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  1. #1
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    Default NFs and pride, conflict, attitude?

    The descriptions I read of my type seem to paint the picture of a softspoken, sugary sweet individual who would be the perfect first grade teacher. That is probably the one INFPism I am having a hard time claiming.

    I like helping other people...sometimes, but I'm not anymore generous than the next person. In fact I often feel exasperated by other people! If I take issue with someone, I don't hide it. I mean, I don't come right out with my dislike of someone, but my behavior towards them makes it pretty darn obvious I think.

    I am pretty straightforward when I'm comfortable, and it typically doesn't take me long to get comfortable. I think I've got a lot of that "I am woman, hear me roar" sass to my personality, although to any stranger I come across I am polite and relatively softspoken. But if you spend longer than 10 minutes with me you'll find out pretty fast that I'm not so vanilla.

    I have unusually strong, liberal opinions, which I have learned to keep to myself in my conservative, hell fire and brimstone community. But if I feel you can handle how passionately I discuss certain topics, I'll go for it with no hesitation.

    NFs, what do you think? Particularly you introverts like me?

  2. #2
    heart on fire
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    How can an INFP hate people?

    From the Article: "The mental anguish that you feel is
    based in your own fear that you will not succeed in vanquishing the evil that surrounds us."

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    How can an INFP hate people?

    From the Article: "The mental anguish that you feel is
    based in your own fear that you will not succeed in vanquishing the evil that surrounds us."
    Wow, that makes so much sense. I really do feel that most people are too far gone to be helped, and that is what makes them so exasperating. One of my biggest issues is that you can't prevent things like racism and sexism (just two examples) from being passed through the generations. Another example would be my feelings toward political elections - I consider it important to vote, so I do, but I find it hard to believe my one vote can make a difference. I have such high standards and hold tight to my values, but feel as though I'm outnumbered by people who would rather lie, cheat, steal, gossip...basically treat each other like dirt.

  4. #4
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Nothing you've said sounds necessarily inconsistent with an INFP, though maybe it's inconsistent with the stereotype of INFPs that tends to pervade certain forums.

  5. #5
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    They do tend to gloss over the dark side, don't they?
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #6
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    They do tend to gloss over the dark side, don't they?
    Only NTs are allowed to be dark.

  7. #7
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    Only NTs are allowed to be dark.
    Is that what they need to believe in order to sleep at night? I guess we can allow them that.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #8
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    I'm not very fond of the conflict avoidant, people pleasing, self-sacrificing aspects of most ENFJ descriptions I come across and have basically decided to discount them. I believe that I use Fe Ni Se Ti and accordingly that makes me an ENFJ but anything further than that I don't know. I notice that I'm becoming quite disgusted by how seriously type descriptions are taken because I see more exceptions than rules.

    What I think is accurate about the descriptions of ENFJs is the ability to see potential in people and genuinely care about people. I like being around people, I feel happier and energetic. I like asking people what their opinions are, what they feel, how they think, and building connections between people. I want people to understand the importance of being connected to others. I'm very concerned about my personal relationships and think about how to improve them. I'm also more willing to deal with/tolerate people's emotional baggage that others aren't.

    I don't think most descriptions of NFs delve as thoroughly into what a "bad" NF looks like enough, which makes me think most NF descriptions are written by NFs who are in denial.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  9. #9
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    They do tend to gloss over the dark side, don't they?
    Aren't INFPs often fascinated with the macawb?

    I do have values that I don't waffle on, but they do have to be justified logically in my mind. If I can't articulate a reason for the value, I let it go however uncomfortable it is to do that. I constantly challenge every position I hold, to the extent that there are only a handful of principles that i have a firm connection to. If I have a strong opinion, it has been long sought and hard fought. I find convenient, strong opinions wearisome. It is the reason i avoid politics.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  10. #10
    heart on fire
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    I am not fascinated with horror movie type stuff or useless violence in movies, I hate stuff like that and won't watch it.... but I am very much into studying the nature and motivations of true evil in the world.

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