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  1. #261
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyst View Post
    INFJs love a needy ENTP. It puts everything in perspective for us - that we reign supremely.

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    ENTP . 7w6 sx/sp

  2. #262
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyst View Post
    Aaah but what do you do with those thoughts? Do you keep 'em inside, and be the humbug that wants to come out and play? Or do you go right out and get needy?

    INFJs love a needy ENTP. It puts everything in perspective for us - that we reign supremely.
    I don't know that I buy that last part. Though, you might be being facetious.

    I keep them inside until I start to freak out then I go and gush them all over. I don't know how other ENTP's are but I am always afraid of being hurt. I think I like INFJ/INTJ's because they are solid and seem to accept my fractiousness as long as I do not try to destabilize them with my emotions by making unfair demands.

    This fear is the main reason for my distance. I am insensitive because I am sensitive.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  3. #263
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    I'm too lazy to contribute to this discussion, and all of Synarch's opinions in this thread have been identical to my own. So I'll just agree and then go back to reading my book.
    I have a vagina.


    ENTP . 7w6 sx/sp

  4. #264
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyst View Post

    Here's my interpretation of what you said:

    ENTP: "Man, geez, I'm sorry. I could undo this so that we could go back to the way things were. What do I need to do to get us there?"

    My point is that there's no sincere apology here. It's driven from more of a "What do I have to do to get you to stop moping, crying, whining, nagging?"

    As an INFJ, if I got this kind of manipulative apology it would 1) REALLY hurt 2) I'd feel coerced into forcing myself to move on because I'd be afraid of further angering/irritating them and causing more damage to the relationship. I'd feel very unloved. That's for sure.
    I don't think I'd take that sort of statement badly, but then maybe I've gotten to know ENTP's too well by now, so wouldn't take it personally because I don't think it's meant as such. Actually I think this might be why I tend to prefer NT's; I guess I don't take their desire to move forward/have an 'action plan' that poorly, because when I'm really down and out, I want both a way out of it - i.e. 'what do I need to do to get us there'? - and I also want the pure understanding/acknowledgment for what and how I'm feeling, which in my experience NT's can be just as compassionate with as NF's. I think there's a huge difference between how a mature ENTP/NT might handle the moping/crying/general unhappiness - as they can have a large capacity for emotional understanding and support - and how any more insensitive person (who could in fact be an F) might just treat my feelings lightly and blow them off.

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch
    I keep them inside until I start to freak out then I go and gush them all over. I don't know how other ENTP's are but I am always afraid of being hurt. I think I like INFJ/INTJ's because they are solid and seem to accept my fractiousness as long as I do not try to destabilize them with my emotions by making unfair demands.

    This fear is the main reason for my distance. I am insensitive because I am sensitive.
    ha, it's funny how much I tend to relate to ENTP's. Anyway, like you, I tend to keep things inside - wanting to either keep them at bay and sort them out on my own, or out of fear they might be misunderstood - but eventually they must be released. I also have the fear, although at times think it isn't so much fear as simply what I've learned over time, which is that not that many people can really identify with me, and vice versa - so hence I keep it in. But unlike you I don't externalize insensitivity because of my sensitivity (although my acquiring a more cynical outlook of people/humanity has in the past been the crutch I've used to shield myself and make myself feel stronger).
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  5. #265
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    I don't think I'd take that sort of statement badly, but then maybe I've gotten to know ENTP's too well by now, so wouldn't take it personally because I don't think it's meant as such. Actually I think this might be why I tend to prefer NT's; I guess I don't take their desire to move forward/have an 'action plan' that poorly, because when I'm really down and out, I want both a way out of it - i.e. 'what do I need to get us there'? - and I also want the pure understanding/acknowledgment for what and how I'm feeling, which in my experience NT's can be just as compassionate with as NF's. I think there's a huge difference between how a mature ENTP/NT might handle the moping/crying/general unhappiness - as they can have a large capacity for emotional understanding and support - and how any more insensitive person (who could in fact be an F) might just treat my feelings lightly and blow them off.
    Glad to hear all that. This is another case where people misunderstand F vs. T. F does not mean Feeling, only evaluation. T does not simply mean Thinking but also determining "what is". Sometimes evaluation (whether something is fair/unfair, agreeable/disagreeable) is less helpful than trying to understand without presuming to RELATE or sympathize.

    ha, it's funny how much I tend to relate to ENTP's. Anyway, like you, I tend to keep things inside - wanting to either keep them at bay and sort them out on my own, or out of fear they might be misunderstood - but eventually they must be released. I also have the fear, although at times think it isn't so much fear as simply what I've learned over time, which is that not that many people can really identify with me, and vice versa - so hence I keep it in. But unlike you I don't externalize insensitivity because of my sensitivity (although my acquiring a more cynical outlook of people/humanity has in the past been the crutch I've used to shield myself and make myself feel stronger).
    I would refrain from externalizing insensitivity but I just hate feeling weak and pitied. If I can't be collected in reality, I want to appear collected.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  6. #266
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Interesting.

    I think ENTP's are likely to manipulate in a fairly superficial and instrumental fashion, which is unlikely to cause a crisis of conscience. Like, "Let me use my Fe powers to smooth things over and we can both be happy."

    Whereas I can see an INFJ agonizing over a manipulation.
    Very True- I confessed about the master plan for Project Get Dog after hubby and dog were bonded. Hubby thought it was funny and just got me- an INFJ will do INFJ things,lol. That and like Dr. Doom and James Bond villians, I must share my master plan with the worthy listener,lol.
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  7. #267
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladypinkington View Post
    Very True- I confessed about the master plan for Project Get Dog after hubby and dog were bonded. That and like Dr. Doom and James Bond villians, I must share my master plan with the worthy listener,lol.
    I'm sure he was charmed by your sugar-coated treachery! I would have been. It's like seeing a baby killer predator at play.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  8. #268
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Glad to hear all that. This is another case where people misunderstand F vs. T. F does not mean Feeling, only evaluation. T does not simply mean Thinking but also determining "what is". Sometimes evaluation (whether something is fair/unfair, agreeable/disagreeable) is less helpful than trying to understand without presuming to RELATE or sympathize.
    Yeah, I would agree.

    I think for myself (and this is purely my preference, I'm not speaking for nf's or infj's here), I desire a blend of objectivity (looking at things as they are, and simply trying to uderstand what's going on and getting that information (i.e. the 'what is'), with the more empathetic 'yeah that sucks'/'yeah I hear you'/let me give you a hug piece.

    I would refrain from externalizing insensitivity but I just hate feeling weak and pitied. If I can't be collected in reality, I want to appear collected.
    Oh I can relate to not wanting to be viewed as weak or pitied, and I too want to appear collected.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  9. #269
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    I think also that attempting to relate and empathize can keep people from digging into the root of the problem. I've noticed that many people mobilize very quickly without taking time to weigh what might be really going on with someone. Also, empathy can sometimes result in this tendency where people are not really listening or being attentive because they can feel like they already know how I feel and what I need to feel better. For example, sometimes I want to vent more than I want someone to kiss my booboos.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  10. #270
    lurking.... Wyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    ha, it's funny how much I tend to relate to ENTP's. Anyway, like you, I tend to keep things inside - wanting to either keep them at bay and sort them out on my own, or out of fear they might be misunderstood - but eventually they must be released. I also have the fear, although at times think it isn't so much fear as simply what I've learned over time, which is that not that many people can really identify with me, and vice versa - so hence I keep it in. But unlike you I don't externalize insensitivity because of my sensitivity (although my acquiring a more cynical outlook of people/humanity has in the past been the crutch I've used to shield myself and make myself feel stronger).
    I was thinking the same thing while reading that post of syn's. Despite being being INFJs' MBTI shadow type, I find a get along very easily with ENTPs.

    On a completely different note. I'm amazed at how well so many people here are able to explain their feelings in MBTI terminology. I, despite being semi-into MBTI for almost two years feel limited to using everyday language or hypothetical/real life examples to get my point across.

    When you start talking about cognitive functions, I feel like ...
    *scan to reading post until I find English again*

    I wonder why other INFJs seem to grasp MBTI terms more readily than I do. Maybe I'm just lazy

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