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  1. #11
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
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    I get the feeling that a lot of infjs go to therapy because we are too sensitive to stressors to be able to deal with an entire *world* that's catered toward all personality types but ours (and I don't believe I'm hyper bowling here). I'd also be willing to say that we're more...receptive to environmental disorders i.e. post traumatic stress, or borderline personality. I personally found that dbt(dialectic behavior therapy) and cognitive therapy worked quite well for me.

    I would not go into group therapy. *points to self* Introvert, it would never work. But, with just one person I can be honest and listen honestly. Now, not all my therapists were good. One told me I aught to be bitter, which I *knew* was wrong because I *knew* even then that my bitterness was compounding my problems. Another (same office) wanted to do the memory therapy before working with me on how to *deal* with those memories. 1 month with her, nearly a month of missed uni classes. Then I found two good ones. I may still need more but I'm ok enough now that I can deal and live and the society I'm in seriously shuns any kind of psychiatric help. I've diverged onto me haven't I? Sorry.

    Point being, there are good therapists out there, society wasn't made for the sensitive spiritual infjs, I think they probably over medicate us, but sometimes meds are good when they're in moderation, and we shouldn't ever give up.
    -Brio

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
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  2. #12
    Senior Member Kestrel's Avatar
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    I've honestly never been to any kind of therapy. I guess I must have hit the jackpot when it comes to the ideal family for an INFJ to grow up in. My parents were ISFJ (dad) and InFJ (mom).

    Having a parent with the same temperament as myself was a Godsend, especially when dealing with typical INFJ problems. Like feeling out of place, not having easily recognized strengths, dealing with reality not matching ideals, etc. I had someone who could relate to me. Imagine that?

    I don't think any of us NEED therapy. We just need someone to talk to and bounce our ideas off of and engage in passionate, meaningful discussion from time to time. It also helps to have someone actually challenge our perspective and force out of our fantasy-world comfort zones sometimes. It's a shame that it's so hard to find someone that fits the bill.
    I-44 N-88 F-62 J-67

    A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. -Winston Churchill

  3. #13
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    ^Agree 100 percent. I've never been to therapy and I don't see the need for it. I have great people that I can share things with, and they understand and encourage me (ENTP brother, ISFJ, INTP, and INFP friends).
    Last edited by Lauren Ashley; 12-31-2008 at 05:19 PM.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dash View Post
    So, I came up with a solution. "Kinky" as it may be, it works pretty damn well. I create my own therapist. Yup, that's right. I have an "imaginary friend" of sorts lol. I've always been exceedingly good at making "holographic-people" (lol), so it's only natural for me that I create a therapist. Maybe that's my dominant Ni?
    Actually that makes its own kind of sense. I read on that purple-dolphin-infj site that INFJs figure out what actions they want to take by talking things through due to our Fe judging function. So she said it's helpful to talk your thoughts outloud to yourself too. (I haven't tried this yet but I would make sure nobody was around or it may not be understood well. ha!)

  5. #15
    Member Dash's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by karenk View Post
    Actually that makes its own kind of sense. I read on that purple-dolphin-infj site that INFJs figure out what actions they want to take by talking things through due to our Fe judging function. So she said it's helpful to talk your thoughts outloud to yourself too. (I haven't tried this yet but I would make sure nobody was around or it may not be understood well. ha!)
    Ah yes! I remember that site lol. I actually joined the mailing list =/...haven't had time to get into it though. It's like diving into a ROARING river. I'd have to stop being on here, AND stop being on youtube.

    That would actually make sense about Fe...I have a really hard time thinking about that kind of stuff on my own. And apparently, an imaginary doesn't count as "on my own" @_@.

    Talking seems to work "okay" for me, but another person (and I use the term loosely) works a LOT better. Especially since you don't have to worry about filtering. Not to mention you don't have to worry about other people hearing your conversation lol (assuming you can keep the conversation in your head).

    Have you ever created a "personal therapist"? Based on what you said, you didn't sound like you have. Oh well though =P.
    I don't have a picture up so...here's my youtube with me doing all sorts of crazy martial arts flips and kicks....=D.

    http://www.youtube.com/dashblades

  6. #16
    Junior Member wanderlust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dash View Post
    Anyway, in direct response to the OP, I think that at least a good portion of INFJs don't need "therapy". They go to a therapist in search for someone who can provide them with emotional support. AKA, love. Saddly, therapists don't tend to "love" their clients (at least, not outwardly). So we end up being a bit like birds flying into a glass window =/.
    I completely agree. My mom makes me go to a new therapist every once in a while. It's usually after I've become extremely stressed. Some of the therapists have even been naturopaths in her never ending search to find something that "works". I generally know what's wrong, and when I explain to them all about what's been happening, they always say that I'm very intelligent, I understand what's happening, I'm doing the best things I can, and there's nothing else I can do. After a few weeks of sessions, and the therapist explaining to my mom that there's nothing I can do, I usually stop going. The therapist can't actually help me when I have a good grasp of what's wrong and what's going on. I really only go to make my mom feel better, and, selfish as it may be, have someone tell me that they understand, and that it will be alright. Plus, the venting can help loads.

    Quote Originally Posted by briochick View Post
    I get the feeling that a lot of infjs go to therapy because we are too sensitive to stressors to be able to deal with an entire *world* that's catered toward all personality types but ours (and I don't believe I'm hyper bowling here). I'd also be willing to say that we're more...receptive to environmental disorders i.e. post traumatic stress, or borderline personality. I personally found that dbt(dialectic behavior therapy) and cognitive therapy worked quite well for me.
    This is exactly me! I love how this forum helps you find people who are like you and actually do understand what you feel, and how you think.

    Stress just comes way to easily for me. It's funny how some things that exhilarate other people are what sends me home way too emotional, and what makes me happiest, stresses them out to the max.

    Plus, maybe it's just me, but when I'm stressed, I find that, being an INFJ, I'm really in tune with my body and even the slightest bit of stress or discomfort can connect with that. Whether it be a small headache, a migraine, a cold, or being in so much pain I have to go to the hospital (this has actually happened to me as a result of stress), either built up daily stress, or one big emotional blow, my body is really in tune with how I feel and will tell me when enough is enough. Ni lets me escape in a fantasy world when needed, so I can ignore my surrounding very well, and also acts as a stress inhibitor sometimes. So even if I don't notice it, sure enough my body will let me know when I'm stressed. The fact that I'm extremely moody and overtly emotional probably doesn't help any either....

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dash View Post
    Have you ever created a "personal therapist"? Based on what you said, you didn't sound like you have. Oh well though =P.
    No I haven't. I never had any imaginary friends as a kid though either. It seems along the same lines, which is....creative. =P I have found that I could think about an issue for a long time in my head and it just kind of gets turned around. Then I can have a 3 minute conversation about it with someone and I figure out a new connection or decide on some action. It's funny because when this has happened the other person didn't even give any input.

  8. #18
    Member Dash's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by karenk View Post
    No I haven't. I never had any imaginary friends as a kid though either. It seems along the same lines, which is....creative. =P I have found that I could think about an issue for a long time in my head and it just kind of gets turned around. Then I can have a 3 minute conversation about it with someone and I figure out a new connection or decide on some action. It's funny because when this has happened the other person didn't even give any input.
    Ah I see, you use real people instead of imaginary ones lol. It seems that us INFJs REALLY utilize the phrase "Can I bounce an idea off of you?". Lmao. Fe FTW =).
    I don't have a picture up so...here's my youtube with me doing all sorts of crazy martial arts flips and kicks....=D.

    http://www.youtube.com/dashblades

  9. #19
    *ears perk up* wolfmaiden14's Avatar
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    Dash - I've totally thought about creating a therapist character.. well.. sort of. Especially since I want to be a counselor, I figured I could just talk out or write out what I want to say, and then figure out what my response would be if it were someone else telling me the same thing. I don't know if I'm at a point where I want to take THAT objective a view of myself yet, though. XD

    I think just talking things out with someone really, really, really helps. Even if for nothing more than bypassing that whole "it made sense in my head..." Sometimes just SAYING something out loud makes you realize how silly it actually is, or how wrong it feels once that thought is put to words. Like.. it's this abstract concept in your head, and then your mouth is some magical barrier and once it crosses it, it materializes and it becomes obvious it won't work/isn't true.

    I have a friend that I call my big brother because he does just that for me. He's a sounding board. He's one of the few people in the world who "gets" that I'm just throwing out ideas and just listens and helps guide my thoughts. I have so many different angles and possibilities in my head and I can use process of elimination to knock some off, and then talk in circles until I keep coming back to the same conclusion. Other people, parents, and I would think therapists in particular (I've never actually seen one myself) are so keen to take pieces of what you're saying and start giving you feedback as if it's what you're really thinking/feeling, when actually it's only a perspective/possibility you're focusing on at that moment. Then you get nowhere because you just feel misunderstood, and have been given all this advice you didn't really need. Meanwhile, the other person feels progress has been made, and you leave still feeling confused, and with MORE information to sort out than you started with. My Bro actually did stop me like that in the middle of one of these sessions, throwing out some advice that I wasn't ready to deal with, and I lost some trust and stopped seeking his counsel for awhile because of it. I eventually talked to him about it and he apologized, having realized immediately after that all of the above are the reasons I confide in him. That I NEED him to just be there until I reason things out on my own.

    I think INFJs have that nice self awareness and ability to cope with it that would make therapists feel un-needed. (Probably why I haven't actually gone to one. Coupled with lack of insurance. XD) Yet.. it's just that we need help to get THROUGH the thought process, so it's still very much needed. That's why I'm not surprised cognitive therapy has worked nicely for cafe.

    Plus, I think it's typical for all people to feel bad unloading their problems on someone, so no matter how good of friends you have, it's still nicer to have the excuse to just let it flow and not worry about being selfish. I know when I'm with my friends I'll end up bottling or cutting short what I want to say, because I'd rather worry about them.
    Forming characters! Whose? Our own or others? Both. And in that momentous fact lies the peril and responsibility of our existence. - Elihu Burritt

    Member of the Maverick's Biker Club - Now crashing through walls instead of just..walking into them.

  10. #20
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    Not precisely on target, but I was wondering if anyone else has the same problem with therapy that I do. That is, I always feel bad for monopolizing the conversation and want to ask my therapist if there's anything on her mind or that she wants to talk about. I have to constantly remind myself that I am paying boku bucks to spend an hour being completely selfish.

    On topic, I have been lucky enough to work with therapists that I can bounce ideas off of. Also, in my younger years before I had enough experience in life to evaluate my own history I had a therapist who was terrific at pegging things about me that I knew but never articulated to myself. These were great AHA moments that helped a lot.

    These days I find the best approach for therapy for me is to go less frequently. Instead I make appointments only when I am dealing with something that I cannot work out on my own.

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