INFJ male here.
MAJOR confound: when I am attracted to a female, I have (more most of my life) acted almost exactly like I act with anyone new ... I self-disclose much of my surface stuff, and some hints of the not-so-surface stuff, show authentic interest, and indulge in learning as much about them as I can. I am very open, very interested.
DOWNSIDE: most women are programmed from high school onward to interpret this as "needy" or "desperate" or some other b.s. interpretation that is self-flattering when one is a teenager, but often completely invalid later in life.
I have learned, the hard way, to do that which women say they despise in men, but which women themselves motivate us men to do: now I go dark, and reveal only a little. Amazingly, embarrassingly, dishearteningly --- this totally works. And it is totally not who I am. And it even hurts. But it totally works. :sad: