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  1. #21
    Member Dash's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfmaiden14 View Post
    Dash - I've totally thought about creating a therapist character.. well.. sort of. Especially since I want to be a counselor, I figured I could just talk out or write out what I want to say, and then figure out what my response would be if it were someone else telling me the same thing. I don't know if I'm at a point where I want to take THAT objective a view of myself yet, though. XD
    Ah yes...very similar to what I do. In fact I actually do - do that sometimes, but when I use the "imaginary friend" (lol) method, it's almost like it becomes another person entirely, yet I still can be in touch with their emotions towards me...which seems to be exceedingly theraputic for me.

    I think this is an "ability/thing" that I do in more than just one area...as I do the same thing when I'm learning new martial arts techniques.

    Quote Originally Posted by eclare View Post
    Not precisely on target, but I was wondering if anyone else has the same problem with therapy that I do. That is, I always feel bad for monopolizing the conversation and want to ask my therapist if there's anything on her mind or that she wants to talk about. I have to constantly remind myself that I am paying boku bucks to spend an hour being completely selfish.
    AH HA! Yes, indeed I would feel guilty. I went to therapy only briefly when I was 10, and I didn't feel selfish then. But if I were to go now...absolutely yes. I don't know if you read my post about "imaginary therapists" or not...but I even feel guilty for being selfish with THEM/HER! I think it might have to do with having STRONG Fe. We're so afraid of the other person feeling burdened that we're almost reluctant to talk. Normally though, it isn't a problem (as much lol). Because if we were to talk to a close friend/bf/gf about an issue, we wouldn't feel (as) selfish because we've probably helped them through many things too. I guess it depends on the person you're talking to though =/.
    I don't have a picture up so...here's my youtube with me doing all sorts of crazy martial arts flips and kicks....=D.

    http://www.youtube.com/dashblades

  2. #22
    Cat Wench ReadingRainbows's Avatar
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    I go to regular therapy sessions because my therapist helps me check in and makes sure I'm on track (I have a serious diagnosis that requires medication)
    And I have a crazy unsupportive family (ENTJ alpha males that display APD symtoms, and a crazy INTJ mother who denies everything for her own good) I kinda like doing it on my own though, because I've been kinda like this since I was a kid) I'm going to pursue psychology as a major and I even have discussions with my therapist on how to pursue treatment better etc etc.

  3. #23
    Senior Member jackandthebeast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kestrel View Post

    We just need someone to talk to and bounce our ideas off of and engage in passionate, meaningful discussion from time to time. It also helps to have someone actually challenge our perspective and force out of our fantasy-world comfort zones sometimes. It's a shame that it's so hard to find someone that fits the bill.
    This is exactly what I need. I think the constant search for this is what defines all of my relationships. And the only time I consistently had it was last year.

  4. #24
    Member Split_Infinitive's Avatar
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    I have an absolutely wonderful therapist. She is the only person I can openly talk to about all my complexities and imagined complexities without me needing to get worried whether or not I am bothering her. I do have some friends I can talk to, but it's not the same - with my therapist the whole purpose of me seeing her is so I can talk about myself for an hour, and so I don't need to feel bad about that. (Though I can identify with a poster in this thread who said they felt guilty for not asking their therapists about their lives - I get that too sometimes. I'm very very bad about asking people about their lives and it always bothers me that I'm not better at that. But I got over it with her.)

    I think she understands me and my INFJ-ness really well - or at least she is very open minded to it. She understands that I think a lot about myself and my psyche and why I do things etc. but she also understands that I don't come up with A solution - I come up with multiple acceptable possibilities, and then I get stuck! So she helps me sort out all the convoluted, tangled thoughts I tend to accumulate over the weeks I'm not seeing her.

    The only thing that can sometimes frustrate me a bit is that I am a very VERY staunch "j" - I need to see the process of what we're doing, the options available, the possible outcomes and how to get to each. But as she is an ENFP (she didn't "believe" in MBTI until I typed her as an ENFP, she did the test and she actually came out as an ENFP, too), any plans we seem to make seem to end up going out the window. But it's still good to have her, just as a sounding board.

    We're trying to wean me off her now, as I really have addressed the major issues that I came to her with, but we've cut back to once every other month now and it's making me jittery. I come across multiple things a day that I want to talk to her about.

    Anyway, I think any INFJ would benefit from being able to guilt-free talk about themselves for a full hour every once in a while to a person whose sole purpose during that hour is to listen to you talk about yourself

  5. #25
    Senior Member Scarfism's Avatar
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    I never knew therapy was so common for INFJs...

  6. #26

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    I think the trouble is INFJs are natural therapists themselves, or "people scientists" if you will... as opposed to "technical scientists" like INTJs. Counseling for us comes early and it comes easy. +Perhaps this early emotional responsibility takes a toll on many of us, which causes us to seek counseling ourselves. I'm not sure. I've never had a therapist.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  7. #27
    lurking.... Wyst's Avatar
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    I have never been to a therapist. I doubt will ever want to or need to start going to one either. I grew up in a great family where we were all close - the importance of communication was emphasized. ENFP dad, INTJ mom, ENFP sister, and ENFJ sister.

    Until a year ago I didn't have a great core-group of friends and I probably relied a little too heavily on my family when I needed to talk about things. But they always have and always will be there for me.

    However, over the past year I've really begun to break out of my introverted hermit life. It was a REALLY uncomfortable process of shedding what I thought people thought about me. I wanted to make friends, so I put myself out there and did my best.
    Months later, I now have a several good friends with whom I can talk about anything - I still like/need to talk to my family sometimes but recently I've been going to my friends more and more when I need to process.

    The way I see it, therapy is just an enabling crutch for the INFJ to stay comfortable in his/her little world where they're only used to dealing with 1-3 people at a time. Use it if you need to get a start but eventually you need to throw the crutch away and walk on your own strength.

  8. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyst View Post
    The way I see it, therapy is just an enabling crutch for the INFJ to stay comfortable in his/her little world where they're only used to dealing with 1-3 people at a time. Use it if you need to get a start but eventually you need to throw the crutch away and walk on your own strength.
    I think you may be on to something here.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyst View Post
    I have never been to a therapist. I doubt will ever want to or need to start going to one either. I grew up in a great family where we were all close - the importance of communication was emphasized. ENFP dad, INTJ mom, ENFP sister, and ENFJ sister.
    Wow. I love hearing about close families. I didn't have one. I was the only NF in my family of ST's. They didn't understand me, and I didn't understand them. As a strong INFJ, I wanted to connect with my family, but they simply were not equipped to support me. I grew up in an alcoholic family and that was emotionally wrenching. Alcohol hurt everyone, but me most of all. As an INFJ I wanted so much to have harmony. Every time I tried to bring peace, the ST family shoved me away. I'm empathic by nature, so I ate the family pain until it consumed me.

    I felt like a peach growing on a walnut tree. I am only now realizing how deeply this has damaged me. I am also learning to enjoy being me, thanks to therapy.

    I'm a cancer survivor and disabled. Therapy gives me a chance to just... be. Sure it's a crutch, but I'm using a powerchair and that's a "crutch" I'd be stranded without. If you're doing well on your own, that's awesome and I celebrate you. I also celebrate my one hour with my therapist who helps me untangle and breathe for a bit. Hug your close family. You're blessed beyond words.

    I'm new, btw. Glad I found you.

    WinterWriter

  10. #30
    Junior Member LiLyLemon's Avatar
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    As a strong INFJ, I wanted to connect with my family, but they simply were not equipped to support me.
    Strongly agree with this sentiment WinterWriter. One of the greatest struggles for me is dealing with my uncommunicative and distant relatives, when I long for a real sense of family.

    I have been to therapy when my mother was ill with cancer, and it was beneficial in respect of allowing us both to say how we felt - but when it came to accepting her inevitable death I had already done that years before.

    I am interested in this thread, regarding the numbers of INFJ's in therapy, or with mental health issues of some kind or another. I suspect my own mother was infj also, but so much happened in her life, she was like a fragile flower but at the same time had amazing strength. She had two breakdowns involving psychotic episodes and also battled cancer for 16 years, in many ways she seemed to be a medical anomaly but I do think her ailments might have stemmed as a physical representation of her difficulties being such a sensitive person, ill equipped to deal with this world.

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