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  1. #11
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anja View Post
    I don't think anyone should ever act nice and not mean it. Lies lead to major misunderstandings. Eekers.
    true
    is it so wrong being nice no matter what?
    sucking it up and being nice?
    i didn't say kiss ass or be fake
    i don't like a lot of people for that very reason
    but, since i don't want conflict, i simply ignore them
    when they say hi, i'll say hi...but nothing more
    no added sugar, and certainly no " I hate you " salt
    I N V I C T U S

  2. #12
    ThatGirl
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    Pinks funny.

    But yeah, I don't understand being nice for the sake of being nice because I think I view things differently. If you go off treat others as you would have them treat you sort of thing then I think I do that. I just expect people to question things and be very blunt and clear.

    What I need to learn to do is pull in the reigns a bit. i understand not everyone thinks like me, but when I try to get more feeler, its stiff and forced, and apparently awkward. Say for exapmle guy I talk to everyday walks up to me at work and says hello. I answered hows it going hows your day. He looked at me weird and walked away. Later when other friend told him about my new leaf, he yelled out, "Is that WTF was wrong with you earlier"


    Now another aspect is the fact that I think more feeler people get taken advantage of all the time. I observe it a lot. So it doesnt make sense to embrase such a trait. It makes me really uncomfortable. Ultimatley reluctant. Then a little rebelious.

    Its awkward and makes me want to run.

  3. #13
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Pinks funny.

    But yeah, I don't understand being nice for the sake of being nice because I think I view things differently. If you go off treat others as you would have them treat you sort of thing then I think I do that. I just expect people to question things and be very blunt and clear.

    What I need to learn to do is pull in the reigns a bit. i understand not everyone thinks like me, but when I try to get more feeler, its stiff and forced, and apparently awkward. Say for exapmle guy I talk to everyday walks up to me at work and says hello. I answered hows it going hows your day. He looked at me weird and walked away. Later when other friend told him about my new leaf, he yelled out, "Is that WTF was wrong with you earlier"


    Now another aspect is the fact that I think more feeler people get taken advantage of all the time. I observe it a lot. So it doesnt make sense to embrase such a trait. It makes me really uncomfortable. Ultimatley reluctant. Then a little rebelious.

    Its awkward and makes me want to run.
    ok - mbti aside
    look up compassion - not an F related thing, per se
    I N V I C T U S

  4. #14
    Senior Member Harlow_Jem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Pinks funny.

    But yeah, I don't understand being nice for the sake of being nice because I think I view things differently. If you go off treat others as you would have them treat you sort of thing then I think I do that. I just expect people to question things and be very blunt and clear.

    What I need to learn to do is pull in the reigns a bit. i understand not everyone thinks like me, but when I try to get more feeler, its stiff and forced, and apparently awkward. Say for exapmle guy I talk to everyday walks up to me at work and says hello. I answered hows it going hows your day. He looked at me weird and walked away. Later when other friend told him about my new leaf, he yelled out, "Is that WTF was wrong with you earlier"


    Now another aspect is the fact that I think more feeler people get taken advantage of all the time. I observe it a lot. So it doesnt make sense to embrase such a trait. It makes me really uncomfortable. Ultimatley reluctant. Then a little rebelious.

    Its awkward and makes me want to run.
    Ditto. It's awkward as shit and makes me cringe but I definitely need some lessons in FSL (Feeling as a Second Language) too.

    But we need lessons from someone who can explain it in terms that Thinkers can understand because judging from what I've tried to learn, feelers can explain it over and over but I still won't understand because they don't even realize they're still speaking in Feeler language when they're explaining.

    Thinkers don't just pick up the Feeler language by being around other feelers. We might see that they speak and act a bit differently, but we can't really start using it just cause we've been around them.

    "I have no need for good souls; an accomplice is what I want"--Sartre


    psychic changes are born in your heart, entertain.

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  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Harlow_Jem View Post
    Ditto. It's awkward as shit and makes me cringe but I definitely need some lessons in FSL (Feeling as a Second Language) too.

    But we need lessons from someone who can explain it in terms that Thinkers can understand because judging from what I've tried to learn, feelers can explain it over and over but I still won't understand because they don't even realize they're still speaking in Feeler language when they're explaining.

    Thinkers don't just pick up the Feeler language by being around other feelers. We might see that they speak and act a bit differently, but we can't really start using it just cause we've been around them.
    Perhaps this will help:

    em?pa?thy? ?/??mp??i/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [em-puh-thee]

    –noun

    1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
    2. the imaginative ascribing to an object, as a natural object or work of art, feelings or attitudes present in oneself: By means of empathy, a great painting becomes a mirror of the self.

    If you ask a person how their day is because you think it's the socially appropriate thing to do, it won't work. I think it's something like only 10% of communication is verbal. Subtle clues such as body language, tone of voice, etc. make up the majority of communication. These are exceedingly difficult to fake.

    Try imagining things from someone else's perspective instead of looking at it solely through your own.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Harlow_Jem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Chase View Post
    Perhaps this will help:

    em?pa?thy? ?/??mp??i/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [em-puh-thee]

    –noun

    1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
    2. the imaginative ascribing to an object, as a natural object or work of art, feelings or attitudes present in oneself: By means of empathy, a great painting becomes a mirror of the self.

    If you ask a person how their day is because you think it's the socially appropriate thing to do, it won't work. I think it's something like only 10% of communication is verbal. Subtle clues such as body language, tone of voice, etc. make up the majority of communication. These are exceedingly difficult to fake.

    Try imagining things from someone else's perspective instead of looking at it solely through your own.
    Anyone with a remote amount of feelings can empathize. I'm an excellent empathizer but that doesn't mean I know how to talk to a feeler the right way.

    "I have no need for good souls; an accomplice is what I want"--Sartre


    psychic changes are born in your heart, entertain.

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  7. #17
    Glycerine
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    Well, you can still be straight-forward and polite at the same time. For example, if someone is bothering you. You could say, "I would much rather be alone right now so can you please let me have some time by myself?" as opposed to "get away from me" So I guess to develop feeling, diplomacy is probably your best bet. Also if you have something negative to say, you can combine it with something positive. Like "you're usually very nice to be around but you're frustrating me right now".

  8. #18
    Senior Member Harlow_Jem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IDK123 View Post
    For example, if someone is bothering you. You could say, "I would much rather be alone right now so can please let me have some time by myself" as opposed to "get away from me"
    Dayum. That was kind of hilarious.

    "I have no need for good souls; an accomplice is what I want"--Sartre


    psychic changes are born in your heart, entertain.

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  9. #19
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    ok
    its all about chewing your words.
    your Fe, which needs to beef up, is all about that
    being polite and kind, even if you don't mean it.
    its easing over problems to keep " harmony "

    sorry if i came off harsh - its the Fi
    That's not the greatest definition of Fe and that definitely sounds more like an unhealthy Fe more than anything. I try to show respect to people that I don't care for but I don't go out of my way for them.

  10. #20
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Any T Ever
    Teach me how to be a feeler.
    THE APOCALYPSE!

    THE APOCALYPSE!
    They're running just like you
    For you, and I, wooo
    So people, people, need some good ol' love

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