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  1. #31
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    this sort of stuff is fascinating to me!! so interesting!! i do the opposite...i have overwhelming feelings and have to try really hard to figure out what i think about them!!
    I can't stand them! Yesterday in my english class, we were discussing an essay written about Facebook and technology in schools. Every time someone brought up a point, I'd play devil's advocate and say, "But, at the opposite end of the spectrum, this might happen..." or I'd constantly just criticize someone's opinion. There's an ENFP girl that sits at the table behind me and she...is...so...annoying. She's always talking, always has an opinion about something that's morally wrong, and always thinks she's misunderstood.

    I'm always looking at her and thinking, "Aren't you so cute, trying to get your creativity and opinions noticed!" Our teacher asked us to write on the board things we think can be hated, and she wrote "People who assume things they don't know." As soon as she wrote that, I had a lightbulb moment, and wrote, "People who think they are unique regardless of outside circumstances." :X

  2. #32
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    see...and now i'm trying to figure out if i should be offended...haha
    since i don't know ya and i'm not sure i understand your point... i guess i'll choose not to be
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #33
    Let's make this showy! raz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    see...and now i'm trying to figure out if i should be offended...haha
    since i don't know ya and i'm not sure i understand your point... i guess i'll choose not to be
    I was just venting. ENFPs get on my nerves. Are you a nice ENFP?

  4. #34
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    ^^ it's okay... feeling's mutual i can't blame ya...we're quite different.

    eta: sorry...not you specifically...just the istj's i know
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #35
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    Yeah e.a.'s nice like Cujo!

  6. #36
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    This was a seriously nice (ie, respectful) interchange. Thanks, you two.
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

  7. #37
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raz1337 View Post
    I can't stand them! Yesterday in my english class, we were discussing an essay written about Facebook and technology in schools. Every time someone brought up a point, I'd play devil's advocate and say, "But, at the opposite end of the spectrum, this might happen..." or I'd constantly just criticize someone's opinion. There's an ENFP girl that sits at the table behind me and she...is...so...annoying. She's always talking, always has an opinion about something that's morally wrong, and always thinks she's misunderstood.

    I'm always looking at her and thinking, "Aren't you so cute, trying to get your creativity and opinions noticed!" Our teacher asked us to write on the board things we think can be hated, and she wrote "People who assume things they don't know." As soon as she wrote that, I had a lightbulb moment, and wrote, "People who think they are unique regardless of outside circumstances." :X
    haha, I wonder if she picked up the hint.
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  8. #38
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    ok
    its all about chewing your words.
    your Fe, which needs to beef up, is all about that
    being polite and kind, even if you don't mean it.
    its easing over problems to keep " harmony "

    sorry if i came off harsh - its the Fi
    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    You are describing an either undeveloped or an unhealthy feeler, Thursday. In which case your advice is inadvisable. I don't think anyone should ever act nice and not mean it. Lies lead to major misunderstandings. Eekers.
    Seconded. Thursday, dearest you are not describing healthy Fe or Fi for that matter.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    true
    is it so wrong being nice no matter what?
    sucking it up and being nice?
    i didn't say kiss ass or be fake
    i don't like a lot of people for that very reason
    but, since i don't want conflict, i simply ignore them
    when they say hi, i'll say hi...but nothing more
    no added sugar, and certainly no " I hate you " salt
    Yeah, that's what I do too.

    Thatgirl, I don't know how to tell you to be a feeler.

    I know what I've done to try and increase my thinking skills. Maybe you could apply them to yourself.

    When I've caught myself just being me I know that I'm a more reactive person and I don't think things through fully. I decide quickly. To other people it seems like there's some major thought going on, but I think that's just the assuredness in the decision not necessarily any thought. And it's funny how much confidence in a decision (right or wrong) strikes people as a thoughtful decision and they follow along.

    For me to "think" (this language isn't right but it's what I'll use) in the way you want to learn how to "feel" I have to be consciously telling myself STOP and THINK. Think things through just one step further than what I normally would do. That means I have to tell myself don't think about how this effects people (you may ask yourself how will this affect others), don't think about how I personally feel about it, just look at things in a very just the facts and nothing else way and take those factors into consideration in my decision making process. I temporarily tamp down my natural interpersonal and intrapersonal impulses. Sometimes I make a mental pro/con list to help me sort this out. I also like mental Venn diagrams so I can get a warm and fuzzy compromise.

    When I went to buy a digital camera earlier this year, I grabbed one of my INTJ friends and headed to Best Buy. I got there, read a few descriptions and was prepared to buy. I thought I was grinding my thinking gears and was patting myself on the back. She stopped me, told me to do research, figure out what I wanted my digital camera to do (ISO? shutter speed? megapixels? price?) and make a decision based on that and come back and buy once I'd figured that stuff out. End result is a got a good camera way cheaper online than rolling up in the store and walking out with a camera.

    Personally, I know that impersonal decision making isn't something that comes naturally to me. Thankfully there's not many purely impersonal decisions to be made out there. Since I know this, I have my "thinking" consultants I get feedback from. They're good people so I trust them. We usually exchange services so it's a cozy little agreement we have worked out.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  9. #39
    ThatGirl
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    I told my friend today that I would go to her birthday party . Even though it makes no sense for me to attend. Because she said it is important to her.


    Still can't gaurentee I will be able to attend though. Does that count?

  10. #40
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I told my friend today that I would go to her birthday party . Even though it makes no sense for me to attend. Because she said it is important to her.


    Still can't gaurentee I will be able to attend though. Does that count?
    Yes, I think it counts. You are showing that you want to go there because you will make her happy, not because "it makes sense". It's a nice gesture. (Sure, some people overdo this by doing always as their friends want, but...)

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