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  1. #41
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    (Sure, some people overdo this by doing always as their friends want, but...)
    Those people are called NF's.

  2. #42
    Senior Member mlittrell's Avatar
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    even if you learn to use feeling, it will still be filtered through thinking/logic/reason so even the feeling will have a logical foundation
    "Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress. "

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  3. #43
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Well... first you take your hand and you gently place it on someone, then move it over them nice and slow tak.... oops!

    Actually, for yourself ThatGirl, you should be asking the more mature Ts on the board. They'll have a better way of explaining it.
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  4. #44
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    Yes, I think it counts. You are showing that you want to go there because you will make her happy, not because "it makes sense". It's a nice gesture. (Sure, some people overdo this by doing always as their friends want, but...)
    But what if the reason it doesn't make sense to go is because it will make you feel uncomfortable or bored? In that case, isn't it still a sort of feeling guiding the decision (just one that isn't oriented outwardly)?

    Anyway, I would just like to say that I actually find this thread fairly useful. The use of examples where feeling and thinking differ with decisions on the same subjects is informative. More please.
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  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    But what if the reason it doesn't make sense to go is because it will make you feel uncomfortable or bored? In that case, isn't it still a sort of feeling guiding the decision (just one that isn't oriented outwardly)?
    Oh, yeah, you are right actually. I just realized that I answered a different question than ThatGirl was asking. I just jumped ahead trying to help TG get along better with her friends so I told what the feeler assumes her to do... or how a feeler would behave but that isn't what a thinker with strong feeling would do. (And to that question I don't have an answer)

  6. #46
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    Oh, yeah, you are right actually. I just realized that I answered a different question than ThatGirl was asking. I just jumped ahead trying to help TG get along better with her friends so I told what the feeler assumes her to do... or how a feeler would behave but that isn't what a thinker with strong feeling would do. (And to that question I don't have an answer)
    Ah, yes, you're right that making the decision to go to the party for the sake of her friend's feelings is a "feeler" decision.

    I just wanted to point out (and this is really not directly related to anything you said) that if she had decided not to go, that might still have been a "feeling" decision (because she hates parties, or she can't stand the people who will be there).
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  7. #47
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    Actually I wasn't going to go because I have a million other things that take priority. I have to work the next day, and it takes more effort in planning for me to attend than she realizes. Overall that amount of effort could be more productive applied to my responsibilities and long term goal, rather than a night of indulgance.

    Not to mention getting a gift

  8. #48
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Am I a feeler if I just spent 2 hours helping a guy study for his GED math test?

  9. #49
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Oh, I can teach you how to be a feeler, ThatGirl. Come over to my place anytime and we'll get started.
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  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Actually I wasn't going to go because I have a million other things that take priority. I have to work the next day, and it takes more effort in planning for me to attend than she realizes. Overall that amount of effort could be more productive applied to my responsibilities and long term goal, rather than a night of indulgance.

    Not to mention getting a gift
    Hmmm...this makes me wonder what the real difference is between thinking and feeling. Your reservations for going to the party could still be construed as feeling because you value your responsibilities (and the overall benefits that attending to them can bring you in the long term) more than you value your friends feelings, which is still a judgment based on value (though I'm not saying that you don't value your friend's feelings, just using this as a scenario).

    And this really gets to the crux of my problem with the whole T/F divide. Say you're in a situation where someone who is important to you (in a career utility way) says something prodigiously stupid during an informal conversation, which you disagree with on a factual or moral basis (this doesn't matter to the scenario, only the fact that you disagree matters). Regardless of what is motivating your desire to argue, you have a few choices to make...you can either ignore him/her, try to find a polite way to correct him/her, or outright argue with him/her (accepting the high possibility that this engagement will probably offend him/her).

    The problem is that no matter which one of these options you choose, it will always be rooted on a base value. If you choose to ignore him/her, your decision could have been based off of utility, in which case you value the long-term career and financial benefits that you will receive if you let the error pass. Or you might not want to hurt his/her feelings, in which case you clearly value social harmony. Or you might not want him/her to think poorly of you (even though you're right) because you value the feeling of being appreciated. In all cases there's something that you value.

    And even if you went about in this way and weighed the pros and cons of each potential decision (which is something that is typically grouped under "thinking"), you would still be basing your final decision on what you valued most. Essentially, I'm saying that if feeling = making judgments of value, then we are all feelers, because almost all decisions are made from values.

    Or are we saying that the difference lies in the process? That the thinker would have automatically gone through the pros and cons of each choice, and the feeler would have automatically known what to decide without considering the other possibilities? That in ThatGirl's case, if she were a feeler she would not have consciously considered any other alternative to what she valued?
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