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  1. #1
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    Default INFJs/therapists/motivation

    So I've seen a couple of posts by INFJs saying therapists have asked if they should continue going because they seem to have things worked out, etc.. This happened to me too. It seems therapists might not be able to provide us with as much new insight.

    I found this description of INFJ and wonder if this could be a reason therapy could still be useful for us. Do INFJs relate to this description? Would therapy be a good place to get this or any other ideas?

    This was categorized under the section on our inferior extraverted sensing function:
    "The...own world is one of indecision and hesitation when it comes to taking action and striking out on their own. What best removes this hesitation is when someone else really wants them to do something. The...then relies on the other person's strong desire to mobilize them to action, as if the force of their desire were their own."

  2. #2
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Honestly, every INFJ I've come across has been in serious need of therapy.

    My last therapist couldn't help me much because I already "knew" all the answers. But you just gotta find a therapist that takes you out of your comfort zone....I've figured more out in the last month with this therapist than entire years with any of my others.

    And, believe me, I thought I had myself completely figured out. Truth is, it's just a cover-up.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by evan View Post
    Honestly, every INFJ I've come across has been in serious need of therapy.

    My last therapist couldn't help me much because I already "knew" all the answers. But you just gotta find a therapist that takes you out of your comfort zone....I've figured more out in the last month with this therapist than entire years with any of my others.

    And, believe me, I thought I had myself completely figured out. Truth is, it's just a cover-up.
    Yea, I don't think I have myself figured out. It's just what the therapists tend to tell us-unfortunately. My last experience it turned into chatting and actually hearing my therapist's problems. I kind of gave up trying to find one.....which I guess could tie into the "hesitation" mentioned in my first post. ha.

  4. #4
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by karenk View Post
    Yea, I don't think I have myself figured out at all. It's just what the therapists tend to tell us-unfortunately. I kind of gave up trying to find one for this purpose, so I started to focus on the motivation purpose.
    There are good ones out there.

  5. #5
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I liked my last one a lot. Cognitive therapy was very helpful for me and I made good progress once I was able to change my perspective.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #6
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    Default INFJs/therapists/motivation

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I liked my last one a lot. Cognitive therapy was very helpful for me and I made good progress once I was able to change my perspective.
    I'd be really interested in how cognitive therapy changed your perspective. Cognitive therapy has been strongly recommended for me b/c of the bipolar, but in the wasteland of public mental healthcare, it's very hard to find. I've had numerous therapists over the years and it's often turned into chatting sessions with the therapist confiding his/her problems OR trying to get me to consider medication OR missing the bipolar altogether and coming up with some really wild dxs (weird since I have bipolar I and my symptoms are pretty classic--I have been dx'd four times with bipolar during psych evals).


    I read something the other day that said INFJs and INTJs are way overrepresented among those of us with bipolar. I'll have to see if I can find it. Small sampling of about 100 who took MBTI, all of whom had a dx of bipolar. INFJs came out at about 17%, INTJs 14%.

    My current therapist is pretty decent with good boundaries and we deal mostly with how I'm coping with the bipolar in my life, which I find useful as she has some good insights. Unfortunately, we don't get much past the label: e.g., was this decision made during a manic/hypomanic phase. Even when I'm in remission (rare), we don't get down to personality/motivation issues but talk more about how to prolong it. Unfortunately she ascribes some behavior to the bipolar that I believe goes deeper than that.

    The other problem is that I see her in a public health clinic setting and she's not as available as I'd like. For example, I have a lot of heavy-duty stressors (most of which have to do with indecision) going on right now and there'll be a month between sessions at the same time my psychiatrist is unavailable until Dec. 24 (has been out of the country since Oct). I'm aware of early mania/mixed mood symptoms--which is probably why I'm too chatty here. Anyway, I'm thrown back on myself and "home remedies," like trying to get more sleep, forcing myself to eat despite lack of appetite, sticking to my routine, all of which is hard because of the nature of the stressors.

    Sometimes I wonder if I don't have bipolar at all but am just strongly INFJ. OTOH, I respond to psych meds and there's a strong family history, so... Still, it would be nice not to have to deal with the side effects of the meds and to deal with personality issues in therapy. Ironically, doubting my dx is one of the very early signs that I'm getting ill again. Shit. What I need is a Depakote level (it was a little low in Oct.) to see if a dose increase would help nip this thing in the bud and maybe someone to talk to about my indecision. I really do not want to spend Christmas on a locked psych unit (not likely; just one of my fears).

    Okay, way too much once more, and is it really OP?
    It's a blessing...and a curse.

    Originally Posted by Anja
    I don't have room for shame in my life.

    INFJ, 4w5 sx

  7. #7
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    We had crappy private insurance when I was seeing my therapist. She saw me, but I ended up with a pretty big bill, which took us awhile to pay off.

    I was dxed with bipolar type 2, but since some of my stressors have been removed (poverty and a crazy mom) I've settled into seasonal affective disorder. My family doc prescribed Celexa and though it's reduced my appetite and makes me sleepy, it does seem to be helping.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #8
    Senior Member SoAndSo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by karenk View Post
    So I've seen a couple of posts by INFJs saying therapists have asked if they should continue going because they seem to have things worked out, etc.. This happened to me too. It seems therapists might not be able to provide us with as much new insight.

    I found this description of INFJ and wonder if this could be a reason therapy could still be useful for us. Do INFJs relate to this description? Would therapy be a good place to get this or any other ideas?

    This was categorized under the section on our inferior extraverted sensing function:
    "The...own world is one of indecision and hesitation when it comes to taking action and striking out on their own. What best removes this hesitation is when someone else really wants them to do something. The...then relies on the other person's strong desire to mobilize them to action, as if the force of their desire were their own."

    I can certainly identify with that description. I too got the, "do you need to keep coming" speech from a therapist. I would really like to find one that will push me out of my comfort zone and help me be able to do that myself instead of relying on others to tell me to "jump".

  9. #9
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    If you have ever participated in group therapy, do you find that more helpful than your one-on-one sessions?

  10. #10
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    The last time I went to a therapist was when I was about 10...and it was for my extreme anxiety (which I JUST realized could've been caused in part by my family's religious "insanity"). It didn't work well, as she couldn't even get me to do breathing techniques. I said "I can't...my stomach hurts too much to do it". Looking back though, my stomach didn't actually hurt. It was if I "knew" that I had to stay a paniced-freakazoid. Which long story short, would make sense now. Though, my anxiety has calmed down at least 70%.

    I've thought about going to a therapist, but I know that s/he wouldn't be able to do anything for me. I don't need answers/solutions, I need support. My family is still spiritually insane, I'm still a 3rd parent, and my family is still massively-unstable.

    So, I came up with a solution. "Kinky" as it may be, it works pretty damn well. I create my own therapist. Yup, that's right. I have an "imaginary friend" of sorts lol. I've always been exceedingly good at making "holographic-people" (lol), so it's only natural for me that I create a therapist. Maybe that's my dominant Ni?

    Anyway, in direct response to the OP, I think that at least a good portion of INFJs don't need "therapy". They go to a therapist in search for someone who can provide them with emotional support. AKA, love. Saddly, therapists don't tend to "love" their clients (at least, not outwardly). So we end up being a bit like birds flying into a glass window =/.

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