User Tag List

First 12345 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 62

  1. #21
    Senior Member Wild horses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    1,917

    Default

    I am quite a tactile person but it sometimes gets me into trouble when people get the wrong idea which is sad for me cos I feel that I have to hold myself back and be cautious
    ... couldn't drag me away

    Željko Ražnatovic: argus
    Željko Ražnatovic: do you want heir's?
    WildHorses: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Željko Ražnatovic: to carry your genealogical code??

  2. #22
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    595

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LindseyLadybug View Post

    With the people I am comfortable touching/showing displays of affection to (not romantic or sexual), I feel so awkward doing it. I worry how people will react to it. I know it'll probably catch them by surprise to suddenly have this reserved, quiet INFJ suddenly hug them out of nowhere. I'm not talking about people I'm really familiar with and normally hug and they reciprocate. Sometimes in my friendships, there will come a point when something just "clicks" and I'll suddenly feel close enough to them that I'm comfortable touching them. At that point I just have this urge to hug them tightly. Also, since these particular friends aren't expecting me to hug them (b/c they haven't seen that side of me), it's difficult to initiate a hug.

    Do I hold my arms out? Do I say, "I just wanted to give you a hug goodbye?" I hate this awkward feeling because at times I want so badly to reach out to someone (perhaps b/c it's rare to find someone who truly understands, appreciates, connects with, and accepts me) but I have this fear that they'll reject me or it will make them uncomfortable. IDK how else to explain it.

    I was wondering if any of the other NFs have this problem and if so, how you deal with it.
    Am I ever glad I am not the only one feeling like this ! I really hate it when people see hidden sexuality in NF profound affection, because that is not what it means to me either. I even get to wonder if I am doing something wrong feeling so loving. I often feel this urge to hug certain people, as to let all my love and empathy out, and yes, I wonder how they will have it (depending on the person's type -I've made friends with a couple NFs lately, and I hug them no problem). I've had the hugging experience with an NT lately. She was a bit puzzled and unresponsive at first, but now she's got used to it, and she feels okay about it, I think.

  3. #23
    Senior Member aufs klo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    191

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by quietmusician View Post
    No, I'm not good with the PDA's. I wish I was. I even feel weird hugging my family. I step out of my comfort zone in order to appear more 'regular' from time to time.
    Yeah, I'm like this too. I've really only started doing the whole hug thing this past year, and there're only a few people I'll hug.

    But there's nothing like a nice firm handshake! Makes a good impression, especially when the other person does a wussy handshake!
    What's up universe?

  4. #24
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    InFp
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    INFj
    Posts
    322

    Default

    I always need to prep myself before anyone hugs me. And it ALWAYS feels weird. Not so much with girls I like, but when that happens it feels like I'm putting too much into it.

  5. #25
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    202

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    Am I ever glad I am not the only one feeling like this !
    Aww, yay!!

    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I really hate it when people see hidden sexuality in NF profound affection, because that is not what it means to me either. I even get to wonder if I am doing something wrong feeling so loving.
    Perhaps it is society sexualizing everything. I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling so loving. We've believed the lies and become a bunch of robots! JMHO

    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I often feel this urge to hug certain people, as to let all my love and empathy out
    Yes, you just described exactly what it feels like!! If we keep it all inside, they may never know...and we could miss out on connecting with friends.


    By the way, the person I was hesitant to hug ended up receiving it warmly. She welcomed it as if she had been waiting this whole time for me to initiate it so she wouldn't invade my "INFJ emotional wall". She hugged me tightly for quite a while. It was nice not to feel rejected and/or feel like I was being "over-empathetic/loving/emotional" There is still hope for people like us! Don't give up! Spread the love! lol

  6. #26
    Senor Membrane
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,190

    Default


  7. #27
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    738
    Socionics
    ILE None
    Posts
    7,265

    Default

    Some scary stuffs about the 'urge to hug' in here.
    I think it's the right time to unveil my project to the world: The Anonymous Hugers, They can help you!

    Guys, to me this is like a horror movie, and I'm sure my socially akward little friends will agree (I didn't say intp, You have no proof ANYWAY!).
    I can do the whole 'display of coolness' hug, but the real affectionate one makes me feel like I'm being assaulted by a bunch of hungry orphants.

  8. #28
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    eNFP
    Enneagram
    ;) sx
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    637

    Default

    I don't usually touch/hug people who I'm not close with. I've known someone for over six months and I've just recently started to hug her. I've gotten used to physical affection from my students (loads of hugs and hand holding) but I was really uncomfortable with it at first and each new student has to kind of break through my discomfort (like I'm thinking 'why is this kid hugging me?'). That being said, there are exceptions to the rule, like this guy holding a "free hugs" sign hugged me and it was nice, but really not many. I tried to do a lot of pda with an ex because I thought he wanted it but just ended up feeling exposed and guilty and more "stuck" with him than I ever wanted to be. That being said I am super affectionate with people I am really close with: hugging them, bumping into them, patting their cheek or snuggling or sitting on them, but in total that's about four or five people out of the whole planet.
    so....yeah...
    -Brio

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
    -Teddy Roosevelt
    ___________________

  9. #29
    Senior Member LindseyLadybug's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    202

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    Thanks, friend.

    Quote Originally Posted by EcK View Post
    Some scary stuffs about the 'urge to hug' in here.
    I think it's the right time to unveil my project to the word: The Anonymous Hugers, They can help you!

    Guys, to me this is like a horror movie, and I'm sure my socially akward little friends will agree (I didn't say intp, You have no proof ANYWAY!).
    I can do the whole 'display of coolness' hug, but the real affectionate one makes me feel like I'm being assaulted by a bunch of hungry orphants.
    I can usually tell if someone isn't down with hugging...they usually give off a "don't-touch-me" vibe. Previously, I mentioned that the people I feel comfortable hugging are the ones I form a "connection" with. But don't get me wrong, making someone uncomfortable is something I like to avoid. I myself was never into hugging until high school....IDK why. That being said, I'm not the expert so I don't usually initiate hugs. With this particular person, I've seen her hug many people before....she is very generous with her hugs. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have risked rejection.

  10. #30
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    738
    Socionics
    ILE None
    Posts
    7,265

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LindseyLadybug View Post
    I can usually tell if someone isn't down with hugging...they usually give off a "don't-touch-me" vibe. Previously, I mentioned that the people I feel comfortable hugging are the ones I form a "connection" with.
    ok, just so we're clear, you're not going to hug me.. right ?

    The thing is that when you're straight forward, joking alot and so on, the NF people will tend to do their usual 'meh I'm a psychic' thing and do something like that anyway.
    I use jackets, ppl never hug somebody in a jacket.

Similar Threads

  1. [NF] NFs and feelings of other people
    By Virtual ghost in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 65
    Last Post: 12-18-2009, 12:34 PM
  2. [SJ] SJ's & Public displays of affection (PDA's)
    By OregonENFP in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 04-03-2009, 03:08 PM
  3. [MBTItm] What do you NF's think of the other temperaments?
    By animenagai in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 48
    Last Post: 01-22-2009, 12:12 AM
  4. [NT] Embarrassed by Displays of Emotion?
    By Orangey in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 77
    Last Post: 11-18-2008, 02:17 PM
  5. [MBTItm] NFs and (lack of) sense of direction
    By WobblyStilettos in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 04-24-2008, 10:48 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO