I had to think about this one alot last night before I replied.
If someone was to describe me, it would sound like you describing yourself, sassy, in control, not a people pleaser per se, but a nice STRONG individual who doesn't take any crap. I even see myself that way, I have more of a front, I don't feel i need to go out of my to avoid conflict, not to say that i go looking for it, but if it happens it happens and you got to be prepared to feel the backlash of my tongue.
Yet.........none of this explains the fact that I allowed myself to be abused for 8 yrs, or that I allowed family and friends to betray me many times before without making too much of a fuss.
Who I feel i am inside, well maybe that is not who I am, maybe I really am the description of the typical conflict avoidant infp.
I often have people tell me that they find it hard to believe I was abused as I don't come across as the type of person to allow it, heck in court the defence attorny/barrister representing my abuser tried the same line in court.
My father (also an old abuser of mine) said he never could understand why I ended up in an abusive relationship as I was so tough, so strong, so capable. Because when i was a young teen I used to proclaim loudly that i wouldn't put up with anything from anyone. (guess he wasn't looking at his past behaviour for the answer to that one)
The reason I share this, is to try to explain why on the one hand I feel like you describe yourself, yet on the other hand, how can I explain my past?
So, that tough persona of mine, the one who can handle conflict, is I guess not who i am, because if it really and truly was, I would have handled the betrayls the abuse, the stamping on all I valued, quite differently. (see even after a night mulling it over, I still can't understand it)
Can I ask you, do you find it easy to handle loved ones in the same confident, I can handle conflict, way?