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  1. #1
    Senior Member Harlow_Jem's Avatar
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    Default What is depression like for ENFJs?

    What is depression like for ENFJs? What are tell-tale symptoms of a depressed ENFJ? How can someone deal with a depressed ENFJ?

    "I have no need for good souls; an accomplice is what I want"--Sartre


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    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    I'm making a guess here that they become very judgemental of others in their discouragement at making changes in "the way things are."
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

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    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Depends, when I get depressed I feel real down but at the same time I don't like it for other people to see it so I sort of hide it. I don't like to talk about my issues and I won't bring the up unless someone genuinely cares enough ask me what is happening to me. Sometimes At the same time I will also only talk to you about my issues if I trust you enough. I will also get mad and start thinking some "dark" thoughts, and be real negative about stuff as a whole. I will provably throw out certain hints that I feel like shit but I wont say anything too directly about it. As far as signs? Well I guess I wont be me typical cheerful self and you will notice that I get upset a lot easier than usual and won't want to hang around people as much.
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    Senior Member Harlow_Jem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Third Rider View Post
    Depends, when I get depressed I feel real down but at the same time I don't like it for other people to see it so I sort of hide it. I don't like to talk about my issues and I won't bring the up unless someone genuinely cares enough ask me what is happening to me. Sometimes At the same time I will also only talk to you about my issues if I trust you enough. I will also get mad and start thinking some "dark" thoughts, and be real negative about stuff as a whole. I will provably throw out certain hints that I feel like shit but I wont say anything too directly about it. As far as signs? Well I guess I wont be me typical cheerful self and you will notice that I get upset a lot easier than usual and won't want to hang around people as much.
    Hmmm...and how can someone best help you when you're depressed?

    "I have no need for good souls; an accomplice is what I want"--Sartre


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    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    I don't think I have ever "seen" an Fe dominant depressed. One of my best friends is ENFJand he never actually looks depressed or anything... he just hints that he is. (something that -really- annoys me.) He won't say "i'm upset I need someone to talk to." He will just try to act like everything is ok, ask me about myself but only really be thinking about himself. Not sure how to explain it...like he will ask me how my day was, and after I'd say "good" or something he will just say "well at least ONE of us had a good day..."

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    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Harlow_Jem View Post
    Hmmm...and how can someone best help you when you're depressed?
    I guess just asking him how he is doing or if he feels down. being supportive and positive about things, help a lot. It just depends of the situation, sometimes I just want someone to just be there and listen to all my issues without them actually giving me any advice. Well, if anything just tell him that you notice how he is feeling and let him know that you are willing to listen to him. May be he wont be ready to tell you what is happening to him right on the spot so simply let him know that if he needs someone to talk to, you will be available for him when ever he needs support and eventually he might come to you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chris_in_Orbit View Post
    I don't think I have ever "seen" an Fe dominant depressed. One of my best friends is ENFJ and he never actually looks depressed or anything... he just hints that he is. (something that -really- annoys me.) He won't say "i'm upset I need someone to talk to." He will just try to act like everything is ok, ask me about myself but only really be thinking about himself. Not sure how to explain it...like he will ask me how my day was, and after I'd say "good" or something he will just say "well at least ONE of us had a good day..."
    He won't tell does that because he wants you to ask him how he feels. Its about you "genuinely" caring enough about him to ask how he feels. If I tell you to ask me how I am feeling it just feels kind of fake, almost like you really didn't care enough to ask me how I feel so why bother letting you know how I feel. Deep down we do want you to ask us so that is why we throw out the hints. Also like I said, i don't like people to see when I am down so I usually slap on a smile and carry on with my day.
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

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  7. #7
    Senior Member Chris_in_Orbit's Avatar
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    I guess its good to hear it from the horses mouth. Personally I find that method of showing your emotions extremely shallow, but sometimes I forget that people have different ways of expressing themselves....

    I do care how he is feeling but when he just hints at it I get the feeling that he is playing games with me that I don't have the patience for.. We are good friends and if you are feeling down and need someone to talk to I am going to listen and try to cheer you up. The indirect suggesting is something I've never found appealing in others or myself. Well at any rate I can understand why he does it more now, thanks.

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    I knew an ENFJ who had major depression issues. She had to see a therapist and was put on many different medications for the depression. At times, this ENFJ was suicidal and eventually ended up being temporarily put in a mental hospital.

    What was this ENFJ like when depressed? If you didn't know her well, and only saw her public facade, you NEVER would've even guessed she was depressed. In public she was cheerful, friendly, personable, smiled a lot.

    She put herself out there a lot, but also held a lot in. Did quite a bit of attention whoring, especially online with her MSN and Facebook. She always advertised how she was feeling, weather it was good or bad.

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    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    Well, when I'm depressed I like to listen to energetic as an upper and just stay at home and sleep. I'm not really a big fan of hanging out with people when I'm in this state. I, myself, really don't get out enough to know the difference between being depressed and not any more. The only thing I know is that my neck and back hurt when I'm depressed.

    For as personal as we take things and as down on ourselves as we get, we ENFJ's sure do have excellent days, like we're on top of the world. It's kind of like we rubber bands of emotion while everyone else are just blocks of wood or something.
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

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    ENFJ's do so much even they're depressed, and still hide it so others can be encouraged. You all need and deserve the most love and care more than any other type since you give out so much of it.

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