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[ENFJ] Soul Piercing Stare: ENFJ Trait?

MissMurder

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Oct 18, 2008
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My ENFJ friend and I get along very well, and we're always at ease with each other. However, there's this one look she gives me that I simply cannot take. Fortunately, it happens rarely.

First, she locks eyes with me, and then it literally feels as if she is staring down into the depths of my wretched soul, searching, seeking... something, anything amiss. I fidget, I try to break away eye contact. I fear her turning up a false positive, and this fear usually makes me look guilty as sin anyway.

Is this an ENFJ trait?
 

LindseyLadybug

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From my experience, yes. I can sometimes do it too though. I'll be studying someone and looking at every detail in their expressions, mannerisms, clothing, word choice, reactions, etc and I can often pinpoint their insecurities. It's amusing to me when people think I don't catch on to certain things about them and act all weird around me like they're hiding something. I'm like, "Do you not realize how obvious it is?!" However, when the ENFJs I know do this, it makes me uncomfortable...I guess it's because I wonder if they're studying me as much as I study others...because that's detailed. Then again, it can be reassuring to know that a person understands me from the start and I don't have to work as hard to prove myself.
 

redacted

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Nov 28, 2007
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Yes, it sounds like an NFJ thing.

I'd say it's more scary with INFJs for the most part :) I've been told that I do this, and I could imagine it would be pretty unnerving.
 

LindseyLadybug

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I'd say it's more scary with INFJs for the most part :) I've been told that I do this, and I could imagine it would be pretty unnerving.


Yeah, that's probably because we don't talk as much so all people see is a person in the corner plotting. Muahahahaha!!!
 

Darjur

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I actually do this a lot and I far away from a FJ.
 

Amargith

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I've known INTJ's to do that too...
 

Virtual ghost

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This sounds like me. Since my default glare is cold and pircing. Since my Fe is very weak, person is even more uncomfortable.

I actually see through people since everything what people feel is totally logical in almost all cases. I don't understand emotion itself but I am very good in finding a source and if you know source it is not too hard to know what other person is feeling.


I have even said to other people what I have concluded and what should be done to solve their problem. What people found most disturbing since
1. they are begging that no one will see it.
2. the fact that the person who see it is me.

I have learned that you must not do this kind of things, it scares other people too much.
 

Siegfried

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?
This sounds like me. Since my default glare is cold and pircing. Since my Fe is very weak, person is even more uncomfortable.

I actually see through people since everything what people feel is totally logical in almost all cases. I don't understand emotion itself but I am very good in finding a source and if you know source it is not too hard to know what other person is feeling.


I have even said to other people what I have concluded and what should be done to solve their problem. What people found most disturbing since
1. they are begging that no one will see it.
2. the fact that the person who see it is me.

I have learned that you must not do this kind of things, it scares other people too much.

This is something I manage to do aswell, but in particular situations, verification has to be made since its a hunch and can be rebutted. I don't mean to do it conciously, it just my dominant function.

I've know other ENFJs who are capable of this, so it must be a trait. Considering the people who posted it may be a Ni trait or a general Ni/Ne characteristic.
 

Cameigons

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I've been told I do that too.. as if I didn't know :p
But I avoid doing that to people, even if it's someone close... unless there's a reason. :2ar15:
The way I see it people exhibit this behaviour for different reasons. There's different kinds of investigative stares that give me different impressions.
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
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I would said that this probably has to do something with Ni and IN.
Since both groups are rare in population most of people are uncomfortable with it.
Not to mention that those two groups overlap.
 

spirilis

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hahaha, I can't hold a gaze at someone for more than a few seconds usually, ESPECIALLY if they're doing that to me... usually have to dart my eyes around the area or look just past them when talking to them.
 

Lauren Ashley

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Like was said previously, INxJs do this too and I think it has to do with Ni. I usually do this when I am imagining or analyzing something.
 

iwakar

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Like was said previously, INxJs do this too and I think it has to do with Ni. I usually do this when I am imagining or analyzing something.

/agree

Although if I realize my Ni-lasersweep is making someone uncomfortable or it's at an inappropriate time, I try to check myself and ease off. I've made an ExFP boyfriend or two in my past quake in their boots when I was scanning for the fugitive lie. Ni, it's a visual MRI scan.

I've also experienced that scan from a fellow Ni-dom and found it unnerving till I recognized it, which helped me react to it. My INFP boyfriend's father is INTJ (my speculation) and when I met him for the third time (he didn't speak to me the first two times because he FAILS at social etiquette) I noticed during our dinner conversation he was piercing me as I spoke. I felt the A-ha! moment. It was humorous for me to spot him and I don't know if he's familiar with MBTI, so I decided not to mention it.

It seems that NiTe spots the emotions, but doesn't bother much with them. They pass over analyzing them up front and trace them like a line of keg powder to the source, which is how they churn out their analysis. Conversely, I speculate NiFe reads the emotions like an arterial roadmap to see the points of interest and make web-like connections. I think both however, are capable of employing the alternative method at times. But, it's merely abstract speculation...

(On a personal note, I found the interaction between the three of us enlightening. I can't help but feel that I instinctively and naturally act as a psychological landbridge between the two. My boyfriend admits they interacted better with my casual facilitation, and I can easily see how they do not get along most of the time in my absence. INFP - INFJ - INTJ; interesting dinner conversation!)
 
Last edited:

proteanmix

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/agree

Although if I realize my Ni-lasersweep is making someone uncomfortable or it's at an inappropriate time, I try to check myself and ease off. I've made an ExFP boyfriend or two in my past quake in their boots when I was scanning for the fugitive lie. Ni, it's a visual MRI scan.

I've also experienced that scan from a fellow Ni-dom and found it unnerving till I recognized it, which helped me react to it. My INFP boyfriend's father is INTJ (my speculation) and when I met him for the third time (he didn't speak to me the first two times because he FAILS at social etiquette) I noticed during our dinner conversation he was piercing me as I spoke. I felt the A-ha! moment. It was humorous for me to spot him and I don't know if he's familiar with MBTI, so I decided not to mention it.

It seems that NiTe spots the emotions, but doesn't bother much with them. They pass over analyzing them up front and trace them like a line of keg powder to the source, which is how they churn out their analysis. Conversely, I speculate NiFe reads the emotions like an arterial roadmap to see the points of interest and make web-like connections. I think both however, are capable of employing the alternative method at times. But, it's merely abstract speculation...

(On a personal note, I found the interaction between the three of us enlightening. I can't help but feel that I instinctively and naturally act as a psychological landbridge between the two. My boyfriend admits they interacted better with my casual facilitation, and I can easily see how they do not get along most of the time in my absence. INFP - INFJ - INTJ; interesting dinner conversation!)

I have similar story that just happened this weekend with an ENTJ!

Some of my coworkers and I went out for drinks after work and I've had a very strong feeling this woman was ENTJ (I'm totally in awe of her!) but it definitely confirmed on Friday. I get really excited when I meet other ENJs because the only EN types I run across are ENPs and
indifferent0018.gif
with that.

But what's been interesting about her is that even though I feel oddly comfortable around her, I still (or until the end of Friday night) felt that I was constantly given the once over for sizing up but since I wasn't outright dismissed I must have been exuding some saving grace. Maybe that's the Ni-Te/Te-Ni thing you're talking about? I don't think I would've gone about it in the same way.

If I'm giving anyone a piercing stare I'm not aware of it and if I am it's not something I'd want to continue. I've gotten those before and I feel like it puts me in a pissing contest that I don't want to lose. I wouldn't want anyone to feel as uncomfortable as I feel when I get those looks.
 

sade

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Shouldn't the quality of the stare taken in count?
I find the INTJ stare way different from the ENFJ stare even if they are both soul piercing. And I usually get the urge to stare right back, or size the other person up also. :rolli:
Oh, sorry. iwakar had already posted about that. :blush:
 

Sunshine

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It's not just an NFJ thing.
 

Domino

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It's not just an NFJ thing.

Johnny Rotten stared at people like a crazed fiend because of the mysterious piercing quality called "meningitis-ruined eye sight". :D

I've never felt intimidated or put-off by NFJs of any kind, nor NTJs. Crossing up an ISTJ/ISTP might lead to a hard stare, however.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I've even done this with teachers on accident. They are like "hi, IDK...???" and then I get startled because I didn't realize I was staring at them and respond with a "uhhh.. hi???...haha. It's like I completely zone out without being aware of my surroundings. Oh crud, that was not relevant to this thread but I also tend to do the soul-piercing stare and it really tends to freak people out.
 

Economica

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It seems that NiTe spots the emotions, but doesn't bother much with them. They pass over analyzing them up front and trace them like a line of keg powder to the source, which is how they churn out their analysis. Conversely, I speculate NiFe reads the emotions like an arterial roadmap to see the points of interest and make web-like connections. I think both however, are capable of employing the alternative method at times. But, it's merely abstract speculation...

As an INTJ who has recently become aware of just how good NFJs are at reading others I have to disagree with the bolded part. Next to you guys (and several other types, e.g. ENTP) we're all but oblivious to body language. Our analyses of others are primarily based on their statements and actions, not:

every detail in their expressions, mannerisms, clothing, word choice, reactions, etc
 

LunaIndigo

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My mother is an ENFJ and sometimes at home I'll look up and she's totally staring at me from across the living room. It's very unnerving. I'm like, "Wha...?" she's like, "Just lookin' atcha." She doesn't understand how creepy it is.
 
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