[MBTI General] Since I don't have a blog, I guess I write this stuff here.

[JivinJeffJones]

My mum died last night, after a 2 year struggle with cancer. My dad, sister and I have spent the last 3 weeks taking turns to sit with her in hospital 24/7, while she's pumped so full of pain-killers that she barely recognized us. Lowlights: once she asked me to help her get up so she could get ready for school (ok, that was a little funny), another time she wanted to know where her parents were (her mum has been dead for 40 years, her dad for 10). She also kept wanting to know when she'd be well enough to go home. Highlights: I guess the open love and affection I felt free to show her for the first time in a long time.

It's been hard to deal with, but at least she's out of pain now. I don't mean that at all as a platitude. I have no idea how our family is going to hold together without her, though. She was the ESFP glue that held us introverts together. I imagine that dad, an INTJ, will disappear out into the bush for a few months. I doubt very much that he'll ever remarry, even though she's told him to (and even suggested candidates). She had a really full life, and travelled all over the world. My biggest regret for her is that she never had grandchildren. So...yeah. That's that.

 

[Economica]

My condolences.

 

[proteanmix]

I'm sorry, Jeff.

 

[Ivy]

I'm so sorry. It's good that you guys could be with her like that for her last few days.

 

[Noel]

My mum died last night, after a 2 year struggle with cancer. My dad, sister and I have spent the last 3 weeks taking turns to sit with her in hospital 24/7, while she's pumped so full of pain-killers that she barely recognized us. Lowlights: once she asked me to help her get up so she could get ready for school (ok, that was a little funny), another time she wanted to know where her parents were (her mum has been dead for 40 years, her dad for 10). She also kept wanting to know when she'd be well enough to go home. Highlights: I guess the open love and affection I felt free to show her for the first time in a long time.

It's been hard to deal with, but at least she's out of pain now. I don't mean that at all as a platitude. I have no idea how our family is going to hold together without her, though. She was the ESFP glue that held us introverts together. I imagine that dad, an INTJ, will disappear out into the bush for a few months. I doubt very much that he'll ever remarry, even though she's told him to (and even suggested candidates). She had a really full life, and travelled all over the world. My biggest regret for her is that she never had grandchildren. So...yeah. That's that.

Sorry for your family's loss.

I'm happy you had the opportunity to exhibit love to your mum - I bet she appreciated your genuine emotions. God knows male infps need an outlet to do so every once and awhile. Endure. In enduring grow strong.

 

[spirilis]

My condolences Jeff.

 

[iwakar]

In case you didn't know it already, you are a member of a largely caring community should you need a patient, practical, sympathetic, or empathic ear.

JJJ --I admit I don't know what's at the other end of the rainbow, but I've never known an ESFP that didn't deserve a peek.

With Love & Concern,
Raquel

Edit: Perhaps it is because they are the rainbows they chase.

 

[Domino]

My mum died last night, after a 2 year struggle with cancer. My dad, sister and I have spent the last 3 weeks taking turns to sit with her in hospital 24/7, while she's pumped so full of pain-killers that she barely recognized us. Lowlights: once she asked me to help her get up so she could get ready for school (ok, that was a little funny), another time she wanted to know where her parents were (her mum has been dead for 40 years, her dad for 10). She also kept wanting to know when she'd be well enough to go home. Highlights: I guess the open love and affection I felt free to show her for the first time in a long time.

It's been hard to deal with, but at least she's out of pain now. I don't mean that at all as a platitude. I have no idea how our family is going to hold together without her, though. She was the ESFP glue that held us introverts together. I imagine that dad, an INTJ, will disappear out into the bush for a few months. I doubt very much that he'll ever remarry, even though she's told him to (and even suggested candidates). She had a really full life, and travelled all over the world. My biggest regret for her is that she never had grandchildren. So...yeah. That's that.

Jeff -

I had been very concerned about your disappearance, and now that I know what happened, I only wish I'd been "nosy" enough to drop you that line a week ago (not that you would have had opportunity to answer). I'm just horrified, and deeply deeply sorry for your loss. You're on the other side of the world so we can't come over with the Southern comfort food and quietly do the dishes or vacuum or try to get you to eat or sleep or whatever it is you need to do. Jaye and I extend our cold far away sympathies. Just know that we'll be praying for you all. I'm putting your family in for prayer at Mass.

 

[PuddleRiver]

I'm very sorry, Jeff. My condolences and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

Unrelated to any of that ^^^ but I started on antidepressants yesterday. Something called Xydep which the consumer medicine information printout assures me contains the active ingredient sertraline. I'm sick of being depressed -- 5 years is long enough imo. Maybe this will be enough to help me get out of this rut I'm in. I've only taken 2 pills so far, and am not liking the effects at all. Feeling very vague. It reminds me a bit of the way I was after I smoked half an ounce of pot in a week. Silence in my head, can't make connections, can't concentrate beneath the most superficial level. The doctor said it usually takes 2-4 weeks before you start feeling the benefits, but that the negative side-effects can kick in pretty much right away. All I can say is that if these side-effects are a permanent fixture of Xydep then I'd rather be depressed.

Oh any has anyone noticed that Haight is always viewing who's online?

 

[King sns]

I don't know anything about your situation, but drugs are not fun, I agree. I had to take zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks for a while and just stopped cold turkey. (I'm a nursing student. They say nurses are the worst patients ) I didn't see many terrible side effects but I don't like drugs in general. I don't like having to take a pill 2X a day.

If you are very very depressed I would reccommend trying to stick out the drug for atleast a few weeks and see where that gets you. It takes about 3-8 weeks for some of them to have the desired effect. (I know that seems like an eternity.)

And, not to sound preachy, but exercise definitely is an anxiety/depression killer for me. It totally puts your mind on a clean slate, besides its other obvious health benifits. Vitamins, eat right,.. blah blah blah...I have to force myself to do these things on a regular basis, but its totally worth it. I haven't had major signs of anxiety or depression in a long time.

(Will read more when I have more time!!)

hang in there!

 

[King sns]

oh, and i'm so sorry about the loss of your mom

I wish you and your family the best.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

I don't know anything about your situation, but drugs are not fun, I agree. I had to take zoloft for anxiety/panic attacks for a while and just stopped cold turkey. (I'm a nursing student. They say nurses are the worst patients ) I didn't see many terrible side effects but I don't like drugs in general. I don't like having to take a pill 2X a day.

A nurse who hates drugs? How will you live with yourself?

If you are very very depressed I would reccommend trying to stick out the drug for atleast a few weeks and see where that gets you. It takes about 3-8 weeks for some of them to have the desired effect. (I know that seems like an eternity.)

Yeah, I intend to try it out for at least a month or two. I guess my main concern is that the effects stay the same but I become desensitized to them. I'd hate to come to think of this current state as normal.

And, not to sound preachy, but exercise definitely is an anxiety/depression killer for me. It totally puts your mind on a clean slate, besides its other obvious health benifits. Vitamins, eat right,.. blah blah blah...I have to force myself to do these things on a regular basis, but its totally worth it. I haven't had major signs of anxiety or depression in a long time.

Yeah I exercise pretty regularly and eat right when I remember (INFP). It helps a bit I think.

oh, and i'm so sorry about the loss of your mom

I wish you and your family the best.

It's kind of inspiring in a weird way to see a life well-lived come to an end. Maybe I won't think that in a month, I dunno.

 

[King sns]

It's kind of inspiring in a weird way to see a life well-lived come to an end. Maybe I won't think that in a month, I dunno.

Unfortunately, you probably will.
Losing someone close to you isn't something that you'll forget about in a month, but hopefully will come to more of an acceptance.

 

[King sns]

A nurse who hates drugs? How will you live with yourself?

I don't know honestly.
When you ask the people ahead of me in nursing school "how they cope with the stresses of the rigorous schooling"

they all have their own little concoctions.

"valium! klonopin!"
lol.

 

[The Third Rider]

My deep condolences go out to you and your family. I can only image how terrible you must feel.

 

[PeaceBaby]

That's just not that. Your whole life is transitioning and the feelings of sand beneath your feet can be disconcerting. Be aware that others sense and send not only their condolences but their best wishes for you & your family, including a newb here like me.