reinforced throughout your childhood.

    Gotta do some emotional work -- meditation, therapy, etc. You can't snap your fingers and make it go away, unfortunately.

    (I'm still nowhere close.)

  2. #12
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    fool
    Posts
    688

    Default

    If you come up with a solution, lemme know :/

  3. #13
    Senior Member Desperado44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Posts
    471

    Default

    You're far from alone.

    There was a time when guilt dominated my life. Despite the tons of good I did, I could only focus on where I failed.

    Very difficult to overcome....but you can

    I'm a perfectionist and an "F"....welcome to hell....however, as you continue to grow and experience new things....you will realize you're the only YOU on the planet....and its a gift...

    NEVER let others make you feel anything but special.
    I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. --- Maya Angelou

  4. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    Enfj
    Enneagram
    2+1
    Socionics
    ?
    Posts
    136

    Default

    Thanks people,
    I definately feel that childhood has a lot to do with it, then having the personality I do can make you care even more...
    It has gotten much better, but there is still a long way to go. If I'm in a state where I am actively trying to let go of this, then when these thoughts come in, I just try to think the opposite. Like "you are a good person etc."
    Other times, when it's too overwhelming I don't know what to do, and generally just get depressed, although luckily I get out of these depressed moods rather quickly.

    I have come to realize that happiness (feeling good about ourselves) is something we have to fight for....and protect.

    Best wishes, Dee

  5. #15
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Posts
    1,068

    Default

    I have a quote I made up that applies here:

    "In order to grow as a person you must be as open to embracing and learning from your failures as you are your successes".

    Sometimes life as my signature suggests is just about changing your view of the same situation. There is no way you can take the time to learn what you need from what you do wrong if you're feeling "terrible".

    Also, make sure you only allow the way somebody else views, feels, thinks about, judges or corrects you to effect you proportionately to your view of or respect for that person.

  6. #16
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    8,674

    Default

    I don't feel bad when I make a mistake.

    I simply don't see the point of it any my emotional deficit is strong enough to prevent this from happening in the first place.

    What I do is to finding a way to fix it and if can't be fixed than I am making calculations of how this will impact the future and/or search for a way to get the same thing in another way.

  7. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    376

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dee View Post
    Thanks people,
    I definately feel that childhood has a lot to do with it, then having the personality I do can make you care even more...
    It has gotten much better, but there is still a long way to go. If I'm in a state where I am actively trying to let go of this, then when these thoughts come in, I just try to think the opposite. Like "you are a good person etc."
    Other times, when it's too overwhelming I don't know what to do, and generally just get depressed, although luckily I get out of these depressed moods rather quickly.

    I have come to realize that happiness (feeling good about ourselves) is something we have to fight for....and protect.

    Best wishes, Dee
    That's exactly how I feel. Good luck with it, Dee.
    Om–ba–ara–minaya–sabaha
    4w5 sx/so/sp

  8. #18
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    I don't know if this will work for you, but one thing that made me stop is I adopted the idea that it's arrogant to think I would not make a mistake. I don't want to be arrogant. Also the idea that once I make a mistake, everybody sits around talking about it, or feels let down -- again, maybe arrogant -- why do I think people are looking up to me?

    So the fear of being arrogant keeps me from feeling guilty because I make mistakes. (It's bad to make a mistake, but it's worse to be arrogant.)

    I know it's kind of counterintuitive, but it works for me.

  9. #19
    Senior Member quietmusician's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4
    Posts
    321

    Default

    I don't really know why I do this. I get mad when I make a deeply personal mistake, that usually gets to me. I start calling myself stupid and I go on for hours about me being an idiot. I think it's because I should have seen most of the stupid mistakes coming from a mile away. And then I berate myself for having missed that opportunity to free myself from making that mistake. As I age I try not to let stuff like this be a burden anymore, but I still have my bad days.

  10. #20
    Member LavaLucy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    infj
    Posts
    73

    Default

    Seems like a lot of people relate and me too.
    Would it help to think about it objectivly (I know it's hard) when something happens, maybe write it down on paper so you look at it as something apart from you. Consider if the other peoples reactions that are upsetting you are even justified and if someone else made the same mistake you did, what would you think of them? I bet you wouldn't be judging them as harshly as you are doing yourself. It may take a bit of practice.

Similar Threads

  1. "How does that make you feel?" I don't know!
    By ThatsWhatHeSaid in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 70
    Last Post: 04-10-2009, 09:37 PM
  2. How does this image make you feel? V.3
    By swordpath in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 48
    Last Post: 12-23-2008, 03:55 PM
  3. Replies: 17
    Last Post: 08-28-2008, 05:10 PM
  4. [INTJ] WIll COnfronting Someone Make an INTJ Feel Better?
    By Noitartst in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 08-09-2008, 03:14 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO